Spoiled newborn?

Question

My baby is only 5 weeks old and i think i already spoiled her? Is this possible? She sleeps in her crib at night, but I usually let her fall asleep on me. Especially after she'd eaten and been burped. My bf or I usually hold her for a while until she's completely knocked out and then we put her down. I don't know if this is a phase or what, but lately she's been such a cry-baby, wanting us to hold her. She can stay laying down or in the bouncer or sitting in her swing for a little while. But then she'll cry and won't stop until we pick her up. Even at night, when she's in her crib, she'll be ok for a moment and when she realizes she's alone or not near us, she'll SCREAM!

This is what I tried to avoid even before I gave birth. I NEVER wanted to spoil my baby. But i never thought u could spoil a newborn. Is this possible? And what can I do?

and for your information *Mr. A*,
please don't ever question anyone's position as a mother as u have to me. I know some people are bored and just come on here for whtever. But it was just a concern I had.

I know she's only 5 WEEKS and newborns need attention and affection. Of course I make sure she's fed, burped, and changed, because otherwise she cries. And THAT was the concern. I guess it's also because I'm surrounded by people who tell me these things about spoiling baby. I AM a new mother and am learning. But thank you to all the serious straight answerers.

*no sh!t newborns cry*

Answer 1

Your instincts were right, you can't spoil a newborn. Just imagine what it's like to be her, five weeks ago she was warm, snuggly and jiggling around in her mommy's belly and now she's stretched out, in new surroundings (everything is new to her!) and you're the only thing she knows. Plus, you're warm and snuggly and provide the familiar sound of your heartbeat and familiar motion when you breath and move.

Newborns don't understand object permanence, either, so when you leave her she thinks you're gone for good. She doesn't understand that you're in the next room.

I'd say you're doing everything right. She's obviously bonded with you and your bf and just wants to be near you. As she gets older she'll gain more independence.

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 2

Just know that babies cry alot sometimes. At five weeks old she cannot really be spoiled. What you do is pick her up if she screams, and try to rock her in a rocking chair. She could have gas, or a burp bubble. When you feed her, make sure you burp her a few times before putting her down in her crib, because she will wake up with a gas bubble. She stops crying when you pick her up because her stomach next to your body feels good and she feels comforted. She also could be slightly colic, which is a baby who has tremendous gas during the first three months, no matter how many times they are burped. If you have to walk the floor with her and she is very cranky, then you may have to change the formula to soy milk. Discuss with your doctor if this continues. I know for a new Mother it can be very overwhelming when a baby cries and you have done everything possible, feed, change diaper, etc. So just be patient and you will see that in about two months, she will settle in and not have those crying fits. Listen, I had three children, who all grown, and all I can tell you that time passes and she will fall into a routine, so don't worry. But a newborn cannot be spoiled at 5 weeks. That I can tell you.

Answer 3

I posted a question similar to yours and I was surprised at how rude people were. Like saying there either hungry wet lonely. Like I would leave my newborn to cry of course I checked her Duh. Anyways My daughter is 4 weeks old and having the same problem at least yours is sleeping in its own bed. mine is sleeping with me. I swear i can lay her next to me and she'll go to sleep and then I'll lay her in her bassinet right beside my bed and she'll cry, she wont sit in her bouncy chair or swing. She wants me to hold her all day. I have also0 not wanted to spoil her, and I don't want a baby sleeping with me at 3-4 months. Some people say there children are sleeping with them until there 2. We'll I'm only 21 and have only been married for 3 years and I still want a relationship with my hubby and how are we gonna do that if my daughter is in our bed. I don't know what to tell you cause I'm going through the same thing and sometimes I feel as if im going crazy. It is hard to fold laundry or anything cause she wont let me put her down. I have one of those baby carriers and I put her in it and she sleeps while I'm working around the house. Everyone says u cant spoil a newborn but I think you can and obviously our daughters are proof, but as stressful as it is we love them and there precious aren't they? People act like were bad mothers and were not. Congrats and good luck on your new baby girl.

Answer 4

It'll be alright. that is how my daughter is, and just a couple of weeks ago, she started being ok with my putting her down for a bit, and, she even sleeps sometimes so that I can do other stuff, woohoo!!! But she almost always falls asleep in my arms or on me. I think it's your warmth, your scent, and your heartbeat that she likes.

I'm a first time mom, too, and I know what you mean. I was worried about spoiling my daughter. But, her pediatrician said that for the first 6 months of a baby's life, when they cry, you need to pick them up, because that's how they learn that they can trust you to be there when they need you. He also told me, though, not to be afraid to put her down. If I know she's fed, has a clean diaper, no temperature, etc, I do put her down and try to do stuff, and if she cries, I pick her up, calm her down, and then set her back down.

Also, I don't know if you guys have one, or can afford it, but the Baby Einstein Playmat/Activity gym comes with a star that plays music and does a little light show. My daughter loves it! It distracts her so well, that I pack it in her diaper bag, and it goes EVERYWHERE with us. It costs $59.99 at Babies R Us, and $49.99 at Target.

I have found out that my daughter will sleep for long periods with a sitter, but not with me, and it made me feel good, like she just wants her mommy when she's with me. I have one of those carriers, and have been considering putting her in it to hold her, while getting stuff done. May be an idea for you, too.

ADDED: Something I've learned the hard way is to not let people give you crap for how you take care of your daughter. If in your heart, you believe that you're doing the right thing, then trust yourself. Only YOU know what's best for her.

And, I forgot....if she sleeps in your bed, then try to move her to a bassinet once she falls asleep. I do this with my daughter. Some nights she stays asleep, and some nights, she winds up back in bed with mommy, but it's worth a shot to try.

Answer 5

I do not believe you can spoil a newborn. That is their only way to communicate that something is not right. They have been snuggled in your womb for almost 10 months, and yearn for the closeness with Mommy and Daddy. Also, it is how they let you know about a dirty diaper, cold, hot, hungry. It could be anything, but not spoiling. They have done studies that babies who have no human contact wither and die.....I used to put my first baby to sleep, knocked out, but he slept in his own bed, always, even if I had to stay up for hours just to get him to sleep on his own....with my daughter, having two kids, I needed my sleep more than I needed her in her own bed, and if she wouldn't go back to sleep, I dragged her into bed with me. You just do what you can, see what works and what doesn't, and don't be worried about everyone else, you do what feels right.

Answer 6

I agree you cannot spoil a newborn, her screaming will pass, i have five children when all where newborns they got that added attention, i feel newborns need, my children are not clingy or jealous of each other, they are secure because i made them feel safe as newborns, your doing great, maybe your baby is having trouble with formula or gas, but i think your doing great, don't worry, the world can be a scary place when you first arrive

Answer 7

Please get a book or read some parenting web sites.
You CANNOT spoil a newborn! Five weeks !
There is nothing your baby wants that is not essential to her health and well being.She needs to be fed, cleaned and loved. Holding an infant is important to her and to both parents.It is how she learns to trust the world and the people around her.She needs that sense of trust like she needs nourishment.
What did you expect from a newborn if not crying ? That is what they do.That is normal.

Answer 8

Loving your child is not spoiling them. Holding them is loving them, and children need love and attention at every age, but especially during their early developing years. You also need to look at this as a special bonding time with your baby, for you and the father. And, most parents do hold their infants when they go to sleep. It's natural, so I wouldnt worry too much but just enjoy this time with your baby, because it ends too quickly and next thing you know you'll be wishing they were small enough to hold in your arms again.

Answer 9

My 3 week old does that! I can't do anything without him waking up and freaking out. I am surprised he is asleep right now! I don't think it is possible to spoil a newborn though. They just want security at this point!

Answer 10

You definetly aren't spoiling her. 5 week old babies need to be held, they like to feel really secure when they are first born. She was in her mommy's belly for nine months safe, warm, and it was dark. Now its cold, bright, and in an unfamiliar place. All she knows is your warmth and the sound of your heartbeat right now. Don't worrry, before long she won't want to be held as much, and you'll be able to get some rest and other thing done! :) Congrats!!