if you are marreid but seperated and you meet someone else is this having an affair?

Question

my friend has been married for 10 years and has three kids. The marrage has fallen a part and he has been living with me for 4 months now.


He still sees his kids every weekend and always looks after them. As for his wife he has no more feelings for her. He likes her as a person but doesn't love her anymore. But he feels that he has no love to give to his wife. ( there has been alot of history to way this is but this is not the point).

THE REAL QUESTION IS has seperated from her but does this mean ( as they have sperated for 4 months now and he has told her he wants a divorce but it hasn't started) if he meets someone is this extra martial affair or not???

could she use this in the divorce against him? even though while they are together he never slept with anyone else??

what is the legal point of view on this??

help please - my friend is going insain worrying about it.

IT SEEMS THAT I DO NEED TO MAKE A FEW THINGS CLEAR.

1)THE MALE FRIEND IS MY BEST FRIEND FOR OVER 20 YEARS ( I ACTUALLY INTROUDCED HIM TO HIS WIFE 15 YEARS AGO)
HE'S LIKE A BROTHER TO ME - WE ARE NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR

2) I AM MARRIED TOO AND MY BEST FRIEND IS LIVING WITH ME AND MY HUSBAND!!!

3) HE HASN'T MET A NEW GIRL - HE'S TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THAT IF HE'S NOT LIVING WITH HIS WIFE ANYMORE IS HE SINGLE AND FREE TO DATE?

Answer 1

Yes it's an affair, he is still married.

Do the courts care? Sadly, no.

Advise your friend to work on his marriage, or end it before starting with another person.

Answer 2

Technically it is adultery. He needs to get divorced so he can move on 100%. I dated when I was separated. I didn't consider it cheating but it is technically. I do not believe she can use it against him in court. I suppose again technically, it is considered an extra marital affair since he is still legally married. I use the word "technically" a lot because what the law says and what society tolerates is very very different.

Bottom line there is nothing stopping him from starting the divorce. This needs to be started. It needs to become legally over. I wish you the best of luck.

If he is giving her any support for the kids he needs to keep track of this, too. NEVER pay cash without a "signed by her" receipt.

Answer 3

Married but seperated equals still married.
Married , got a divorce equals not married.
Affair is when one is married but seperated and
goes out with someone else.
Cheating is when one is married seperated or not
and has sex with someone else.
So if the person is married living togeather or
seperated and goes out with someone else that
is an affair and when they do the act that is
cheating. Now you know.

Answer 4

A married man is a married man in my book. He *says* he never slept with anyone else while married, but if he's out on the town with other women while still married, that's not going to reflect well on him.
Also, what kind of woman would date a married man with 3 kids who was living with someone else and hadn't bothered to initiate a divorce? He's not exactly in a position of offer very much to anyone he might date.

Answer 5

If there is nothing legally down on paper that they are separated then yes she could get him for it, it is adultry. same if she met someone. I wouldn't go hooking up with this man, my husband separated from me for a bit and told a few people he had nothing left to give and had no feelings left for me but at the same time he was sending me emails and meeting me for marriage counceling. We are now back together and stronger than before...when people are hurt they often say things that aren't 100% accurate.

Answer 6

If they are still technically married, then I would say yes, this is classified as cheating which could quite possibly effect the divorce. Morally/ethically I do not think it is an affair. Law > Reason

Answer 7

He needs to finish putting out the fire he's in before he builds a bigger one. He's still married, so if he messes around, in my opinion, it's still "adultery" until the divorce is done. Plus, it can look really bad on him during the divorce if she has proof and brings it up. Any good lawyer will tell you to cool your heels on new relationships until the "fat lady sings"! Besides, the divorce will most likely be final in 3-6 months. He needs the space to really find himself anyway, instead of getting all wrapped up in someone new so soon.

Answer 8

meeting someone and sleeping with someone is two different things. Seperation is good is it is for life inventory....getting into a relationship is love on the rebound. Anytime kids are involved it is best to stop and think (if anything) before the damage is done.

Answer 9

I am going through this now. I am separated from my husband, but I plan to date and he knows this. We are very good friends, but that is it and he knows that our divorce will be processed soon. Legally, she might try to use this against your friend, but honestly I don't see how she can and it will hold no ground, they are living apart, and he has made the decision it is over. There is no law that says you can't date when separated.

Answer 10

My ex-husband cheated on me while we were still together that is one of the reasons that our marriage ended. Our divorce was in Florida. It was filed as irreconcilable differences. The courts could care less that he was cheating on me in Florida. In my opinion if they are truly over and will be filing for divorce then he should start moving on with his life, it will make the divorce easier. My ex and i were seperated for 7 months, as soon as he filed for divorce i started dating again. And my boyfriend and i have been together for a year now and we are very happy together and talking about moving in together. I hope my experience helps. Good luck...