she left me with the kids.....how do i cope witht he 9month year olds(twins)?

Question

i have been with my wife for 5years we got married a year ago as she got pregnant.
she had a very difficult pregnancy and after delivering 2 wonderful girls she decided sho would not be able to take the stress anymore.she left to her country in africa,leaving the twins all alone in the house while i was at work.she has really hurt me, but i do understand it can be really difficult for a new mother esp in a foreign country and a foreign partner.it is not completely behind me.i still hurt and feel that i could have done something to prevent this.but the twins are my main concern at the momment.my company has been very helpful and made me work from home.but it is not easy.
though i am coping at the momment, i dont see myself coping for a long time. they are only 9months old and i know things will get difficult after a while. I need a woman in my life but i am still married to the twins mum and cannot be unfaithful to her.what do i do?

Answer 1

Sounds like you are in a bind. What you need to do is divorce you wife. It is a shame when a mother doesn't bond with her children that she can just up and leave like that. You main concern like you said are these kids. You need to see if there is any assistance that can help you. Not state, but check in your community about daycare, and any kind of offering of help. You will be able to get through this because of your children. Good Luck

Answer 2

hats off to you,being a single parent is hard.i am sorry to hear that so much pain came to you in what is suppose to be one of the happiest times in your life.i too am a single parent of 6,my last pregnancy being twins.a boy and girl.i don't think anyone can tell you how to cope with the stress of being a single parent.i think that it will kinda fall into place for,make no mistake it isn't an easy journey to embark on.it will be a fulfilling experience.as for needing a woman it sounds like you already have 2 women.it's very important to your sanity to make sure you still make time for yourself,so i hope you have a great support system.if you don't you might trying finding some single parent groups in your community.they will also help teach you coping skills.GOODLUCK.!

Answer 3

I understand your having a hard time right now but trust me u do not need a woman to raise your children. Get a housekeeper, or nanny. to come into your house and help you out for a few hours a day. Do the best you can and rely on your support systems, talk to people when you need some advice or help, dont keep it inside its not good. I would get into some coucilling and try and work this situation out! Good luck

Answer 4

HI, have you thought that she may have post natal depression. It could be that all she needs is a little time away, but i think she needs to seek help.

If she had a difficult pregnancy, then that is another reason to suspect PND.

Have you tried contacting her? I would. Tell her ho you feel and how you aer coping.

It was def not right to leave the kids at home by themselves and leave. That is a no, no.

She needs help, and may be you too.

I would ask your family and friends for help at this time. Dealing with one baby is hard but two, wow.

Good luck

Carla

Answer 5

Do you have family? Right now you need your Family. If she can not handle being with her children then it may have been a good thing she left. I know that hurts but if she doesn't like being with the kids then in the long run she might start hurting them. She has already hurt them by leaving them home alone. I know your hurt but you have to be stronger for the baby's their more important then she will ever be. Any one can give birth but not all can be mothers.

Answer 6

I would not even think about adding a "mother" in their life right now. Maybe your wife will come back, maybe not. What I would do is find a reputable nanny or sitter to help you deal with the stresses. If your wife had done that, maybe she wouldn't have buckled under the pressure. Remember, God will not give you more than you can handle in life. You and those girls will be ok!

Answer 7

my personal feelings i would file for devorce and get her rear end put in jail for abandonment. Those children could have been hurt while you were at work. Right now you do not need to bring another mother in these childrens lives. maybey a nanny to help around the house but not another mother. You can do this there are lots of people who raise their children on their own. and some of these people are rasing twins on their own. you can do it. :)

Answer 8

First, take care of the babies. File for divorce and ask for sole custody. Find some help, a neighbor, friend, nanny or daycare. I don't know where you are but you probably qualify for some single parent assistance. Don't be too proud, single fathers need as much help as single moms!!

Next, if you have contact with your ex(or her family), try to make sure she is seeking help. This sounds like post partum depression to me! I very well could be wrong, but if not she could be in danger herself.

After that, you will be in a better position to look for someone to share your life with. Don't look for a mother for your girls, you can raise them by yourself, it is not easy, but it is done! One day those girls will grow up and be gone, you need to find someone for you. When you find the right woman, she will love those girls because they are part of you. You can trust me on that, because my husband raised three kids by himself for 3 years. Now they are mine, too. We love those kids dearly, but we love each other, too, and that makes a happy home.

Answer 9

Get a divorce. Personally i would find her and have her put in jail for abandonment. You don't leave 2 infants alone, i don't care how stressed out you are.

Answer 10

Ask your parents for help.She is probably having post-pardom depression and she will most likely change her mind.If you married her, you had to love her right?So why think about cheating even though she is gone?