To all you gifted and funny writers out there, can you write a story incorporating these phrases?

Question

1) What in the blue blazes is going on here?
2) You did WHAT?
3) Man Alive! She sho is ugly!!
4)I couldn't tell the difference between....
5)Dr. Sposta's offive was on Spring Street.
6)Hell hath no fury like......

OOPS, the word is "office"not offive!!

Answer 1

Dodge City,Kansas
Circa 1876

It was a Saturday night in Dodge. That in itself usually spells trouble, but tonight was special. Tonight was the SPRING BARN DANCE. Everyone was looking forward to it...especially Miss Sunshine. She had a new dress,a new hairstyle and her new boyfriend....the Marshal of the town....that's right......Matt Dillon. Long the partner of Miss Kitty Russell, he had recently called it off with her and had hooked up with the sweetie from Virginny.

There were two other women in town who also had a hankering for Matt....Silva, the vixen from Vermont, and Chola, the Cutie from Chattanoogie. The first day that Sunshine laid eyes on those two, she thought to herself:(4)"I couldn't tell the difference between them and a couple of hussies from Hoboken." ( I rock.Truely.) Well, she knew that Matt was gaga for her,but still....best to keep her eyes open .

Then there was the matter of Miss Kitty. (6) Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. She was heartbroken over losing Matt. This sadness soon gave way to down and out hatred. It snarled up her face something awful. (3)"Man alive! She sho is ugly," thought Sunshine. Kitty was determined to take revenge on Matt and Sunshine. You best stay clear of angry women with red hair !

Well, the dance finally got under way, a little after 7pm. Matt and Sunshine were late. Matt had needed to speak with the town dentist,Dr. Sposta. (5) Dr. Sposta's office was on Spring Street. Festus was threatening to lodge a suit against him and Matt had wanted to speak with the dr. to get HIS side of the story. According to Festus: "It pears he goughed me a heap more money than he needed to,Matthew. Why, he's gettin' as bad as old Doc." After talking with the dentist, Matt felt confident that things would settle down. As they left Spring Street....Sunshine: "Oh, Matt,darling. You are so good with words." Matt:"That's not all I'm good with,little missy." (Gawd!)

As they arrived at the dance,fashionably late, Matt saw a fight among Chola,Silva and Kitty, break out. (1) "What in the blue blazes is going on here," Matt shouted? It took Newly,Festus and Sam to separate the three women. Kitty:" Matt, these two knuckleheads were trying to tell me that my red hair wasn't natural. It angered me something fierce..so I .....I spiked their punch with some cheap rot gut." (2) "You did WHAT,"asked Matt? Just then Chola and Silva started vomiting in a violent manner. "Somebody help these two.....ladies," Matt said. "I've got some serious loving to do tonight. "Right,Sunshine?" "Right,baby." And with that, they "doe see doed" their way out of the dance to Matt's cot in his office. And they tell me that for miles around a "Yippee Ky AYYYYYYYYY" could be heard......ALL NIGHT LONG♥♥

Answer 2

Sure I can.

Will I? What would be the point?

Answer 3

No.