I went out with this guy for 1 year and I was in LOVE with him.
He cheated on me.
Now about a year since we broke up and I have a new boyfriend (which I adore =] )
I've had other boyfriends and I've had the same issue with all of them.
So everytime anybody calls me his girlfriend or says his name I get this really anxious feeling in my stomach. Maybe it's I really like him but I think I'm so paranoid that he's just using me, or he doesn't really like me. (Very contrary to what people/him/ have been telling me)
I've lost my trust in guys! (I'm still in highschool so I have to see them everyday ya know? Never 'well there are other fish in the sea' thing. My school is rather small.)
I have no feelings for me ex but I hurt me so bad. How do I get over that stomach feeling?
It's really hard for me to get close with guys now. Which is what I really want.
Is there anything I can do to gain trust back?
2007-03-22 16:13:22 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Haha very bad typos in the last few paragraphs sorry about that.
2007-03-22 16:15:07 · update #1
The best thing that helped me get over a painful college romance was to remember the worst part and the break-up. Whenever I heard the right song or started romanticizing with old memories, I made a Conscious Effort to Remind Myself he was not who I thought he was and it was a false relationship. I am so glad I knew he was unfaithful and deceitful. Had I stayed with him he would have wrecked my whole life. All of it.
You are missing the emotions you had with him when you thought you were in love. You don't miss the guy that cheated on you and lied to you Honey, you miss love. All women miss that first big love, but we don't miss the men who hurt us.
You can find that emotion again in your future with a man who is loyal and truthful. I wish I could do that again, but life goes on and you can live it for yourself. Rejoice in your youth and your strength. And take a lot of pictures. Much love Hon. @8-)
2007-03-22 16:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by Dovey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-05-07 17:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by Pauline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to the guy you are seeing and tell him what is happening. Let him know that while you are like him, after the bad experiences, you want to take it slow and see what happens.
Remember Trust is earned, not given. It does not happen over night and will take a while.
You are young and just finding out what it is like to be in a dating situation. There is nothing written down that says you have to have boyfriend at this stage. I would think that you should consider him a "good friend" and leave it at that. That way you two can things together as friends, earn each other's trust and take it from there.
If you have a school counselor, ask to him or her about it. That is what they are there for. If you go to church, ask to talk to the pastor and ask for advice. There is no need to feel you should handle this alone, especially at this time in your life.
2007-03-22 16:55:27 · answer #3 · answered by Terk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually queezy stomach feelings come from an unresolved issue and maybe you feel "stabbed in the gutt" by this one particular guy. Who walked away or hung up on who? LOts of issues go unresolved and relations break when one of the 2 happens. Now you feel ALL guys must now earn your trust because you had a bad experience. Remember your still in H.S. and you still have much of growing up and experiencing fun, difficult teen life dealing with even more complex issues than this one. Maybe the lesson here is that you cant resolve EVERY unresolved issue; by now it's probably not worth it anyway.
2007-03-22 17:11:35 · answer #4 · answered by element_op 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess in your case you have to enjoy what you have for what it is and then learn the lesson and move on. If you see these traits in another boyfriend, take heed. You probably hate hearing this, but you are really young and even though boys never really grow up, cheating is really common in high school (not that it's ever ok). Breakups will always be hard, but make sure you focus on the positive things in your life to keep perspective - and when you feel that anxiety come up, just let it flow on it's way and it will get less.
2007-03-22 16:25:03 · answer #5 · answered by HerbGal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing you can do to gain you trust back is not easy to trust anyone until you really understand them.
I am sorry to said that you had bad memory with guys because you have trusted the wrong one.
Hope will find out someone reliable soon and that one will help you gain your trust
2007-03-22 16:31:23 · answer #6 · answered by NPD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over it and go ahead.
you need trust on yourself and on them.
everything arrives at right time just wait and you'll see
2007-03-22 16:30:24 · answer #7 · answered by michael scofield 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont. It only gets worse.
2007-03-22 16:18:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jay-V-Dub 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋