Is realy having an affair that bad ?

Question

I HAVE MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE .I'M 32 AND HE'S 35.
THE PROBLEM IS WE ARE BOTH MARRIED AND I HAVE THREE CHILDREN. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
MY HUSBAND IS 20 YEARS OLDER THAN I AND I WAS ALWAYS HOPING FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.WE ARE BOTH VERY CONFUSED BUT DEEPLY IN LOVE ....PLEASE HEALP...

I have told my husband ,but he still insists to repair the marriage

Answer 1

It is bad. It is really bad. If you don't care for your husband then think of your children. You can't lie, cheat, mistreat their father and sneak around and not have it effect them.

If you must be out of the marriage then get out. But be an adult and face up to what you have done.

Talk to your husband. If you still love him then perhpas counselling. If you are set on the new guy then you must end your marriage. It will upset your entire life and that of your children. BUT it isn't fair to be 1/2 a mother while you are out having your fun with the other guy. And it isn't fair to treat a man who you vowed to remain faithful to like that. Is he mean or bad? Maybe but you are the one cheating.

Start acting your age.

Answer 2

I won't give you a morality lesson. You are old enough to know right from wrong. And yes, sometimes you meet the perfectly right person at the perfectly wrong time. Maybe that has happened to you. I don't really know. But, IF this is truly the "forever and ever" guy for you, you OWE your husband honesty and fidelity until you make the decision to leave him. If you choose not to leave, dump the new guy. An affair is a horrible thing to do to someone you love and plan to have a future with. If you decide to leave, mean it and do it. DO NOT drag your husband and children through the pain and agony and drama of a affair. I speak from experience ... My son's father cheated on me and nothing in my life has ever hurt me more than the betrayal of that act. Nothing.

Answer 3

If you both truly love each other, I don't think you would have an affair but you would be honest with your husband and tell him that things aren't working out and you've met someone you feel more compatible with. I think an affair is really that bad as it is so dishonest and is such a break of trust. Anything you do will affect you, your current husband, your children and your lover so give it some thought before you act. Good luck

Answer 4

Having an affair is always a bad thing. It does happen though in some marriages for various reasons. The bad part about it is that it doesn't just affect you and your love interest, it also affects your spouses. If you want this other man(and he wants you) then you should both get divorced to pursue each other. Remember this is also going to affect your kids if they somehow find out what's going on and they don't deserve to be confused either.

Answer 5

You're not in love with your husband? Why did you marry somone you don't love, and then have children with him? You made a commitment to your husband. If you cannot have an honest relationship with him, you no longer have a functional marriage. The right thing to do is to be honest with yourself, and then with your husband, and face up to the consequence, which will likely be divorce, but you need to deal with your marriage before you deal with another relationship.

Answer 6

Uh, yeah. Forget about yourself, but think of what this would do to your husband if he found out...how it would destroy your family. Your kids will be affected, they could end up hating you. The affair does not just affect you, it effects everyone around you. If you aren't happy in your marriage, then tell your husband, get a divorce. Don't live a lie, it's not fair to you or him.

Answer 7

having an affair will hurt everyone in the long run,
especially you. i know, i did it. i was the main victim.
basically you can
1. continue cheating - but it won't last forever
2. leave your spouses and be together
3. stop the affair and concentrate on your marriages
since you've been hoping for this you will probly choose 1 or 2.
an affair like this will take your lives down eventually and has already impacted if not destroyed your marriages. it is dishonest and rude to do this to your spouses. just leave them and be together.

Answer 8

Got a few points to mention. 1st ...you always wanted this to happen? sounds like you were looking for an escape and any man would have filled your void. . 2nd.. your new love....if he is married and doesn't have any children, is he willing to divorce his wife? IF not. then i would wonder if your feelings are one sided and if he is just having a good time on the sly. As far as it being bad, I would say that would be a question your should both ask your spouces.

Answer 9

Yes having an affair is that bad. It's wrong. You made vows to your husband till death do you part.

And relationships born out of adultery don't last. It's been proven in studies.

Keep this in mind, if the grass is greener on the other side, start watering your own lawn.

Meaning if things look better with someone else, start working on your relationship with your husband and make IT stronger instead of going to someone else who's also married to someone else.

Because if you pursue this, your going to ruin 2 marriages, yours and his.

Answer 10

look, point blank. it's not that hard to do. but it's so stressful trying to make time for the affair and trying to cover it up. when i was single i freaked out when i was dating two guys at once. i starting forgetting who i made plans with. i even had an affair with a married man. if he isnt married, this actually makes matters worse. because you will only be squeezing him in your already busy life while you will be all of his. cut your losses and get the divorce. if it's true love, it's worth it.