Do you like my poem?

Question

A lost horizon
Sun bleached
Arid sky
Hazy days
Tequila blues.

Serenade in the evening
The gray silhouette
focus and destination
places you'll never forget
Tequila blues.

Smoke filled rooms
In desperate need for company
drunken in dusty pavement
one peso for your smile
Tequila blues

Single filed and stones
cold eyes and moonstone
vague memories of events
whether dreamed or not
Tequila blues.



I wrote it while on vacation in Mexico, 15 years ago...

what do you think??

for those whom are curious about what this poem is about...

I was walking one night with a few friends in a seedy part of town... there were prostitutes (both male and female) everywhere. We walked down this street that had a fog lingering about these people.. like a dark cloud that wouldn't leave them alone.. And i saw a loneliness on their faces... it was so eerie to me, that I just couldn't get those people out of my mind.....

that was my inspiration for this poem.. it really had nothing to do with me... just how I felt about the circumstance of these people...

Answer 1

Excellent!!!!!!
Great use of phrasing!!!!!!!
Metaphorical, personificational and similes used!!!!!! That's what I like!!!!!!!!!!!
Very realistic. Paints a picture in your mind. Maybe you should think about entering a poetry comp!!!!!!!!
Just fix up the first verse a little by lengthening some lines. It could be a winner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very, very well done. Definitely the best one I've seen so far.

Answer 2

I like it... I often write poems myself... what
was your inspiration for this poem? Just being in Mexico? Or were you feeling some kind of feeling that you needed to get out? I often write just to express my feelings in a more positive way. You are very talented I think. Keep up the good work.

Answer 3

Ok honesty is key in poetry. It kind of confused me because only two lines in it rhymed. I felt like maybe it came from a night of being blue due to too much tequila hence the "tequila blues". Over all I liked it, but it didn't seem like a poem at all, but more rambling. Maybe it's just a form of poetry I haven't written. Sorry if I upset you by this review, but it is a nice piece of writting.

Answer 4

For me a poem has to have rhythm. It does not always need to rhyme but it surely demands to hit my feelings. I believe readability of expression is predominant as good. I do not love to moment bet what I'm studying approximately. I continuously appear for what I time period "poetic gem stones"within the textual content.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, I don't know much about poetry, but I like it. It has good descriptions of things that make me feel almost like I was there - and especially so, because one can relate to them. From what little I know about poetry, it should not make me feel an emotion, but make me understand a situation or place.

Answer 6

well it did make me think of my uncle budgie ,back in 1994. yes it made me think when he was in the hospital in d t s.seeing people hanging there self and things on the cieling in the pitch dark .teguilla blues. he also died of sorosis of the liver. teqilla blues . do good id hate to kill a talent of yours sorry thats just them old tequilla day blues springing up .. i hope answered your question with honesty .the old teqilla blues.

Answer 7

I think you have captured those feelings quite well.


your poem has a lot of good literary flow.

love the poem!


Well done.

Answer 8

I like it, I have never been to mexico but i want to go. It makes you feel lonely, no offence.
But over all i Love it!

Answer 9

Nice. You seem to have a great grasp your emotions. Pickup the pen again.

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Answer 10

I like your poem it is very good