Every time I get near someone who's popular or something I just clam up. I cant seem to get my words to flow freely when I talk to my family or other friends. I want to make more friends, but just cant seem to do it.
2007-03-22 13:45:12 · 21 answers · asked by Drew 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
go naked in the streets of New York
2007-03-22 13:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hm. I'm really sorry you feel this way and I know everyone is going to tell you how you should just except yourself and blah blah blah. Not what you want to hear. Unfortunaley- it is the truth. Being popular isnt even that great. All of those materialistic people are trying so hard to be popular and 'cool' that they're all the same and some of the most boring people in the world to hang out with. Rather than try to place yourself near popular people- try to find people who have things in common with you. Then not only will you have great entertaining friends who you have fun with but you won't freeze up because you wont have the initial intimidation of talking to someone popular because you wont be picking your friends like that. =) My friends are definalty not the 'coolest' people in school by your average teenagers judgement and they dont wear Hollister and we dont follow all the trends but we party every weekend and laugh every minute and have a blast. So really- Would you rather be cool or happy?
And if you're just having trouble making friends period than you should just try to relax and talk. =) Dont be intimidated. But if you're still having trouble you might want to talk to a school counselor and see if you can join a program welcoming new students to your school because then you can be doing a good deed and making friends at the same time. Also they'll be just as nervous and scared as you =) Good luck!
2007-03-22 13:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try walking past without stopping and simply say "Whassup", don't wait for an answer, it will catch their attention and it won't look like you are trying too hard. Trying too hard is a real turn off when trying to make friends. It may take awhile but eventually you will get a foot in the door with at least one of the popular people but remember once you do never try to monopolize the conversation, ask lots of questions (well thought out ones) let them talk about themselves most popular people are narcissists. Once you break into the crowd with a good footing you will probably find that they are so shallow and really not worth knowing.
2007-03-22 14:01:38 · answer #3 · answered by paradigm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself these questions 1. Do you have friends? 2. Do they confide in you? 3. Do you confide in your friends? 4. Do you think that your friends or circle of acquaintances do not try to avoid you? If you have answered yes to even one of these questions, You have a perfect circle of friends and you are popular amongst them already... Do you really need more?? I don't know what other type of popularity there is, unless it's the hero worship type, which is not what anyone wants. what you have is perfect, and worrying that you are not "popular" will only tell on your interaction with your friends and drive them away!! As for the "clamming up", I know it sounds easy, but just let your words flow naturally, and not behave as if you have memorised a script and are repeating it. just be yourself, and speak out, even to people who you think are popular, as you would to your juniors!! They are not that large personalities that you wold need to rehearse before you speak to them. Once you realise that they are just ordinary people like yourself and me, the words will flow!!! Just be yourself for yourself and everyone around you too.
2007-03-22 18:59:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why do you want to be so popular learn how to except the beautiful you, by saying every day i am beautiful and God loves me, do not look outside of your self for happiness, if you accept you, others will be more ready to accept you, if you don't accept you and abandon your self others will leave you also, believe me you can throw a party and invite many people and act like others, but if you don't accept you and who you are on a deep level, others around you will be able to sense it, and this one of those things you can not run from you must accept this how people start abuseing drugs and alcohol, and dealing with personal issue u would not begin to believe, because of lack of love for yourself I am not saying you can't have fun i am saying you are wonderful just as you are believe that first then you may get more friends, some of the most popular people in the world are the most hated and envied, so have fun have a party but believe in you find a pastor or church sounds to me you may be in spirtual war also let Jesus be your friend first.
2007-03-22 14:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What should you do? Accept yourself the way you are. Why do you feel the need to be popular? Who are you trying to impress and how will that improve your "inner" being? Just work on being the best person that you can be, not the most popular. Have you ever heard the saying, "Popularity breeds contempt". Well, it's often true, so be careful what you wish for.
2007-03-22 13:51:16 · answer #6 · answered by Cherish 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to be popular! You'll just end up adding more worry to your life. Even 'trying' to make friends can be a problem. figure out how to be comfortable with who you are, and then do things where you will meet people with similar interests. Being popular isn't necessary, but meeting new people, and getting into new things will help you feel confident and make friends.
2007-03-22 13:49:55 · answer #7 · answered by ktcougarus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey, dont worry about it, whats being popular gonna get u? no need man. There our other people out there, who aren't popular, and they still make good friends. Who cares if your not popular, thats not gonna get you anything.... Trust me, and these so called "POPULAR" people, they may seem popular, but what have they done for it? Dude, just do what you want, but you don't have to be popular, you can still have the respect of people, without popularity.
2007-03-22 14:37:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all quit trying so hard, desparation doesn't look good. Second, build your self confidence. You can exercise, get a haircut, new clothes and every person has something to contribute and you do too. Find out what your talents are and your good points and capitalize on them. Nice eyes, accent them more, nice butt, whatever. They all use the tiolet too !! They are no better then you. Picture them sitting on the pot,lol. Then maybe you will be able to talk to them if you can keep from laughing,lol.
2007-03-22 14:07:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about being popular - its the silliest thing in the world, and after you finish school none of those titles will exist anymore and it will be for nothing. Most people who were 'popular' in high school end up being less successful in life than those who werent. Learn your own personality and your gifts and develop yourself into the best person you can be - your time will come.
2007-03-22 13:49:34 · answer #10 · answered by radiancia 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Being popular has a lot to do with being confident.
Build your self-confidence by recognizing your good traits. Make a list of the things you do well. Be glad for those things, be grateful. Accept compliments gracefully, don't dismiss them, take them inside and say to yourself, yeah that's right, that's me. Smile and speak clearly, say thank you.
Cut yourself some slack. That nagging voice in the back of your head, that stops you from speaking - that's the voice that's stealing your confidence. You're over critical of yourself. Learn to like yourself, and that voice will go away and others will like you better too.
When you speak to people, be confident (fake it if you have to) and look them straight in the eye.
Choose a role model and act like them until you're comfortable with who you are.
One secret: everyone wants to like you. It's human nature, we all want to be liked, so we want to like the people we meet.
2007-03-22 13:59:36 · answer #11 · answered by the foolish fox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋