a man married 20 plus yrs leaves his family for some 21 yr old he met at work ....up until then things were not great but didnt think it would ever come to him hurting me or the kids this way.....lack of any remorse no guilt that i can see..when we do talk he is nasty and hurtful.......explain why help me understand....
2007-03-22 12:49:48 · 15 answers · asked by Mary G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sure you've already got people telling you he'll come back, and it's likely. But, should you want him back? You shouldn't. Unless that is, you guys can manage to end up with a marriage that is a lot better than "not great but didn't think it would come to hurting me" You can do better alone, so if he's gonna make a fool of himself with a girl young enough to be his daughter, see a lawyer, and take care of YOU. I'm not saying shaft the guy, but be very careful, and realize that he may act differently than you'd ever have dreamed.
2007-03-22 13:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult to see the pain of other people when you don't know to look at it. He was probably suffering horribly. NOT! Mary it's called a mid life crisis. Some guys cheat, some guys buy red convertible sports cars, I bought a jet ski! I just figured it was cheaper than a divorce and definitely cheaper than a girlfriend! If you want to make him pay, or get him back, go to court! Get alimony! I guarantee he won't be able to support himself and a 21 y/o's "wants" and pay alimony too! His fantasy has become a reality. Soon his past will become his new fantasy! "If I only would have stayed true" will become the phrase that haunts his every waking moment. Time to start his nightmare!
2007-03-22 13:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For any married man to walk out on you and the kids, well he's not looking for love, most girls today are whores, to them its a sex adventure. All you have to do is read some of these stories.
I am sorry for your pain, but, i guess it makes him feel like 21 to be with a younger girl, she'll leave him, and go on to get what she deserves. Go on with your life, do not call or try to contact him, although he must give you financial support. You will survive this, life will open up a whole new chapter for you. Go to Jesus, you will get through this. I know where there is life, there is hope, there must have been times when a man truely was sorry, came to his senses and begged forgiveness, God always wants us to forgive. Only through God and much spiritual counseling, could this be mended.
2007-03-22 13:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-19 09:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is one of many that thinks with what's between his legs. There are many out there just like him. This may not be the only time he has stepped outside his marriage. It could also be that he cannot accept getting older and this is a way he can regain his youth. It happens with many men and women nowadays that they weren't happy throughout their marriage(much to the surprise of their spouses) and they decided it's time to find that happiness elsewhere. Think of it this way - would you want him knowing he wasn't happy with you or wanting to be with you? It wouldn't be fair to either one of you. It will be hard, but you too deserve someone that wants to spend the rest of their life with you. Good Luck.
2007-03-22 12:59:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's classic, Honey. He likes the attention, and feels like "the man" cuz this young girl actually wants him. (Been there not even two years ago...and I know the pain you're feeling...it makes you feel like Crap.) The grass looks way greener now, but trust me, it will come back to bite him on the hiney. Later, the young girl will notice him getting older and older. She'll realize he can't keep up with her libido, is grumpy, and she has to wait on him too much. She'll get sick of sitting at home, instead of doing what the younger crowd is doing. One day, she'll realize she can have something younger herself, and then she'll walk out, leaving him with nothing, but a bruised ego, feeling stupid for giving up his whole life for a piece of booty.
2007-03-22 12:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one can explain why only he really knows. Sounds like a midlife if you asked me and maybe some underlying resentment. I would take him to the cleaners darling, you gave him twenty years and he had an affair and left you and the family you are entiltled to half if not more.
2007-03-22 12:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't listen to all that...he is a failure and he knows it. he is not going to admit it to you, the new girl or anyone else. he is " over compensating for his failures. he will try and rationalize his behavior to himself and even blame you. anything than admit his responsibilities in the break up of the marriage. this is HIS problem, not YOURS. MOVE ON. don't even think about what he is doing. every time you start to, tell yourself to stop and think of something else. you have to change channels. it's not easy, but you can. pretend this is happening to a dear friend. give her advise,,than take it.....take back control, start legal proceeding, make all the moves, you'll feel better when you are in control...good luck to you.
2007-03-22 13:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by cookie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Midlife crisis and he can't afford a Porche? Perhaps he is nasty and hurtful because he feels ashamed of himself. How is he around the kids?
2007-03-22 13:08:00 · answer #9 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh hun, it sounds like he's really messed up...I'm so sorry for you and your kids...the only thing you can do is to start a new life with you and the kids only...be strong for them and that strength will help get ya'll through this
2007-03-22 12:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by tx girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋