Lets say that I was your friend and I gave you information about an opening at my job and I tell you to apply. Would you go to the job and apply first then wait and see if you got the job and then tell your cousin that they are hiring or tell them to come with you. Because that is what my friend did. He brought his cousin and she got the job and he didnt. I was kind of upset because I was trying to help him out. I feel to get a job is competition and he added on to his competition even though it was his cousoin. I understand he was trying to help her get a job but I feel like I in a way wasted my time because after when he didnt get it he said he didnt really feel bad because he has a job and etc. I feel like I wasted my time telling him because he wanted to leave his job. I tried to explain how I felt so since he "claim" to be a model-Isn't it the same situation as if you were a model and your agent was to tell you she has a job for you? Would you tell your cousin or go to the job?
2007-03-22 17:09:19 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
I understand what he was trying to do but when someone is trying to help you, I feel you should take that information in to better help you. "You dont let your left hand know what your right hand is doing".
2007-03-22 17:10:15 · update #1
I DEFINITELY don't think he should have brought his cousin. If you are in need of a job, you already have enough competition out there, so there's no need to create more. And since you told HIM about the job, I think he should have applied first, and then if he got it, he should have told his cousin about job opportunities there. I just don't think that it's smart to bring on more competition than you can handle.
2007-03-22 17:13:51 · answer #1 · answered by inquiring black beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are "expecting" too much. You helped him. He did the same thing. So you "helped" him "help" someone else. If you help someone, you don't have the right to tell them how to accept the help. You helped. That's it. If he did something you didn't like, then don't help him again. Maybe someone else would tell their cousin, maybe some would not. It doesn't matter. He did. Don't try to be "right". Just help a friend and give it like a real gift... which means he can do with it what he pleases. Seems because you don't like the result, you are not happy. Perhaps the job got his cousin off the street or something. Maybe getting his cousin a job is more important to him than getting another job himself. I have done the same thing. I got an interview and told someone about it before they told me if I was hired. I was eventually hired, but they offerred that guy a job on the spot!!! (He refused hahah).
Just help him get another job, or ask him how many more unemployed cousins he has. Or maybe he doesn't really want a different job??????
2007-03-23 00:22:53 · answer #2 · answered by LuvDylan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control issues................
ever hear this term before? You probably will!!!!
You can never do something for someone and then expect them to react or act exactly how you want them to. All you are doing is setting yourself up for disappointment............
Others may not or do not want to meet your expectations.
You may think you're helping someone out but they may not see it that way.
Your best bet is to inform w/o expectations and then not be disappointed if the person doesn't take your suggestion.
Battered women, alcoholics,drug addicts are three examples of telling someone they need to leave or quit and the say yeah you're right but continue with their destructive behavior.
When someone is ready to change they will.....................
You told a friend about a job, they told their cousin who got the job. You started the ball rolling it just didn't roll the way you wanted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Two more thoughts: It's not always about you and how you feel and what you think
Second, maybe there is a reason your friend didn't want to work with you!!!!!!!!!!!!
I always thought the saying was "the right hand needs to know what the left hand is doing"
2007-03-23 00:33:25 · answer #3 · answered by Susan C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I agree with you, your friend was being nice by including his cousin, but he should have considered that you were going out of your way to help HIM. He should have at least asked you first about including his cousin. However, I think he is suffering enough in that he did not get the job.
2007-03-23 00:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by zowar1363 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to look at it this way. You did something to help your friend out. Whatever they do with that information is up to them.
It shouldn't matter to you what they did with it because you did them the favor because they are a friend and real friends do things for the sake of doing them - not because they expect any particular result or payoff.
2007-03-23 00:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by wld_jkr 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you not heard the saying "no good deed goes unpunished"
That is what happened to you ..I am sorry it did not work out for your friend but they should have known better than take the competiton with them.
Just put it down to life's little experiences. This is how we learn.
2007-03-23 00:13:18 · answer #6 · answered by commonsense2265 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your friend didn't really want the job and knew that his cousin did. You offered him a gift and he accepted it. It's not up to you to decide whether he puts that gift on his coffee table or wraps it up and gives it to Aunt Ethel for Christmas. Once you've give it, it's out of your hands.
2007-03-23 00:12:33 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Maybe he felt his cousin needed the job more than he...Stop fretting, if he was OK with it, you should be too.
2007-03-23 00:13:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a dork he defiantly let's opportunity's pass him by
2007-03-23 00:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋