I know this guy who's a really great person. He's really quiet and private though. So he doesn't talk about himself much. He's into dancing and he writes poetry, dresses with style... might lead one to think that he's gay. But no one knows. What's the best way to ask him? I guess I'm curious because he's such a nice guy, he'd be a great catch for either gender. If I wasn't spoken for I'd be interested....
2007-03-22 15:24:46 · 15 answers · asked by L T 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Why does it matter? Well, if he's gay I probably shouldn't recommend him to my girlfriends as a great single guy.
2007-03-22 15:29:58 · update #1
He doesn't hit on anyone at the clubs. Mostly he dances with the girls that he knows and seems really shy about talking to strangers. Which is odd since he's such an awesome dancer.
2007-03-23 10:47:12 · update #2
I actually have been in a similar situation up until now. I asked a question just last week about being confused about my guy friend. I speculated that he was gay, but was too nervous to ask him. He talked about the types of girls that he was into and gave me reasons why he wouldn't date them. I figured that if he was gay then he would come out to me and if he wasn't then I was wrong.
Today, he came out to me. And it was such a relief because now I can be myself and so can he. You could ask him, but he might not answer truthfully. He either isn't gay, isn't comfortable to tell you, or doesn't realize it and is speculating it himself. In my case, I'm only the second person he has come out to and was sworn not to repeat. I'm only telling here to answer your question.
The best thing you can do is befriend him and get to know him for who he is. Being gay is just a part of you and isn't the whole you, so to speak. Who knows... he might not be gay. Just because a guy writes poetry and dresses with style doesn't make him gay. I actually know a few straight men that do both! Today's society has these "norms" that if you don't fit into them, your automatically "gay" or "straight". Instead of labeling, get to know him and see what happens... you might be surprised:)
2007-03-22 19:36:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
show him this post. I wouldn't be offended the way you just phrased it here.... Tell him in the same way.
Hey, you're smart, dress really nice, like dancing and poetry... I think that you're attractive, "you'd be a great catch for either gender"... so which are you into?
Just say, I don't want to offend you... but in this day and age, you never can be sure....
Just make sure he doesn't think you're saying he looks like he's a flaming queen.... just that most straight guys don't have such a good sense of style and art. So you think he's either an enlightened straight man, or possibly not straight.
2007-03-22 15:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by mattorodinku 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just assume that he's straight. Ask him what sort of girls he is into. If he can give you a convincing description of his "type" then he might not even be gay at all.
If his answer seems loaded with BS, then either he's lying about his type or his sexuality. He may be in the closet.
If he's secure in his homosexuality, he may be able to let you know that he swings for the other team.
I'm willing to bet that he's not gay though; probably effeminate.
2007-03-22 15:33:46 · answer #3 · answered by jermaine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There isnt really an inoffensive way to ask a guy if he is gay.
A guy can dress with style and not be gay.
Suggest him to your friends and let them find out.
You should be able to tell if you are out at a club, is he hitting on guys or girls ?
2007-03-22 15:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by mark 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're essentially interested because you want to know who to pimp him out to (and I"m not saying that offensively, much as it might sound like it), I'd check with him. Tell him there's this girl you know who you think would really be into him. If he turns that down, then at very least you know he's not interested in being set up. And, really, that settles the issue.
2007-03-22 15:53:07 · answer #5 · answered by Atropis 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very simple, just ask him if he has a girlfriend. If he is gay he would tell you. If he answer no maybe he is not gay. You may have a chance.
2007-03-22 15:41:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a million) end using Myspace as a ability by ability of which to learn approximately somebody. 2) Spend greater time with him. additionally, bisexual men tend to no longer be effeminate. He might greater probable be a closet-gay.
2016-10-01 08:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're at the mall, and a FINE looking chick walks by, say something like "Holy $%#@, look at that smokin' body."
If he says something like "I'd rather look at Clay Aiken." then he's gay.
2007-03-22 15:49:20 · answer #8 · answered by Repeat Offender 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him if he'd like to meet a nice girl and see what his reaction is.
2007-03-22 15:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by strgoddss 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could always look him straight in the eye and solemnly ask him "Pardon me, but do you have any Gay Poupon? "
Alright, quit laughing but who says it wouldn't work?
2007-03-22 15:32:26 · answer #10 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋