I am in the first week of my second trimester and I just looove being pregnant. I didn't feel too hot during the 1st trimester, so I needed some help around the house and stuff from my fiance. I do feel better now and have my part time job. He works construction and it is very hard labor work. He provides very well, works 7-4 five days a week. Our house is a mess, laundry everywhere, dishes pilled up... but it seems like i just did them!!! I ask him to help and he says hes tired and just because i'm pregnant doesn't mean i should milk it (he didnt mean that in a mean way either.) Is he right, or should I demand that I need a bit of a break? Its hard, because I'm not greedy... but to some people I could come off as the bad-guy and to others he could be... What can I do to make things smoother in the household?
2007-03-22 12:30:36 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Make cleaning up a team project. Work together to clean up after dinner. Ask him (and do it yourself) rinse and put used dishes and glasses in the dishwasher when you are done don't leave them in the sink all day. Make sure laundry gets to the hamper or at least in a single pile. Put on some music and job out together on a weekend morning for a couple of hours and get it all cleaned up and then both of you pick up after yourself all week, that way the weekend part will be less, and you both do your part during the week.
2007-03-22 13:03:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably need to communicate how tired you are carrying a baby around inside. Guys...well, we tend not to have a f'ng clue what you all go through. My wife's been pregnant twice. Trust me, the second time was a lot different. I have a very demanding job - I'm a charter pilot, so I'm not always home. However, I'm always just a phone call away. When I get home, the only thing I want to do is sit on my couch and watch some television, simply happy to be home. Yet, I look around to see what havoc my 4 year old and 15 month old have done. If I need to pick up, just a little, before I sit down, the effect on my wife is amazing.
Tell him you need just a little help. You understand his job is demanding. I worked construction for a few years. Its tough. But a relationship takes two people giving 60%...that allows for one to get a little tired and the other to pick up the slack.
2007-03-22 19:40:04 · answer #2 · answered by pilotpat2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
even though he is working he should still be helping out around the house. It's part of being married and having a family. You are working too and carrying around the extra weight of a baby while you do it. He may be tired but ask him if you could maybe start splitting up the chores because it is not going to be any easier when the baby arrives. Try not to make it a demand but do point out that being a part of a family is more that working to provide money, it also requires taking care of the household and helping each other when you need it.
2007-03-22 19:41:24 · answer #3 · answered by C T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just explain that you are more tired now than you use to be and that he should start helping out more. Just because he works ( I understand that he works hard ) It doesnt mean he cant help out a little around the house to. Even if it is just the dishes or just vacuming. It helps you out and wont seem like such a mission to get through the rest. Soon you will have baby, and house work will be the furtherest thing from your mind.
2007-03-22 19:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about each of you having certain responsibilities. One does all the dishes all the time, the other does the cooking and laundry. Or something like that. And learn to be okay with a bit of a mess that can be taken care of on days off. It doesn't have to be perfect everyday.
2007-03-22 19:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend works hard labor for 9 hours a day and you want him to come home and mop the floor? Um... I think you need should learn to organize yourself and your home before the baby arrives- if you can't manage it now, you'll be up the creek with an infant. Two adults don't generate enough dishes and dirty clothes to have them piled up all over the place when it takes 30 minutes a day to keep things tidy.
2007-03-22 19:57:49 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be nice to him. Tell him the housework and your part time job are getting on top of you. You would be tired...it is natural for a pregnant woman to feel like this. You need your rest too....and so does he, so the best way to resolve this is to hire someone to come in a couple of days a week to clean. You will soon find out if he is too tired to help out if he doesnt want to part with his money....lol.... I dont mean to be sarcastic, but some men will find the time to help out when they are confronted with forking out money....Or maybe he just may think its a great idea. I think it is, you both work and you are pregnant...makes perfect sense to me.
2007-03-22 19:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww...you are in the training phase. when the baby gets here....the house will get worse. look, this is where his tolerance is tested. either he helps out, or he can't complain when he can't find a fork to eat with. i was tired all the freaking time. i'm still tired and the baby was born 8 weeks ago. honestly, i don't understand the mystery of just cleaning the kitchen only to come back and it's messy again. pisses me off. you need to stop stressing. clean in phases. do a room. take a break...or a nap. when you cook, cook in quantity and freeze leftovers. baggies are your best friend right now. do one load of laundry a day, it makes it less daunting. teach him to make simple meals so he can help cook. like spaghetti, breakfast foods easy stuff. my husband fgured out how to make chicken breast in the oven. he knows how to make country fried potatoes and bacon. he'll learn. give him time and be patient.
2007-03-22 19:43:52 · answer #8 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start by plan your day better a good house clean is 3 hrs a day and you have to do laundry every day put the dishes in the sink do the floor and bathroom make the bed but later he should help you also or now its ok
2007-03-22 19:54:32 · answer #9 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you didn't get that way by yourself, he should help with little things like taking out the trash, clearing the table after you cook dinner, helping you fold laundry while you are both sitting down watching tv stuff like that. He should help with little things like that even when you aren't pregnant. Its his house too.
2007-03-22 19:35:12 · answer #10 · answered by cslynn1980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋