i don;t understand why won't he have sex with me???

Question

I am 22 weeks pregnant and my fiance won't have sex with me. It has been 10 days since the last time we have had sex and he doesn't even touch me. I have tried telling him that i need to know that he still wants me and that i need to feel attractive even tho i have gained some weight because i am pregnant. I have tried putting the moves on him and he just pushes me away. Every day for the last week i have cried myself to sleep because i just don't get it. He also says that we can't have sex the way he used to and that he is bored. I think that is just a lame excuse and there is more that he is not telling me. the longer we go without having sex i feel like he doesn't want me anymore. He doesn;t even cuddle with me anymore either. what do i do...i don't deserve to be treated this way and im so confused...someone please give me some advice

I have also tried telling him that it is not just sex that i want, i want that feeling of intimacy. I asked him last night when we could have sex and he said i don't know im just not in the mood. Since the last time we had sex, last night was the first time i had brought it up. i am hurting so bad and i don;t think he seems to care. I said to him tonight im going downstairs if u would like to join me and he came down and fell asleep. I never implied that i was going to bed but i got shot down again. I am constantly shoved aside for weed and a PS2 hockey game. He should be flattered that i want him so bad but he is just annoyed

He gives me no reason to think that he is messing around he works(with my dad btw) and he is home so i don;t think that is the problem

There was also a time not to long ago that he told me pregnant women turn him on and i called him on that last night and he had nothing to say. i also said to him that he should get all the sex he can from me now cuz by the time im like 7 mths im not gonna want it anymore and all he had to say was that would bother me why????

Answer 1

This happened with my husband at about the same point in two pregnancies. He's feeling awkward about it and maybe he is bored. Try something different that is still safe and maybe that will help.
I got handcuffs and flavored lubes during my second pregnancy and that made a huge difference. It got him interested again when he realized that maybe we couldn't do some things we did before, but we could always try new things.

Answer 2

You sound like a young couple, not that that is bad. But if this is his first child it may be fear. If he is a younger man and has not had the responsibility of a child before it could be a few things. One the fear of taking care of a family, two the fear that he could possibly hurt the baby (yes men fear that lol) but won't say it because they don't want to feel stupid . Then there is the third which depends on his maturity level, if he thinks this baby in any way is going to be the center of attention and he no longer will be , this can cause jealousy,and for some people that are not very mature it's really hard on them and they resent you and the child .So basically summing all that up try to be patient with him. Mabey try to pry what he is really feeling out of him.

Answer 3

Your fiance is worried that he might do something wrong with you being 22 weeks pregnant or hurting the baby, if this is you and his first pregnancy that's is the answer I can come up with, being a Father of nine children I was the same way with my wife's first pregnancy, but after reading up on it and talking with the Doctor, I was told it's okay to have intercourse up to the day before giving birth, this relaxes both you and your partner, so if I was you I would advise your fiance to read up on this so both of you can enjoy each others love making.

Answer 4

It's very common for some men to lose interest. Between thinking they will hurt the baby, to the thought of having sex with their kids mother sometime it just isn't there. You need to give him time, he will come around again.

Fact is 10 days is not that long during a pregnancy.

Answer 5

I went through something similar...and I'll be honest, just slow down. The pregnancy weight may be forcing him to realize that there is an actual human being inside of you and it may be freaking him out. It sounds stupid to say, but it took my husband seeing my belly getting bigger for it to actually sink in: We're having a baby!

I honestly think that your fiance is probably just a little overwhelmed (as are you) and may need some space. He'll eventually come around.

But, if you are THAT anxious, you can always wait until he goes to sleep and wake him up with a midnight BJ...worked for me!

Answer 6

He's probably freaked out right now about a lot of things-impending fatherhood, afraid to hurt the baby, afraid to hurt your feelings by telling you how he's feeling. TELL him you are afraid too, and that you need him right now, and how it makes you feel when he doesn't want to hold you-talk more about intimacy and closeness than sex, some men just don't find pregnant women sexually attractive but won't say so because they don't want to hurt their pregnant partner's feelings. Ask him to hold you and if he won't, seek counseling. Go alone if he won't go with you. There's a lot up in the air right now. Good luck.

Answer 7

sounds like he's one of these piece of sh*t men that everything centers around him and since ur not exactly in the condition to do all the things u use to do he feels sorry for himself if u can imagine that he needs to grow up be a man and take care of u when u need him the most instead of actiing like a spoiled little child that cant have his way and yes ur right u deserve much better than that but believe me there are men out there that's not like that at all

Answer 8

You can't do anything until you get a true answer out of him. Tell him if he's bored then why is he still with you, there must be another reason. Guy's sometimes like to beat around the bush until you beat the information out of them (excuse the pun). Truth can only help your relationship in this situation. Don't try to change yourself just to please him, this is the 21st century and women aren't just servents to men anymore.

Answer 9

Is he cheating on you? Look for any warning signs and talk to him to see what is bothering him. You don't deserve to be treated like this and after the baby comes, things will be even more complicated. He may just not feel comfortable having sex with you because you are pregnant and he may fear something will happen to harm the baby.

Answer 10

What a **** . I hate to say this but he may be messing around. If he is DO NOT have sex with him. As he could catch an STD and pass it on to you and possibly your child when it is born.There is no way he could hurt the baby , its well protected by the cervix right now.Ask him what all is wrong and tell him to just spill it. Or have his mom or a family member speak to him.

Could be the pot too. sometimes it makes people horny , sometimes it makes them sleepy. Does he have morning wood? Does he wake and bake ? If he has wood and does not wake and bake try to hit it then.