I so want to divorce my husband and move to a different state. My youngest is a Jr in high school and has gone through the same school system with her friends her whole life. I dont want to move her now. Not to mention, I dont have the money to leave and start somewhere else right now. That is so expensive. I really need to wait till my daughter graduates and hopefully the money will be available then. BUT I WANT TO LEAVE NOW what would u do in my situation?
2007-03-22 12:14:07 · 19 answers · asked by patti p 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why not leave him, but stay in the school district for your daughter? The worst thing my mother ever said to me growing up with a horrible step father was, "I'm staying with him for you guys". That was fine at the moment, however, later in my life, after she finally left him, I had to confront her on this very issue. It wasn't my brother and I keeping her from leaving him...it was her own fears. That she could not make it without him. It'd be expensive. Sound familiar at all?
Leave now. If it is an abusive relationship ~ all the more reason to get your daughter out of the house. You'll leave if you really want to.
2007-03-22 12:20:43 · answer #1 · answered by pilotpat2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as your daughter, she can still keep in contact with her friends. Communicating with others has become so tech advanced and everbody is so accessible now. After High school she would be departing anyway, so it's a matter of sooner than later. She'll make new friends also.
I would research the cost of living in the other state, jobmarket, housing choices/prices, circulate my resume and then make a decision. It might be more affordable than you think. Also, I would make a move during the Summer that way i wouldn't interrupt her academic year. It prepares for an easier transition. If you want to Divorce really bad, I say go find your happiness. You and your husband should talk about this and together discuss this with your daughter if divorce is going to be the course of action. Reassure her that things will be different, but things also will be fine.
2007-03-22 12:50:50 · answer #2 · answered by hatlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if the child is a minor (under 18), in most states, you can't move the minor child more than 90 miles away without his consent or the consent of the courts so that option is probably out. Details are slim but if I were you and that unhappy in your marriage I'd move out on your own. There are shelters in almost every city in america you can stay in. Leave your daughter with her father so that her life isn't affected. If your broke, you can get financial assistance from the courts to get an attorney to file for divorce. While living in the shelter save every penny you can until you have enough to pay rent on a place that you can afford and once the divorce is final, you will know who get's what visitation with the child, who get's what assets and who get's what liabilities.
2007-03-22 12:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by cleazott 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you assume that you will be unhappy if you stay with your husband?
Why not work on being happy with him.
I suspect he is not happy either.
So why not try this, paint a word picture of what happiness looks like. If you can't do this, then it's unlikely a move will make you happy for very long.
But do something else, ask him to also paint a picture of what happiness is.
Then each month, each of you will pledge to consistently do one of the things the other says makes them happy. Adding a new thing each month.
I'll be that by the time your daughter finishes school, the two of you will be happier. If not, pull the handle and eject.
But I suggest making a real commitment to working on happiness during the brief time that your daughter is still in school.
2007-03-22 12:30:32 · answer #4 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until your daughter graduates from school and then maybe you'll have enough money saved to leave then. Chances are maybe your marriage will be better by then and you won't want to leave. You and your husband need to work on your marriage. Alot can happen before your daughter gets to graduate from high school.
2007-03-22 12:25:37 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only have two choices here. Live in misery for another year to save money and to let your daughter finish school or Get a divorce and start a better life of happiness. Which is more important to you?
2007-03-22 12:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your desire to leave has to be more intense than your fear of being broke and starting from scratch. Once your marriage become so unbearable that you no longer care about the kids or the lack of funds of starting over then and only then are you ready to pursue divorce.
Right now your marriage apparently isnt bad enough to make you want to leave and be broke and pull your kids out of school. When it gets that bad then leave.
2007-03-22 12:28:43 · answer #7 · answered by the man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get an apartment with in her school district, then after graduation move. If you can't afford to do that, then I can only suggest you start saving the money now so that you can afford it as soon as possible. Good luck.
2007-03-22 12:21:46 · answer #8 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple mathematics - LEAVE NOW - you are not happy
your daughter will make NEW friends in her NEW school.
she will still get an education, hopefully you will get a job and the money wont be a problem
I am sure that you can ask family or friends for assistance until you get on your own feet - if not there are welfare places out there who can help with accommodation etc
2007-03-22 12:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by boonoora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can stay till your daughter graduates, or you can move out and stay in the area till your daughter graduates then move out of state. Its your decision though, do what is best for you and your kids.
2007-03-22 12:21:48 · answer #10 · answered by cslynn1980 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋