i feel so sorry for my fren i'm not sure how to console her she has been very loyal to him n he yells at her to stay away frm tht biacth n not hurt her n blames its all my frenz fault....
she been crying the whole night i feel terrible abt her situation wht can she do?? they hv a 11mth old baby togather n she doesnt wanna divorce thinking of the baby's future
anyone wit the same experience care to share ur side of the story maybe i can advice her something or anything
tq so much
2007-03-22 16:06:01 · 11 answers · asked by ♥ Sunshine ♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's great that you are such a caring friend honey, but in all honesty, the best thing you can do is just be her shoulder to cry on. If you give bad advice she'll resent you for it, and until you know what she plans to do (one way or the other) it's best just to be there for her. She's going to embark on an emotional roller coaster that is beyond words. This was an affair, which means he has feelings for this other woman. On top of that he told your friend to leave her alone...which sort of proves that to be true. I know it's easier being the person on the outside looking in, but you have to realize her entire world just came crashing down around her. All those hopes and dreams she had of having that "perfect" family just came to screaching hault. There are no words of comfort for that. At this point she feels that nobody understands her. Truth is, I do. I was cheated on about eight years ago. I had three children then and was pregnant when I found out. It's something that is devastating, life altering and no matter what anyone says, she has to be true to her heart. The bad thing about that...is that at this stage, even she doesn't know what she wants. After you endure something like that, you go through stages. She's in the beginning. She's hurt, she's desperate to make it work. But then will come the anger, the resentment, after that comes denial about the reality of it, and later down the road, reality sinks in and you are right back at ground zero. When she's ready to accept it for what it is, then she will be ready to fully move on...but she's a long way away from that yet sweetie. SO be patient, kind and always give a nuetral opinion. Make her laugh alot...she's going to need it. She's lucky to have a friend like you.
2007-03-22 16:24:32 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being a good friend to let her cry on your shoulder. But you really can't help her solve this problem. And you shouldn't interfere because it could come back to bite you later on if they get back together. Do not give her advice. Just be sympathetic and let her vent with you and be a good listener. She has to make her decisions for herself. If she is thinking of the baby's future, she should want that child not to be raised in a house where the father cheats on the mother. So, divorce may be her BEST option, with him paying child support. Let the situation calm down and see what this guy does. If he is remorseful and sorry and comes back to her, maybe they can work things out. If not, then he didn't love her anyway, and she deserves better.
2007-03-22 16:15:30 · answer #2 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her to start making plans to get the heck outta that situation. He not only fools around on her, but he sounds extremely abusive. If she's taking care of an 11 month old baby, while he's being unfaithful, there's something wrong with this whole picture.
Tell her that this kind of relationship is not worth saving for any reason. If he's that abusive now, blaming HER for him fooling around, then what's it going to be like later? Is he going to run out every time there's a fight and find another woman?
If he cared, he'd be kissing her feet right now, and apologizing for doing something so dumb. Maybe then and only then might she consider forgiveness - but to blame her? That's abuse! Buh Bye!
2007-03-22 17:02:40 · answer #3 · answered by Plexed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've got in no way caught my guy...do not probable opt to the two. My bait is designed for a distinctive species... IF there is any seriousness in any respect to the Q then i'm very sorry, Kiddo *hug* merely approximately forgot. around Up is a especially reliable kind...
2016-11-28 00:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm only 10 but my sister is 21 and they have a 6 month old baby.My sis was looking through her hubby's e-mail and she saw that he was on true.com.She told my mom,dad,and me.She got so mad at him.She didn't tell him that she saw it because he has a disorder when he gets mad real easy and she was scared she might get hurt.It's ok.I didn't now what to do either.
P.S. I would give you a chocolate fudge brownie but i can't e-mail it to you.Hope that made you happy! Love, Hotstuff!
2007-03-22 16:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by hotstuff 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
SOUNDS LIKE HE CARES MORE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE WAS CAUGHT WITH THAN YOUR FRIEND. IF SO, HE WILL KEEP DOING IT. WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, SO IF HE IS SORRY AND WANTS TO WORK IT OUT, THEN IT IS POSSIBLE. BUT YOUR FRIEND CAN NOT ENDURE THAT FOREVER IF HE WILL KEEP DOING IT, SHE MIGHT AS WELL GET OUT NOW, WHILE SHE IS YOUNG AND THE BABY WILL NOT BE AS AFFECTED AS MUCH AS HE WOULD IF HE WAS OLDER.
2007-03-22 16:14:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends if the man just had a one night stand or he's in love with this women....that changes a lot the situation...
2007-03-22 16:11:31 · answer #7 · answered by Juliet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advise her to separate from him for awhile and build up her self-esteem. Take care of her kid and find herself, outside of their relationship, again. This will make her stronger. Then, she can decide if she wants this LOSER.
2007-03-22 18:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by bahjij6 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on or whatever. Tell your friend hes not worth it cut his thing off.(not really) don't want to go to jail
2007-03-22 16:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by monapepper 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is too classic. What's the matter? Did the friend want to be the one to cheat first?
2007-03-22 16:12:56 · answer #10 · answered by Joe B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋