my husband has a female friend who he speaks to a regular basis. she sends him pictures of herself. they im each other late at night when he should be in the bed with his wife. when i come in the room when hes on the phone with her he has to go in another room or outside to continue to talk to her. he calls me insecure and jealous, but when i get an email or im from a male friend or i talk to another man as a part of my job, he accuses me of cheating on him. i don't think it's fair for him to accuse me, but he can do the same things, and im not supposed to say anything about or have a problem with it. please tell me what you think. i welcome any input.
2007-03-22 14:17:17 · 56 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this female friend is someone we shared a home with (her, her husband and 2 kids) in nj, we are now back in ms. she also confided to me back then, that she had been unfaithful to her husband in the past with a good friend of her husbands. my husband and her husband are friends and former co-workers.
2007-03-22 14:35:58 · update #1
First of all a married man has no reason to have a female friend who he cannot talk to in front of his wife. Second of all a married man has no right talking to a female friend late at night, while his wife is in bed, nor should he be receiving pictures of her. And third of all, from life experiences, usually when someone accuses someone of cheating, that mean either they are doing it them selves, or thinking about it.
You need to lay down the law. HE needs to respect you and your wishes. He needs to make this friendship vanish or at least make it more like a hello from time to time. You have every right to be jealous. He needs to realize what this is doing to your relationship, and get rid of the friend. If he says no, then you have bigger things to be worried about than phone calls. Good luck
2007-03-22 14:30:15 · answer #1 · answered by Jackie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why is she sending him pictures? He is a married man that is ridiculous. My fiancé had a “friend” who would call like every other day just to talk and the way she talked to him really made me uncomfortable. So I told him I felt it was wrong and right away he said so she will not call me anymore. That day he told her you can’t call me any more. No other women should be put before you. Does this girl know he is married if she was a ream women (with any kind of decency) she would never send pictures or talk late at night to your husband. There is n reason for that. Its one thing to say hi how is you, what’s new? Ok take care every now and then (that is if she is a real "friend") but what he is doing is totally wrong and unfair to you. If I were in your shoes I would sit him down, not to argue or yell but to talk. Tell him how unfair he is being that you feel she is more important then you. Remind him who is his wife. Also if it were I I would do some investigating. Try and get his voicemail and email password. Check his credit card statements for places you haven't been to and check his text messages. They both sound sleazy and I don't even know them. Good luck
2007-03-22 14:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No he is not being fair at all. And why is she calling him, im, sending pictures. Have you question him why he has so much communication with her. If i was in your situation i would think he cheating, and he might accuse you of it you.because of his own insecurity, because he know that talking to her SO much is not right even if they are close friends, Well dint she cheat on her husband before with a good friends of her husband? Now what does that say to you. You should ask him why he likes talking to her and why doesn't he have the same communication with you.
2007-03-28 17:53:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's not being fair in his lack of communicating to you. He should not make you feel hurt directly because he has another confidante aside from you. Either he is over-involved with his female friend (which doesn't necessarily mean he's having an affair -- it only means that his behavior makes you feel consistently left out) or he is clearly sending a message to you that your place in his life is growing less important. It really sounds like he is having an affair, but we all are reluctant to point the first finger. The last possibility is that he is not feeling inspired by, attracted to, intimate for you and he doesn't love you, but he really wants to stay connected to you for other reasons. I don't think he is incapable or weak, according to your description. You should either make a strong confrontational statement about it, have someone else support you, or have someone else say it for you. The last situation really means that you are the "weak" one in the relationship and need to make a strong choice that you can live with securely. Do not continue feeling like you are a victim and you have no voice.
2007-03-30 05:10:02 · answer #4 · answered by dreamelixir4453 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! First of all, if you have a husband that accusing you of cheating. He is cheating. Somehow the person doing wrong always tries to blame the other for the same behavior. He is jealous of you talking to a man from work because he is doing more than just talking with this female friend of his. In his heart, he knows you are not doing anything wrong. It makes him feel in control to accuse you. This way, you will be so busy defending your own actions that you won't dare accuse him of cheating on you. Maybe you should consider leaving him because maybe he's not worth keeping. Let her have him and the same will happen to her. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
2007-03-22 14:23:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Honey, been there-done that. My husband did the same thing and now I am divorced and he's with Ms. What's Her Name. I kept thinking it was me but it was him. I have one best male friend and he accused me of all sorts of things that weren't even going on. It's called "GUILT" and he's so guilty that he's trying to make you feel so bad so that he won't feel as bad that he's cheating on you. If they are just friends, what are they saying that's so important where you can't here the conversation. I feel for you. Good luck. I hope it works out for you.
2007-03-30 08:46:46 · answer #6 · answered by beaddiva 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl hes probably having an affair you know it why ask? do what your heart tells you , but at the end you are going to see that what I'm telling you its the truth 1st put a stop on the time.. no woman calls my husband beyond 6 pm office things stay at office and also if he where saying the truth why go into another room to talk? why cant he talk right there if there's nothing wrong"
2007-03-22 14:27:13 · answer #7 · answered by grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is over. Act on it. Get a divorce lawyer and get the proof that he cheats. If he has not cheated already - and I'm pretty sure he must have - he is so close to cheating that you can probably count the weeks before it happens. Have the proof, be prepared, divorce him, dont' waste another minute crying about milk that is spilling in front of you. It is spilt.
2007-03-29 07:17:38 · answer #8 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is interested in this other woman. It would be more to his advantage to keep you in the dark and start to accuse you of things he is doing. I would not walk around with blinders. You have 2 choices. Let him continue as he has and ignore it. 2. Start having a little respect for yourself and tell him this is going to stop or your leaving. Sorry to say he is making a fool out of you.
2007-03-27 03:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my I think he is having an affair with her. I am sorry but knowone spends that much Energy to communicate with each other unless they are in some type of relationship other than friendship. I would call her and comfront her about it. Tell her to leave your husband alone. Let her know if she needs a friend to confide in her own husband.
GOOD LUCK!!! :)
2007-03-30 07:02:43 · answer #10 · answered by I am woman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋