Gays are...born gay?

Question

Don't answer this UNTIL you've read all of this.
I've seen lots of questions int the LGBT section with people saying "They are born gay". Im a Gay Teenager. I have something to say about that.

I never chose to be gay. I swear I didn't. I've always like guys. Its complicated for me to explain because its something I really want to clear up and understand myself. Then again, I don't know how I could have been born gay? Like I said, I've always liked guys. I've never been, or I don't ever recall, being attracted to a girl. I will admit, I do think girls are beautiful, but I could never see myself dating one.
The question I guess is, What is the TRUTH! The truth about being born gay or choosing to be gay. Again, like I said, I never chose to be gay, I've always liked guys.
Please don't give me dumb answers, Im being very serious.

HOMOPHOBICS - Don't say being Gay is gross.

CHRISTIANS - Don't say I need Jesus in my life. I already do. Im a Christian myself.

Homophobics & Christians I do know you are more than likely against the Gay Community but I don't care. If you have a SMART and RESPONSIBLE answer I'd like to know. I don't really need the drama and "You need God' or "Your sick" comments. I've heard them to many times and its getting old. But yeah, If you think you could be cool and help me out I'd appreciate it.

I haven't read all the answers yet, but I just saw one. "I've never saw any gay person say they weren't born gay, the truth is every gay person."

Im only a teenager. I just want to know. There is to many people out there to fear. I don't fear homophobics. I fear being rejected because of who I am. Homophobics say that we aren't born gay, they say it millions of times, they are against the gay community and I shouldn't believe them I know, but hearing it a thousand times, I just get confused.

I don't want to deny who I am. I damn sure don't want to be confused about who I am.

So far I've only had to report one person...Shows people can be mature...and in an awkward way, Immature.

For those with helpful answers, Thanks.

Answer 1

First thing: you've identified the important part. You didn't choose to be gay.

Aside from that, don't let other people feed you what's called a "false dichotomy". you're being offered two possibilities when more than two exist. Suppose that something in your environment "made you gay"; that still doesn't mean you "chose" it, nor does it mean you're less of a person or deserving of less rights.

The truth is, it ultimately doesn't matter. People are way too caught up in the source. Truth is, it doesn't matter. We're STILL people, and we still deserve equal rights. We still deserve happiness. Even if it were a choice, it should be a choice we should be allowed to make for ourselves.

Answer 2

I've never understood why people would argue that being Gay is a choice. I have nothing against the Gay community, but I'm straight and could never see myself just deciding to "turn" Gay suddenly by choice. I have always liked guys and that won't change. I think it's the same with being Gay. You're born that way. Why would a person "choose" to become a part of a community that is ridiculed and ostracized on a daily basis anyway? It doesn't make sense. The theory that homosexuals choose to be that way has always baffled me.

Answer 3

I have always known that I prefer guys to girls. As far as I am concerned, I was born that way. I have tried sex and relationships with women but, while enjoyable, it is not satisfying the way sex and relationships with men are. If I lived in an oppressive society, I suppose it would be possible to hide my sexuality, get married and have kids - as many gay men do - but why should I? I didn't choose to be gay but I am. I accept it and so do my friends and family. I am also very comfortable with being gay and have no tolerance at all for homophobes and bigots.

It has not yet been proved that geing gay is genetic but I think it is a normal part of the range of human sexuality. Once we remove the laws and religious views of it, it falls into place. People are sexual beings and will have sex with people they like. If that person happens to be of the same sex then so be it. If there were not the religious constrictions on it, far more people would be enjoying same-sex encounters at no detriment to themselves or their partners.

Tell the bigots to get f*cked and live your own life - and enjoy it.

Answer 4

First I want to say it's awesome that you have Jesus in your life. :) I always love hearing about other GLBT people that are Christians too, since it's a hard road to be both.

Second, I agree with a lot of the other answers. If you didn't choose to be gay, then that's that. I know I didn't choose to be transgendered and quite frankly I don't think anyone would want to choose the confusion and lack of social acceptance that being GLBT gives. There will probably be a bunch of people that will wonder why you chose this, and I hope you realize in your heart that you clearly didn't choose this and can tell people confidently that you are this way naturally.

(P.S. I just saw there's another Sarah W. above me... we're different people, haha)

Answer 5

Hello,

Firstly.......I do know of a few women who have chosen to be gay. These women have had straight relationships that have gone seriously wrong (in a very bad way). This was THEIR choice to try something different and i know not even one of them will ever go back to a man. THIS IS CHOICE.

Secondly......Some men / women are brought up in a strict family where anything thats different to whats classed as normal is NOT excepted. One of my ex girlfriends had such a life. Her family life was so strict she was affraid to be honest to her family and the rules of her household was if you want respect from your family then get married and make us grandparents.Sounds awful i know but this IS how some peoples lives are. She did however meet a man, marry him and raise 4 children. But when she was 32 she decided enough is enough and no matter what she does she will never be respected fully in her family. She had had feelings for women but hadn't taken much notice of this. She is however now divorced and happily living with her girlfriend.

Thridly.......Myself when i was very young (between 13 and 15) i had feeling towards my bestfriend at school (a girl). But i tried to ignore this. I never found boys / men attractive sexually I had 3 sexual relationships with men from 16 to 19. None of these relationships did ANYTHING for me in the bedroom department and i just didnt feel anything towards any of them. I still had these feelings for women and they had got stronger. I experimented when i turned 20 and came out about being lesbian at 21. Im now 29 and out and proud.

I believe i was born gay i just chose to ignore it.

Answer 6

The truth is...the ONLY truth that matters is what is true for you.

Me? I've always been attracted to girls. I can appreciate a man's handsomeness (much like you appreciate a woman's beauty), but I have never desired to be with a man.

So I was born straight.

I'm happy that you're comfortable enough to be out in the open regarding your sexuality.

Answer 7

Most scientists would back us both up when we state that a person is born LGBT or straight, and that this doesn't change. People just take different lengths of time to understand their natural, inborn sexual orientation.

When something is inborn, like your eye color, skin color, or orientation, is it obviously not a "choice," nor something to be "cured." It is just who you are.

I hope that you have a g/s alliance or a local PFLAG chapter available to you, if you need any other questions answered. Or you can come back here. We'll be here.

Answer 8

Being gay has been scientifically shown to be a biologic and genetic occurrence.

An October 2004 scientific research publication stated that scientists at the University of Padua have found that women tend to have more children when they inherit the same - as yet unidentified - genetic factors linked to homosexuality in men. This fertility boost more than compensates for the lack of offspring fathered by gay men, and keeps the “gay” genetic factors in circulation. Mothers of gay men produced an average of 2.7 babies compared with 2.3 born to mothers of straight men. And maternal aunts of gay men had 2.0 babies compared with 1.5 born to the maternal aunts of straight men.

Another study published in Human Genetics in February 2006 examined X chromosome inactivation in mothers of gay sons and mothers whose sons were not gay. Normally, X chromosome inactivation occurs at random: half of the cells in a woman's body will have one X chromosome inactivated, while the other half inactivates the other chromosome. Researchers found that in about a quarter of mothers who had at least two gay sons every single cell in these women inactivated the same X chromosome while only 4 percent of mothers with no gay sons showed this type of extreme skewing.

A Canadian university study published in June of 2006 stated that, although researchers have known for years that a man's likelihood of being gay rises with the number of older biological brothers, that the new study found that the so-called "fraternal birth order effect" persists even if gay men were raised away from their biological families.

A January 2007 Australian report suggested to be gay you need to receive one gay gene from both parents, and that those with only one gay gene have a selective advantage because they are heterosexual but have increased style, male sex drive, charm and seductiveness towards women.

Answer 9

I dont reckon you are born gay, i am a teenager too, i think i might be bi, but that didnt start till i was 14 or so!!! See there im gay but i dont say i was born Gay!!!

Answer 10

Does it really matter? Why are you so fussed by whether or not you were 'born' gay (or, as the queer theorists say, the 'aetiology of your sexuality'). Two simple things:
- you didn't choose to be gay
- you cannot choose to not be gay
That is really all anyone needs to know. All the rest is speculation.