I dont want to stop talking to him but I feel weird when he is around and dont really want him any where near me. plz help
2007-03-22 12:25:54 · 25 answers · asked by Ally M 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I didn't read what the other 25 people said but in my take on the situation, you said
1. Your uncomfortable with Gay people in general.
2. Your uncomfortable with your friend being possibly gay
3. Your unsure whether to keep talking with him and continue your friendship as he may actually be gay, and may be attracted to you.
4. You don't wan't him anywhere near you because it's an embarrassment to associate with gays among your straight friends.
On the otherhand, you say:
1. You still want him as a friend to talk to, despite the above.
This is just my interpretation but my suggestion is to figure out why you "don't want to stop talking to him" and weigh the pros and cons. It's harder when your young with a lot of peer pressure from your group. I think you have answered your question with your question itself.
2007-03-24 10:02:43 · answer #1 · answered by bluei 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off all, you must ask yourself why are are uncomfortable or intimidated by gays? What exactly bothers you? Are you of the assumption that just because someone is gay they will be immediately attracted to you and try to hook up with you? Put that thought to rest. Contrary to popular belief, not all of us are looking to sleep with every guy that we come in contact with nor are we looking to bring every straight guy over to the other side.
You must also ask yourself, if your friend would have never told you about his thoughts/feelings would anything have changed? Has he expressed an interest in you physically or in pursuing a relationship with you?
Just because he is gay doesn't mean you can't continue you friendship and that the friendship can't grow. Honestly, you should feel honored that your friend felt comfortable enough to tell you this... that tells me that he feels very highly about you and that he trusts you to be understanding and compassionate about his situation.
Continue to be his friend and be sympathetic to his situation. If it will make you feel at ease, when you are talking have an open candid conversation... set boundaries if it will make you feel better. I'm sure he will understand. But, speaking from experience... don't cut him out of your life... try to learn and be understanding... Like I said, he has trusted you with this and if you cut him out, this will be devastating to him.
You have the opportunity to do something great for a good friend and grow as an indivdual yourself. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-03-22 18:16:11 · answer #2 · answered by Brandon M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try getting to the core of WHAT makes you so uncomfortable around gay people. There may be a reason that could be resolved. You won't have a chance at resolving your discomfort unless you pinpoint the origin of your feelings and learn that there's nothing wrong with being gay and it isn't a threat to your life. Talk to your friend and tell him what you are afraid of. Get through it together.
2007-03-22 13:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a straight person, you are only uncomfortable because you lack the knowledge of what homosexuality is. If your friend is gay, it doesn't mean he will fall in love with you. He would still be the same person you became friends with. If he changes after expressing his new sexuality then that would be a different story, like making new friends that have the same thing in common as him. Then he wouldn't be the same person, anymore. Good Luck!
2007-03-22 12:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by treasureyourself 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A little homophobic? He is your FRIEND. If your seriously homophobic, you need to realize that. Also realize that not all gay people are total slut bags and will come onto you like that if thats what your thinking he will do.
If your a true friend you'll be there for him. And if you an adult you deffiantly will be there for him.
If he was to come out to you, DON'T PUSH HIM AWAY AS A FRIEND. Thats actually a really good thing. He TRUSTS YOU enough to come out to you. Trust is so so important these days you wouldn't even know.
Just...Be there for him. If he is gay, half of society won't accept him, and if his friend doesn't accept him, how would he feel? Horribly suicidal I bet.
2007-03-22 12:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by Me..................... 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gay people make just as good friends for straight people as straight people. the only reason to disassociate from a gay person would be you are straight and they try to come on to you. If you are straight that would soon become disgusting to you. However most gay people when they realize they are becoming infatuated with a straight person will leave you alone anyway.
2007-03-22 12:33:31 · answer #6 · answered by Bullfrog21 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you shouldn't focus so much on what he does behind closed door's. Y'all were friends before he said he was gay. and then again if you still fill uncomfortable then maybe y'all shouldn't be friends. But you might get over your homo-phobia.
2007-03-22 12:34:48 · answer #7 · answered by J14k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he is gay doesnt mean he is gonna come on to you, just say you arent but still wanna be friends, being uncomforatble around him is like saying you are uncomfortable around your freinds fat mom cuz you dont like fat chicks
2007-03-22 14:00:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you know why you feel weird around him? Knowing that may help you. I don't think you should stop talking to him, perhaps you may need to discreetly limit the time you are around him.
2007-03-22 12:32:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time for you to grow as a person. Accept the fact that it's not about him being gay, it's about you and your issues.
2007-03-22 13:02:25 · answer #10 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋