Lately I've been wanting to make love to my wife, and her sex drive is pretty much non-existant at this point, and I try very hard not to bring up sex with her. We had some issues that have contributed to her lack of sex drive.
I have tried very hard to give her space and not feel like she has to give me sex when I want it. I'm just very frustrated because I want to make love to her, and pleasure her. And she just doesn't want to.
Just curious if even when you don't want to, do you still have sex with your husbands anyways?
I don't want her to feel that she has to just to shut me up. Because I want her to enjoy it as well and not feel that she's only doing it for me.
2007-03-22 15:32:56 · 14 answers · asked by Bryan M 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey iceunderthestars, thanks for the link, I found it very helpful. When I've tried talking with her about my frustration I can never seem to come up with the words to say how I'm feeling and that helped me alot.
Thanks
2007-03-22 16:17:20 · update #1
One of the issues that I believe has contributed to her lack of sexual desire is because I was addicted to porn, and made her feel like she wasn't good enough for me, and made her feel neglected.
Thanks for the answers. I appriciate it.
2007-03-22 16:32:13 · update #2
I'm not married (unofficially engaged), but I've made a sort of promise to myself that I'll do all I can to please my husband, even if that means he wants to make love and I'm not in the mood for some reason. (I know, who knows what will happen after years of marriage and a few kids, but darn it all if I won't write down this promise somewhere and remember it! ^_~)
I don't know if this will help you any, but your question reminded me of this article... http://www.christianitytoday.com/mp/2003/003/10.52.html . (Even if you aren't a Christian there's a lot of good stuff in there.) Good luck with everything! :)
2007-03-22 15:51:42 · answer #1 · answered by iceunderthestars 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, on occasion, I do have sex with my husband when I am not in the mood. Usually once we are in the middle of the act I get in the mood and things continue happily. Our sex drives are approximately the same, his is slightly higher.
I was given a piece of advice many years ago, in my first year of marriage. This was accidental advice, I don't think the lady saying it actually thought I was paying any attention. But she said this, "A wise woman keeps her man satisfied."
I honestly believe that it is a wife's duty AND honor to satisfy her husband. Likewise for the husband to his wife. You satisfy the other to bring satisfaction to yourself. This is NOT to say that a woman should have sex with her husband at his every whim! But, not deny him just because she can.
After all in marriage you turn to each other for sex and physical affection, if your spouse won't (not can't - there is a difference) then what are you left with? That's right, your left with yourself, and that will only sate one for so long.
Some men and women don't masturbate (yes, there are a few who don't, and no I am not one of them) and then their only outlet for sexual release and satisfaction is their spouse. If their spouse won't allow normal sexual relations (in some form or another) then what kind of marriage is that? I think it is quite a cruel thing for a spouse to do to a person they claim to love.
2007-03-22 23:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never turned down my husband. Cause even if I'm not in the mood at first I know I will be once we start so I never regret doing it. Besides it keeps our relationship fun and spontaneous and it's the best thing to do after a fight.
2007-03-22 23:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by blessed mommy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on what the issues youve had that are contributing to her lack of drive. she may have a really good reason for not wanting to be with you. Everyone does it at times they just are not into it because our partners needs are important and you need to take care of them. Maybe you need to give her time if your issues are really huge
2007-03-22 22:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by sugar 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You bet! Women should never hold anything from their man when it comes to meeting their needs in that area. It is part of the package in being married. Plus, when not in the mood, I become in the mood!
You may need to try different ways to getting her in that mood. I am sure once you find that, she may think differently.
I would recommend you getting her this book called, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands". Good book!
2007-03-22 23:03:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
well...you are on the right path. find out why she may not be in the mood. i know the quickest way to turn off a woman is by telling her no only once. i'm the type of person if you tell me no once....i will never ask you again. i never say no to my husband. i have no reason to.
2007-03-22 22:51:13 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yep, whenever he wants it, even if I'm in the pissiest mood, or just don't feel like doing anything. She should do it for you, that's what marriage is all about. Giving to your spouse, and being considerate of their feelings, and needs.
2007-03-22 22:38:22 · answer #7 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes, most women do even when dating. You said you 'had' some issues. She has not gotten over them, so until she does she will not want to have sex with you.
2007-03-23 00:00:29 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. Queen 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have to say that I do agree even when I'm not in the mood.
2007-03-22 23:13:40 · answer #9 · answered by country girl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, unfortunately I do it all the time, to keep the peace!
2007-03-22 22:37:05 · answer #10 · answered by psa73 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋