hi, in a nutshell, i'm 31 yrs old and when i was 17 i dated someone violent who did horrible things to me. Well, 14 yrs later I see him and he gives me a mean look, recognized me but didn't say anything. I saw him around maybe 3 times and each time he would break his neck to look at me. I'm married now with 2 kids but when I saw him I got chills and was so scared. My husband tells me i'm not that young girl anymore and not to feel scared but i worry still and feel sick that I still harbor scared feeling towards this monster. I want to move as I'm afraid one day of a confrontation. Please, any advice would be appreciated. Thank you very much.
2007-03-22 13:22:02 · 9 answers · asked by Angie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would think he has moved on past you and I am not trying to be rude, but this sounds ridiculous and I think you are being paranoid. People change and its been a long long time since youve seen him. I know I am not the same person I was at 17 are you? He probably isnt either, I'm sure he has his own life to worry about, possibly kids, a wife, someone else to abuse, who knows...I wouldnt let him get at you. Nothing has happened in the three times you have seen him, I would think if he were after you he would have done something by now, he is probably older and wiser, dont worry about it until you actually have something to worry about. Good luck.
2007-03-22 14:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by alexandria1_1999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie moving will not solve the problem.You could "bump"into him elsewhere the same way you have this time.
Your husband is there to protect you now.If this guy ever gives you any feeling that he may approach you or bother you,or follow you anywhere,call the authorities immedietly.Don't hesitate.
You really should have done that yrs, ago when he mistreated you.Never let anyone do harm to you.
It would maybe help if you would speak with someone about all these fears you have bottled up inside.A counsellor or your minister could help you a great deal.
All the best to you my dear and may God Bless.
2007-03-22 13:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, you mention that you have encountered him 3 times now... all in a week or stretched out further? Go ahead and take your own precautions, discuss this with your husband and simply talk to get his reassurance that he is there for you. In a pinch, you can set up specified call times for you to call in to a friend or your husband, to help provide you with some reassurance. Dont be afraid to set up a code word or phrase in the unfortunate event that you are abducted. Take note of where you saw this other man, and avoid those places. And as a last resort, if this issue escalates, get a protective order (sometimes called a restraining order)
Good luck.
2007-03-22 13:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by Unforgiven Shadow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually after 14 years I would say don't worry, but after reading and watching the news and how crazy people now I would never go alone anywhere or if he tries to even talk to you head in the other direction and then call the police. Babe he must of done some awful things for your memory to be so vivid still.
2007-03-22 17:53:59 · answer #4 · answered by nicolejane68 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO - next time you see him you look at him calmly and act like you have not a care in the world about him. You are a mother now - a protector of children. You're not afraid of that numnut anymore. You want to give him the benefit of the doubt after all this time - that's what he wants. He can piss off.
2007-03-22 13:32:52 · answer #5 · answered by Virgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to trust your husband and that he is there to protect you from this monster. Remember, this happened 14 years ago and now you must move forward. Don't let this monster intimidate you anymore.
When you see this monster, just ignore him and enjoy the time with your kids. Don't focus too much on this monster because it won't be fair to your husband and kids. Be strong and of good courage, your husband is there to protect you!
2007-03-22 13:58:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your husband is right you are not that teenager any longer. He is just looking and not saying or doing anything. Is he stalking you? If so get a restraining order. He probably moved on with his life as well.
2007-03-22 15:58:29 · answer #7 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well never go out alone. Maybe moving could be the answer if he's really that bad. Maybe learn self defense techniques, bring pepper spray with you when u go out. Maybe go to the cops and tell them what's goin on.
2007-03-22 13:29:16 · answer #8 · answered by Chris W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what the ex did to you but i wouldn't run or let on your scared that he knowed your weak if he bothers you get a restraining order your husband won't let anything happen if he loves you
2007-03-22 13:30:36 · answer #9 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋