Hubby broke my phone and deactivated my email account during a huge fight. Should I be mad still after that?

Question

My hubby and I got into a huge fight a cople of weels back and did a lot of things that fueled my anger towards him. He smashed my phone, hid the spare phone i had so I cant use it and worst deactivated my two email acounts. We are in good terms now but seems that everytime I think about my mail that I lost it just pisses me off. I had a lot of information in it and just for the record I don't have any guy on the side except him. I asked him to reactivate it but it seems like it cant be retrieved anymore. Do I still have any right to be pissed at him about this? I just dont want to let it pass since I feel like it wasn't even proper for him to do that

It started with about me not talking to him for being so sarcastic about things and eventually escalated to another issue. Bottomline here is I'm very vocal about what I do over the internet and he even knows who I talk to online. So whats with that? I never did anything to him that brutal that he should get back to me like that

thats the problem, he knows a lot about computer stuff that he even accessed the email account that i use as an online journal and told me what was inside it. He didnt even know about it. My email account was with yahoo so I just dont know how he got into it

Answer 1

Whatever his reasons were, he's handling this in a very childish way. If he had reasons to suspect something, that's one thing, but to destroy the phone and deactivate your email really didn't accomplish anything because you can just get new ones. It sounds like there are bigger issues here, and they need to be addressed. It was an attempt to control what you're doing, but once again, one that won't really work out the way he thought. You do have a right to be angry, but I kind of wonder what brought it to that.

Answer 2

Your husband needs to grow up because only children have tantrums. Breaking personal property and reading your email is a trust issue. I would not let it go, but I wouldn't also give my husband the password to my email account. Despite the fact that your are married, does not give him the right to invade your privacy. Get yourself a new email account - don't let him know about - this would work well if you didn't share a computer. But in case you do, the both of you need to have a conversation about boundaries and respect.

Answer 3

Two things:
1. Don't simply forget about him doing those things.

2. People who know a lot about the Internet are by all accounts, going to be more worried or concerned about loved ones who use the Internet.

So with that said, I would recommend a sit-down and find out why he was so upset. If he knew how you use the Internet (and your usage is purely innocent) one has to question his motives.

Not knowing his side of the story leaves a huge gap in coming to a valid solution to his behavior.

Answer 4

It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship. You should state what you did (if anything) or what caused his anger. He could have come from an abusive family and believes this is the way to react to certain situations. Whatever the cause, you need to either get away from the present environment or get serious help (counseling). Personally, I recommend leaving. People follow a certain pattern and generally get worse as time goes on.

Answer 5

How did he delete your account? Does he have your password? Set up an account where he doesn't have a password and he can't delete, like yahoo or gmail. then even if he shuts you out of the computer you can access it from anywhere. Oh also consider getting a laptop and passwording it so he can't have access and ruin your work or emails. With your own laptop he can't use a keylogger because it would be illegal since it isn;t his.

Answer 6

yes you should be pissed off- my husband has broken his share of phones (I lost count) and it makes my blood boil to no end I swear. I'm still mad about the first one and that was like 2 years ago. What a coincidence - I can see we're not alone in the world!

Answer 7

So what do you get if you are still pissed, what's the payoff, that you get to nag at him, and give him the silent treatment, and push him into another huge arguement? Don't get me wrong, I get so angry sometimes at some of the dumb things my hubby does, but holding onto the anger doesn't get you anywhere except spiraling down.

Answer 8

I lived with a bully and a control freak for too many years. Has he done things like this before? Like disable your car so you cannot leave. I wouldn't be mad, I'd be scared.
If he is mentally abusive get out ASAP.

Answer 9

Who's really being affected if you can't let go of your anger? Even if you don't feel like you can forgive what he did, you're using alot of energy holding on to the past.

Answer 10

where's your sense of independence? what happened to you having your own job with money that you can provide your own cell phone with your own email account with a password that only you know? this doesn't seem like a trust worth relationship. it sounds more like control to me. control over you. he smashed your phone and de-activated your email address? sounds to me like you need to begin regaining your sense if self indentity and self independence back. if he doesn't trust you then there is no relationship.