anyone married to an alcoholic? how much does he/she drink each night?

Question

my husband drinks an average of 15 beers a night.

i was a pot smoker and have stopped, because we were supposed to stop, or atleast cut down our bad habits together. I have pretty much stopped, and he hasn't even cut down! What can i do to get him to stop? Now thatI am sober his drinking is bothering me more and i am seeing that sometimes he can be a real jerk.

he works 6 days a week, provides a safe home for me and our kids. he doesnt abuse me or the kids or anything. i ust want him to stop and take care of himself!

Answer 1

My wife is married to a drunk.

I have been dry since Oct 1970 but I am still a drunk, a dry drunk but a drunk just the same.

Do you have specific questions? I can be reached through my profile and I will respond.

Answer 2

Yes, I have been married to an alcholic for 11 years, I am now seperated and feeling betta for it no amount of telling him to change will work, i have always felt there were 3 in this marriage me him and the beer, he could easily drink 8 tins of 9 percent beer and a bottle of vodka its like having someone else there he seems to love beer more and it takes over, i feel it changes a person although u know there is a good person within when there drinking all day u dont often see that nice person, I suffered abuse and the children would watch and hear it is very hard but u do grow stronger and realise he'll never change and u and the kids our better alone than putting up with the pain and misery of alchol. good luck

Answer 3

My partner is an alcoholic. It's not the amount he drinks that's the problem; it's how it affects him. my partner too is a good man, kind and caring; I don't rely on him financially; I always worked. 15 pints a night is a huge amount of drink; but I know men who go to the pub every night for a pint or two on the way home who are not alcoholics. At one stage, my partner drank a bottle of wine a night, plus 6 to 8 beers - the really big cans, not those little dinky ones - plus two or three whiskey chasers; He was a disaster; he broke things, he left lights on all night; front and back doors open; he was verbally abusive to me, and generally a total slob once it came to evening.
I threw him out of our bedroom -told him I didn't want his disgusting boozy breath in my bed; I left him, briefly; he is a true alcoholic - he denied totally that drink had anything to do with it; we went to counselling; he told the counsellor he didn't know what I wanted; I said "what part of STOP DRINKING do you not understand?"
These days, I just get on with life - MY life. i don't get upset or involved. Strangely, he has cut down remarkably on the boozing. Several nights a week, he will come home sober, AND STAY SOBER. He still drinks, and can polish off a bottle of wine in twenty minutes. It's not how much your hubby drinks; it's how it affects him. If it is changing his personality when he drinks, he's in trouble. Anyway, quite apart from anything else, drinking at that level every day will eventually lead to one of the following;
Gout;
Cirrhosis of the liver, from which there is no recovery;
Liver/kidney failure;
Heart disease;
Diabetes;
Pancreatitis; a severe inflammation of the pancreas, which is painful and life-threatening and caused by alcohol abuse.
Stomach or bowel cancer.
And you will be the one left looking after him.

Answer 4

Not married, but dated one for 5 (off and on) years. How much he drank is indeterminable, since he had bottles hidden all over the apartment. Alcoholism is a progressive disease too, so even though I knew he drank when we met, (as I did, and still do to a point) it got worse and worse, until he was physically dependent on it - he would wake in the middle of the night and sneak swallows of vodka straight from the bottle, couldn't function in the daytime without a drink to control the shaking, etc...
I'm not suggesting that your husband has progressed this far, but his ability to drink so much a night proves his high tolerance for alcohol - most people feel drunkish after 2 to 3 drinks, but I'm sure he feels perfectly normal. Sadly, if you were to check his BAC when he feels "normal", you'd find that he's probably 2 to 3 times the legal limit!
I'm also not suggesting that he drives in this condition, but if he does, he's at a huge risk for DUI, and the laws are getting stricter each year. Unless you have $5000 - $7000 ready to throw away on court and legal fees, it's not worth it.
One thing I learned at AA with my ex, is that you can't make a person get help, unless they want it. Pushing him will only cause resentment and denial. Alcoholics will fight you tooth and nail, if you call them that, when they aren't ready to face it! And if he's not, maybe you can agree to try some limited drinking. If he's able to do that, maybe he doesn't have a problem - maybe he's just let his tolerance get too high, and needs to get it check.
Whatever your outcome, I wish you the best. And congrats to you for kicking your habit! Takes a lot of strength, courage and self-awareness!!!
:-)

Answer 5

My ex would drink when he came home from work.. sometimes a couple of beers.. then he would go off to the pub and drink, I don't know how many.. but I do know it wasn't just beer.. Whiskey chasers and rum and coke usually interspersed with beer.. he'd then come home and finish with a bottle of red wine.. and this was almost every night..

Consequently.. that's why he's now my ex.. he spent all our money and when he wrecked something through a drunken rage he would go buy something new on the credit card.. so we had an enormous bill..

The worst time is when you realise what the saying 'having a skin-full' means I would sometimes wake up in the morning and all I could smell was alcohol coming out of the pores of his skin along with his sweat.

You can't help an alcoholic.. you have to leave them and let them help themselves. If you try to help them, they will take you down with them..

My advice.. get out and live your life.. while he has you to fall back on he will never change.

Answer 6

I lived for 22 years with a drunken and abusive woman and of which was supposed to be my wife and a mother to our two children. She was either, she was just an abusive drunk?
It's not how much they drink, it's the affect it has on them, mine was any excuse "even church" and it involed drink!
But if one drink makes there face twist and distort, there moods change one way or another, there only one thing for it.
Get out before it's to late?
Okay I was stupid, took her back 7 time "yeh 7" and she destroyed everyones lives. I never learned, so hear it from a old fool that for the last 12 years is glad I said "no more" and walked away. Okay the kids were now old enough to look after themselves and with mine she "played away alot and was at the time". But I took 22 (most were) misserible years to realise, so don't end up like many of us.
Cold, bitter, twisted and lacking in trust in another person and fearing that "not the same again"!
hope this helps
If they can not see it or they do not believe it, "you'll never change it" (rule of thumb)
So if it bothers you "have it out now" with them as later one is far to late?

Answer 7

I was married to an alchoholic for 11 years. 12-20 bottles a night. And he will to this day admit that he needs that alchohol in his blood like he needs oxygen. It is a life controlling problem and not you , your kids, noone can make him stop. Only HE can stop cause HE is sick of it. It has no bearing on you, your character, or how good of a wife you are. But this is Your problem as well as his. You have to live with it, make the excuses to family and friends and be his crutch. When beer supply is more important than food or household bills, kids needs, or car inurance and plates ( been there) you need to make your own personal decision as to whether you want to live the rest of your life in the mine field waiting for the next kaboom. Having an income isn't worth the pain and desctruction this can cause. I suggest taking some classes or job training and get your self prepared for a plan "B". cause one day you may have to raise them kids and support yourself ...totally alone. He may be fine now, but so was mine for the first 4 yrs or so,he always drank, but in the beginning, we were young and stupid and it was just fun, then once the kids came along life needed to change and the abuse came in to play once I started asking him to stop.several thousands of dollars towards rehab later and several years, nothing ever changed but him( me too I suppose, I grew stronger). He couldn't controll himself, so he had to control me and when he couldn't do that anymore he got meaner. So be prepared and take the blinders off cause a true alchoholic doesn't see themselves as having a problem, YOU MADE HIM DRINK. its always someone elses fault.then once i was forced into the work force, cause someone had to pay the bills and feed the kids, he resented me for that too. made him look bad to HIS family. He didn't seem to care what Mine thought every month when I needed money from them for food or rent up to that point . OH. and when he tells you he only drinks it for the taste , suggest O'doul's or another non-alchoholic alternative. and if he gets mad whenever you bring up the subject, take that as a warning flag, he has no intentions of quitting.

Answer 8

Yes - upwards of a bottle of whiskey a night, but is very functional like yours. That much beer every night is definitely not any better than the whiskey.

It sounds like there's hope for him though. He just needs more help than you did. Where you could stop on your own, he can't. He needs to join a program of some sort. If he's not willing to go to AA, there are lots of other programs where he can go.

If I were you, I'd research on where he can go in your area and then point him in the direction. If he sees that it's a problem, he will go. If he doesn't, his health will get worse, and your relationship may too. Ultimately, though, it has to be his decision.

Answer 9

yes, i am married to one but he wont admit it, he thinks cause he doesnt drink in a morning that he is ok. he drinks about 8-12 cans a night after drinking maybe 4-6 pints in the pub with his 'mates'. he too is not an abusive husband and treats us both well, however it has not always been like this. he used to be a complete B******D, he would get drunk and accuse me of everything then he got medication from the doctor which made him drink more, apparantly a 'buzz' is reached when prozac and alcohol are mixed... i arent a doc and i dont know if this is true. but is your man on any medication? mine wont go to doc so i cant do anything but watch him drink himself to death

Answer 10

probably not whatyou want to hear, but here are my thoughts
Booze killed my father and (I suspect) my mother.
I am one of 6 children (I'm 45 now)
My eldest brother is one of those guys you see sitting on a wall or at a bus station at 8 in the morning, drinking 10% lager.
The next eldest (a sister) barely drinks.
The next,another sister,is almost never sober.
Next is me. I spend every penny on booze, because I want to.
It's the only thing that stops things hurting( 2 failed marriages, 45 now and no prospects of anything (can't even get it up anymore!
In short, you can't stop him, only he can stop him
if u want more info from me post the same question for next few days and i'll find a way to contact you

Answer 11

Well I'm drinking two bottles of brandy a week and around 24 /36 cans of cider a week so maybe I'm in that bracket but I live alone and its an escape.

If he truly loves you he'll cut down as I lost my family because of the above :( and can't even though I've tryed to quit I cant , make him before its too late ....learn from me :)