How can I spy on my husband to see if he's cheating?

Question

My woman's intuition speaks to me in spurts. Usually when it goes off I find out something minor , or something that's not so minor. Never EVER had actual proof of cheating, so I put a spy in our computer. Still nothing. Then he found the spy thanks to spyware. Last Nov , after 10 mths of not working and raising our daughter, I went and got myself another job, inside me I worried if he'd behave while I was gone all day. He works evenings so he's to be home sleeping during the days. Well he drove me to work 1 day and told me he was going to run errands his cellphn was broken and i lost touch wit him for a while. Later I learned he went to visit a mutual friend of ours house who lived nearby to me for years. He never went there w/out me and he swore up and down that he only gave her advice and never did anything. I would love have him investigated for a month or so especially around payday. How much is a private eye, will some1 do that work for cheaper than an actual Private Eye??

Answer 1

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I believe that we know our husbands well enough and if you believe it's happening, it probably is. Maybe not completely yet, but if you are noticing enough of an odd behavior to install spy ware on your computer, than your sensing things that just aren't right. I think every marriage faces this same problem at some point. All men go through this phase at a certain time in their lives. they feel like they have to prove to themselves that they can still conquer or something. I wish I had some magic words that would make you feel better, but I don't. What I can say though is a few hundred dollars to a private investigator is well worth your peace of mind. My sister did it, and her suspecions were right on. It cost her $400 and he ws able to provide her with phone records, addresses, and a name. All she went to him with was just a funny feeling that something was different, no concrete evidence, basically the same as you. Needless to say, she is divorced now. What you have to ask yourself before you go through with it is, what will I do with the information once I have it, no matter what it is. If your right will you stay married? If your wrong will he regain your trust? Have your mind made up before you go, because if you don't think you want your marriage to end no matter what you find out, then you might just want to start working on your marriage and let it go. Tell your husband of your insecurities and that you really feel like the two of you are loosing touch and that you don't want that to happen. But if you decide that you could never stay married if he's doing this, than find out. One way or the other, begin to do something that will make you feel better. This kind of stuff eats away at you, and noone should live like that. I wish you the best of luck. God bless.

Answer 2

Hi....I read what the other people wrote.... and I guess what I'd say is this:
1. If your instincts are saying "watch out!".....Tread carefully.
We all have a gut feeling when things are not right.

2. IF you do decide to go ahead and hire someone to spy on him, BE READY...! Have you decided what you'll do IF your suspicions turn out to be true? Are you really willing to find out...? You have to have a Plan A, a Plan B and a Plan C...!

I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation, and hope everything goes well. Take care of yourself and your daughter.

Answer 3

Let me tell you, you have every right to check up on him. I found out my husband was cheating. I had that feeling you are talking about. I only work on the weekends, so that left him home alone. I left work early and found him in bed with someone else. They didn't see me. I was pissed off and stormed back to work. He lied to me about what he did that day. before I left to work ,I told him what I did and what i saw. I left the rest up to him.Because at that point, our realtionship turned into a free for all. Listen to yourself. You know your man. If something doesn't feel right to you, then something is happening. It may not be cheating. It may be that he is going through some inner personal turmoil and he doesn't know how to release it. Don't hire anyone. Sooner or later a cheater gets caught. That's just how it works.

Answer 4

If you are thinking that he is cheating most likely he is. He should of told you that he was going over your friends house instead of you finding out later on. What you can do and is much cheaper is take a day off of work act as if you are going to work get up the usual time and rent a car and do it yourself. You can put a scarf around your head and some sun glasses if you fear he will see you. Take a few days off so you will be able to see what he is doing. Do not confront him about you thinking he is cheating act normal and see for yourself. You could hurt your relationship if you continue to accuse him of cheating if he is not doing anything wrong.

Answer 5

Are sure you want to go this route, because this doesn't sound as if he's cheating. I think maybe you should for now just voice your concerns to your husband. I agree with what "Paul" said it might not turn out so good for you if it comes out that he isn't cheating.

Answer 6

Follow your instincts. I wouldn't hire a PI just yet, but I would keep closer tabs and maybe show up or call unexpectantly. I would check text messages and phone bills. I would also have the trust talk and let him know where you stand. If you don't get a warm fuzzy from that, that will tell you something. If he is unwilling to you show you his phone, that may also be a hint because people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

Answer 7

If you were so concerned about your marriage you would be working ON the marriage rather than spying ON your husband to prove he is cheating. Why are you even married to a man you obviously do not love or trust?

Answer 8

If nobody else ever listens to a word I say on here...PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS.
Always trust your intuition! I have never met someone who really questioned their partners fidelity that was wrong...NEVER, NEVER, NEVER. I'm not a man basher. I know women do the same thing too, but intuition is that little thing in you that is telling you the truth when all your fears and hopes are defending bull. Trust it.What you need to realize is that you don't have to prove it. And even if you did he (or she) will deny it unless you catch them in bed with someone(and will still tell you they didn't).

Answer 9

All I can suggest on the private investigator is call one up and ask their rates. Had you considered going by to talk to this "mutal friend" to see if her story matches his. You can do redial on your home phone and his cell phone and look through his call registry to see if he is getting calls from some other woman. Pretend to go to work and follow him in a different car...borrow a friends or family members.

Answer 10

if you truley think that he is cheating try the show cheaters, they won't charge you if he's cuaght and they use the story, but it will cost you if they don't find anything