Should I let my son stay with his pregnant girlfriend ?

Question

My son is 16 years old (im his dad, his mom died a long time ago)
Hes dating a 19 year old girl
She has a 1 year old son
and is pregnant with my sons child
I tried to tell him to leave her
But he doesnt listen to me
He says he loves her
and she says she loves him
He wants to marry her and adopt her son
I still keep trying to tell him to leave her
She got herself into this mess, shell figure it out herself
My son still has the rest of his life in front of him
Hers is already ruined
How can i get this through my sons head ?

Answer 1

If he wants to do the right thing, let him. There are few enough fathers that actually take responsibility. Help him anyway you can, just make sure that he finishes high school and goes to college so that he can provide for them if that is what he wants to do. you are setting a horrible example by telling him to leave her. So, what, it's okay for him to get her pregnant and just walk away? What if you had a daughter instead? Would you want the father of her child to do that to her? But tell him to hold off on marriage until he is older and absolutely sure that he is ready(financially and mentally) to take on such a commitment.

Answer 2

My brother is the same way he is 16 and got his girlfriend pregnant 2 times she is only 16 and has a one 1/2 year old daughter and she is going to have the baby anytime now and he won't leave her but he made her take Viagra and then got her drunk and she ended up having a kid and he did the same thing again and my dad just lets him do whatever because he already ruined his life and his girlfriends and my sister is 16 and she just had a baby about 4 months ago and she is pregnant again and I am 15 and on the same day my sister went into labor I found out I was pregnant and I am 4 months along!!!!!! But there isn't much you can do because either way he will be with her with or without your permission.

Answer 3

Don't tell him that. You should try to support him. He may already regret what he did and telling him about his mistakes won't make it any better for either of you. There may be a way he can still continue with school without leaving her. As for her life being ruined she didn't get herself pregnant did she? You can't just abandon this girl. You've got to think about her too, she's the one having the baby. And finally to the point.
You can't forget about the child. This is an actual human being and it has to have a father there for him or her. I think that you should still let him see her but don't let them run away togethor. The tighter you hold the more he'll rebel and you still want some control right?

Answer 4

I'd start by changing my attitude. Her life is not "ruined", just a lot more complicated than it needs to be, and now so is your son's. Then I'd see a lawyer to be sure the financial and legal responsibilities are properly sorted out and see what his legal options are. Finally, I'd encourage him to wait at least until he's 18 before deciding on marrying her. If it's love, it'll keep that long. And if the baby really is his, he doesn't have to "adopt" the child, it's already his.

Answer 5

how irresponsible are you telling your son to leave a girl he got pregnant. It takes two to tango so she didn't get into this mess all on her own as you seem to think. Your son needs to face up to his responsibilities and not leave a child. Her life isn't ruined and neither is your sons. People can still finish school, ,go to college and have a good career even after having a child at a young age. I think your son is right and you're wrong

Answer 6

Am I losing it, or have I read this before months ago?? If not, I think you need to look at the picture again. She did not get herself into this....She and your son got them into this. I think you need to let him be responsible. If you start telling him to back out on his responsibilities, what are you teaching him. So far you must be doing some things right...You must have shown him love and some sense of responsibility. Yes, he should have known better that to get in this situation, but it has happened. Now he wants to face life, I am sure how you have taught him. Be strong for him and support him the best you can. No matter how hard this is for you, it is harder on him. This is after all your grandchild and one day you are going to want to have something to do with him or her and so does your son. My prayers are with you and your son and his girl friend.

Answer 7

Well first of all she is not the only one who got herself into this mess and I dont believe having children ruins someones life. The fact is thought he is underage and I dont think he is mature enough to know what he wants. I think he should be part of his childs life, but getting married and adopting her other child is probably not a good idea with him being only 16.

Answer 8

I hate to tell you this, but your son's life is ruined also. This girlfriend did not "get herself into this mess". Your son has an equal share in the responsibility of the child. He is going to have to pay child support until the kid turns 18.

Answer 9

i dont see that it would make too much difference, if you make him leave her he will hate you and even if he leaves her he'll still have a responsibility for the child and will be forced to pay child support. who are you to say it wouldnt work out for them?
however depending what country you're in what she ahs done may be classed as statutory rape even with his permission cos he's a minor and as his father you can press charges against her. I'm not sure what change that would make to the child support issue though, but one would think either he could claim custody if he wanted or that he would be freed of the responsibility.

Answer 10

She got herself into this mess? Seems to me she had a little help. Get the baby tested b/c it may not be his. Seems to me if it is, it is his responsibility. You should have intervened before now the damage is already done. You can not force him to dump this girl and if you try you will just push him away.