Can anyone help and explain?

Question

Okay I asked questions similar to this one probably close to two months ago. But I'm asking again because it's a little different scenario. Ok my mom died when I was 8 I'm 15 now. She died of a brain tumor. She had the effects of a brain tumor for a little over two years making mine and my families’ life pretty hard. Well last year we had some neighbors move in that are affecting me. Well not them in particular but their mother. She is the kind of mother that I have always dreamed that my mother would be like as I got older. She takes her girls (10 and 12) shopping at least once a month. Gives them small surprises every once in awhile. Just does all the motherly things that I have missed out in my life. I get jealous when I am around her. Sometimes it just feels like I want to sit down and talk. But I don't want to bring it up, I want her to figure it out for herself, but I know that it won't happen. I get so jealous of her girls sometimes that I just leave their house and don't visit

Again for weeks at a time. Recently it was her birthday and I wanted so bad to go over there and say happy birthday to her, but eventually chickened out. I'm not sure why. Also I got jealous because the night before her birthday her children went out to buy her birthday presents and it made me realize that I'm not able to buy birthday presents for my mom. Mothers Day hasn't come yet with them living next to me, but I'm sure it will be a lot harder then it has been in the past because Mother's Day has always been hard on me especially in the elementary school where the teachers had us make Mother's Day gifts. I want to know why I feel this way and maybe what should I do about it?

I live with my dad and two brothers

Ok I have completely given up on "PRAYING" it doesn't make a difference. I've been praying for months now and NOTHING has happened.

She is always offering to go into town with her daughters but I almost always turn her down, I don't know why but I do

Answer 1

You need to read about the stages of greif. The last stage is acceptance, and it sounds like you have not fully accepted your mothers death. This is understandable, since you were such a young child, therefore not able to really deal with it. This new neighbor has caused you to be forced to deal with things that you were previously too young to understand. Accpetance is the key, you need to work on accepting that your mother is gone, and come to peace with that in your soul. This is probably the best thing that could have happened to you to force you into what you need to deal with, but you could turn it into a negative thing if you let that jealousy rule you. I don't think you will though, you have recognized and admit it, that is a huge step in itself, and very mature.

God Bless You!!

Answer 2

First of all, I am sorry about the loss of your mom. I know how hard that must be. I totally agree with lyllan...I know that you feel jealous and that is very normal. I was extremely close with my grandma and great grandmas. They were like my other mothers. When they passed away, I was sooo jelaous whenever I would see people with their grandmas. It's tough! You should talk to your neighbor's mom and let her know that if she was available you would love to chat with her sometimes and talk about girl stuff. And I think she would be honored too. Maybe if she knows that you would like to talk more then they may even invite you to go shopping sometimes and do some things with them.

Do you have an Aunt or cousin that you can do things with? I think it would be really good for you to have some "girl time" with someone. If not, have you considered volunteering anywhere? I know it sounds silly, but there are a lot of people to meet through volunteering and even at things like church groups. There are a lot of programs that offer "mentors" so they would match you up with a woman that you can talk to about anything. You should look into that. Best of luck to you!

Answer 3

im sorry to hear about your mom. you can either make gifts for you mom on mothers day and take a collection or make them for yur neighbors mom..i know shes not your mom, but shes still a mom too. send her a card and tell her she feels like a mother to you..or if there is some other mother you feel comfortable talking to or being around. i agree that you need a female figure in your life and if shes as great as you speak of..i dont see her having a problem helping you out or inviting you over to play with her girls...give it a try

Answer 4

im sorry. i havent lost my mom, so...i wouldnt know how you feel. But my dad is pretty old, so i know that death is inevitable for him(n all of us) and in some ways im just trying to spend more time with him. But, if i were you I would spend time with you father and two bros and tellm you love them every day. I think you need some sorta therapy as well, or someone to just open up your feelings to. I think you shouldnt be shy, and jus like chill in your front lawn and if she comes out to do gardening or something, just wave to her and say hello. "weathers lookin great today dontcha think?" spark some sorta conversation. you cud invite her and her two daughters over for dinner. i think jealousy is unhealthy and wont benefit you at all. your jealous of something youl never have ever again. except your father could remarry, but im pretty sure it wont be the same. be happy that you are alive and do something with your life. Become a neurologist or neurosurgeon, help others who have the same health issues that ur mom had.

Answer 5

I'm sorry and i admire you because you lost your mom and you are been strong I'm in the same situation when it comes to grandparents, my 2 grandparents and 2 grandmother died when i was a little boy, actually my grandpa ( dad of my mom ) die when my mom was 6 months or so, so she never met him. When i see other kinds with their grandparents i get jealous too. but i know losing a mother is much more painful and I'm really sorry and i just wanna go and give you a Big hug.

Answer 6

It's normal to miss your mom so much and look for a surrogate. Go talk to her anyway. You on't want to come off as a stalker but just let her know that you would like to know that you can come talk to her about girl things sometimes. Hopefully she will be flattered and understanding.

Answer 7

well, you lost your mother, so its normal to feel jealous of other kids(especially girls). and if i had lost my mom, i would feel the exact same way. its not fair, and people shouldnt have to deal with that, but it happens. and ive seen a lot of stuff on tv about how kids keep there feelings bottled up inside about this stuff, and its not good. so talk to someone about it. it really does help. =]]

Answer 8

whew what a position your in sweet heart listen your 15 now and have dealt with this very good for a long time i wish i could be that strong . please do yourself a favor go and talk to the lady next door i am sure that she will give you the biggest hug in the entire world you have stood up for yourself for a long time . it is o.k to lean on others once in a while p.s please don't be afraid and let me know how it works out

Answer 9

You have a void in your life. Unfortunately you mother is gone. Pray!!! Pray, and I guarantee if your mother is with God you will hear her and you will realize that she is still with you.