The stress is all outside and unavoidable but making both people think its over.
2007-03-22 14:12:48 · 7 answers · asked by lilbear 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, you have to decide, what is marriage. And I think it is respect, admiration, passion and trust, with a whole lot of lovies, kindnesses, support, solving problems without rage, and sometimes only knowing when to shut the hell up, giving the other space. And I think that lots of those things are impossible if two people enter into marriage who are of different religions, races, politics, social backgrounds, etc. The more different they are, the more areas there exists for possible conflicts. These things aside, it is an attempt to grow, and accept change. When a couple just argue constantly, then the only taste one has in one's mouth is of arguing, and that doesn't much make for a pleasant relationship.
Stress. We all have stress, and it is not the stress itself that will kill a relationship, it is how it is handled. Sometimes one partner just has to say to the other, " I am just not going to be good company this week.... guess I have too much on my mind.." And I guess this is where the space comes in.
Stress: Children, and jobs can cause real stress... kids are not bonding, they are divisive, and marriages have to be pretty solid to survive.
Perhaps you both ought to look at those four above... they are for sure the biggies in a marriage. And you as well must each remain the others' best friend.
A marriage is probably over when you can imagine yourself alone, and like the idea better than to continue together. Assuming no betrayal, marriages do indeed die --- from all sorts of things.... lack of care and feeding, being the big factor. Marriage requires time together to nurture it, and time to enjoy things together. It as well need each partner to experience other interests, and bring those then back to the marriage --- separate vacations is not all that bad an idea.... When the walk together has been barren for a long time, you can each wake up and wonder why you are still there... The 'forest' of interesting things that you used to do together and with friends might have turned to the sands of a 'desert'.... and perhaps then it is time to shake hands, and accept that it is over...
Maybe too philosophical, if so, I apologize...but hopefully giving you each something to think about........
So, is it over? Or do you simply need to re-cultivate the forest?
2007-03-22 14:58:35 · answer #1 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not say at this point that your marriage is completely over and out of hope just yet... Try marriage counseling and therapy before giving up on each other and your marriage. If there is alot of stress then you may also need to see a medical doctor for the stress as well and learn how to deal better with the stress... I also suggest conflict resolution as well in this case. I understand the stress is unavoidable but you can choose to work on and stay in this marriage no matter what. Good luck to you.... Also go to http://www.drphil.com and email him for help and advice in this matter as well. You may also want to start staying away from the stressful things and people that are causing this stress as much as possible as well.
2007-03-22 14:22:05 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Knowing your marriage is over is just like knowing he/she was the right one to marry. Or being in love, it's not something someone else can tell you. You just know! No one else in the relationship know the relationship better then the two people in it. So, that's something no one can answer but that person who's asking the question. I hope I helped. Take care!
2007-03-22 14:18:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask its probably over. It took me 6 mos to realize that he was never going to change from the new person he had become. Live apart for awhile and if life is better, get it over with as fast and painless as possible!
2007-03-22 14:45:15 · answer #4 · answered by 5seriesfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But the decision is still yours despite of what outside people think of. Please read this, it may help you to decide. Good Luck.
2007-03-22 14:34:42 · answer #5 · answered by Redrosy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After you have tried everything to save it and when nothing works then it is time to end it.....
2007-03-22 14:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you just can not take any more and you don't care what happens.
you are just DONE!
2007-03-22 14:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋