I am gay and my girlfriend has 4 kids, we fight about kids the ways we handle kid issues what do I do?

Question

She thinks that I am to hard and I pick, but I just feel like it is them vs me.

Answer 1

Discuss the details of child-rearing with your girlfriend. It might be better for YOU to try to be likable and let your girlfriend be the "bad guy" sometimes with the disciplining. Encourage your honey to take control of that department and keep some order in the home. Don't be a meany because you don't want them to resent you. Tell your girlfriend to take the reins a little more often and find a compromise. If she allows you to have a say, then go ahead. Tell her to let her children know they are to respect you. She must back you up and be a team.

Answer 2

That happens in a lot of relationships where one has kids and one doesn't.
I would suggest sitting down with her, if you are living together, and make rules of what you both will put up with, from the kids and from each other.
Kids can be very hard to take in a relationship, and if she lets them, can be the downfall.
Think if you want to stay in the relationship if you can't resolve it.
They are her kids, she will need to handle them, and make them realize they have to respect you as an adult.

Answer 3

Its kind of hard to answer your question, just the fact that those kids are not yours, they are your girlfriend kids. All i can said is that its very important to have communication with your partner. Communication its the key for success. Have you ever watch the TV show, Super Nanny on ABC. Both of you should watch it together. She would learn a lot from the show and maybe agree more with you. Good luck

Answer 4

You have absolutely no business disciplining anyone else's children. You are a stranger to them; you're not their mother or father. You need to stay the hell out of that relationship. With regards to her kids, your mouth should never open. This rule applies to gays, straights, step parents, etc. It's no different than walking up to a kid in the grocery store and telling him to stop whining. If you don't like what they do, tell the mother. If it's ok with her, decide if you can live with it or move on. That's your choices. Only she decides how they will behave.

Answer 5

I can see how you are overwhelmed, especially if you have just stepped in the role. You need to support your girlfriend and let her make the decisions and back her up when nessesary. You need to try to makes friends with the children, preferably on a one to one basis. Your girlfriend is probably finding this just as hard as you are. find some time to sit down with her, and make sure that you are both on the same ballfield as far as her children are concerned

Answer 6

Don't fight, especially in front of the kids. You guys definitely need to get on the same page. Counseling in this area would greatly help. Kids don't need to see the inconsistency. They will use that against you too if they see holes in your "defense"!!

Answer 7

this is normal for any couple...

its normal as you both have your own opinion..and sometimes you have to compromise...ease up..children always get raised and I too was a little hard on my step children...but that because that is how i was raised..so i learned to lighten up and life can become easier between the two of you..its not easy to be a parent..parents always have a thankless job..??right

Answer 8

Their not your kids, you have no say in their upbringing. If you can't stay out of it, move on. Her kids come first to her always, as it should be. You'll be happier in a relationship where no kids are involved (as "competition").

Answer 9

if you really are gay, you should probably trade the girlfriend for a boyfriend, and then you will truly be happy..

as far as dealing with kids, try to find councilling..

Answer 10

You need more help than we can provide.