I am contemplating having an affair. NSA sexual affair. Have no intentions on uprooting my roost at home. My husband has taught me that I am not the first thing on his list for way too many years, I've had his kids, I'm a fantastic mother and professional who needs to feel alive, wants to feel alive. Yes, women have needs. They call it "the urge to spread the seed" for men, but the drive and the desire is all the same, male or female. I don't know what in the world would ever bring that back into my marriage, lingerie? bars? swing? he wouldn't do it....my question is "Why get married at all" , some say b/c they'll never be alone, the financial security, they are "happy" yeah right, if so, you are rare and few...being married isn't natural, I don't care how old of an institution it is, and they call it that for a reason.....why can't we have kids, live together, reap the rewards of it, grow old and have NSA's once in blue blue moon...
2007-03-22 11:59:36 · 11 answers · asked by flipit 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Woman actually cheat more often than is admitted to. However it is not always about sex that woman end up with another man. Lack of interaction at home, the feeling that she needs more physical closeness, or maybe simply because the husband has an affair himself.
Marriage is not for everyone, and as we age, it becomes complaciancy that keeps a marriage together often.
I hope you the best in the future. But before you find "happiness" with a another man, try talking to youe spouse about how things are missing at home. Heck, find a female friend to talk to, you'd be suprised to learn she probably feels the same way.
2007-03-22 12:10:42 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do don't cheat. It doesn't matter what kind you have the roost will not be there when your done. Same with swinging. Not just for the sake of the marriage, but for the kids as well. You need to sit down with your husband and talk about the problems in your relationship. I have a feeling that with all the hustle and bustle of the kids and careers your marriage has taken a hit. And you need to get into counseling. And if that doesn't work a divorce is not such a bad thing. I got one for the exact same problems and found someone who loved me more then his own life.
2007-03-22 21:11:04 · answer #2 · answered by PasoBrio13 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hmm...I'd try being up front first.
Hey, hubby, I have a serious hankering for some action and you're just not giving it to me. It's duh, it's routine and it's "comfortable". I want something new, daring, exciting, thrilling...
And see what his initial reaction is...you never know you might find he's got the same urge. Maybe even a little swinging could be in order. ::shrug::
My only problem with cheating is because it requires lying to the other person and lies are what build the walls that destroy relationships, not the mundania of it all. Right now you're lying about how you feel to him but not being up front and that, itself, has created a wall of sorts.
2007-03-23 11:48:36 · answer #3 · answered by arjo_reich 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya know this one is a morality issue. I don't cheat but our lives are different. I wouldn't cheat on anyone because I respect myself enough not to do to someone else, what I would not want done to me. When I get to the point where I am done like you are and I really don't care what the other person thinks or cares about, its done. Time to go.
be honest with you, are you done or not? Don't stay where you are not happy. Period.
Cheating is so high school!
2007-03-22 19:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If in fact you are not #1 on his list nor will you ever be then why not get a divorce??? You can be successful and happy on your own. I would try talking to him and maybe even try counseling before I would make any harsh decisions. But I do see what you mean about marriage things are different now a days.
If you are going to stay and be unhappy I say go for it and get yourself a pool boy! But be careful that is a very hard path to take and once you do it there is no taking it back. To each's own!!!
2007-03-22 19:14:50 · answer #5 · answered by Brown Eyed Girl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you looking for an affair or should you be thinking divorce?
Have you tried couples therapy? Have you talked with him, I mean really talked? Sometimes after being married and the hussle of career and school, etc., couples tend to forget who they are as "man and wife". Do you go out together? Do you date? Perhaps you could try having an "affair" with your husband before wandering?
2007-03-22 20:15:44 · answer #6 · answered by elimayme 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have a sit down Honest talk with him - You are married so explain all of this to him - Hopefully together you both can come up with some answers - See if you both could seek help together -- Honesty is the way --
Married women cheat because their lonely
2007-03-22 19:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by pattijohughes 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WHY ARE YOU LYING????
You should at leave your husband first, fair is fair, IF this is even true. 2 weeks ago you said you were a 24 yr old unmarried MALE and went out with an older female doctor with big boobs who hit on you, and last week you asked if you should move with your kids and hubby to Italy.
Its all on the asker's profile...folks
2007-03-22 19:07:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mark P. 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you should go on one of the ever-famous talk shows with that !
There's a late night show on TV that deals exactly on that subject. If your guy doesn't give you the attention you desire, communication has to be the answer.
2007-03-24 18:50:05 · answer #9 · answered by Joy h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont give up ..do u have a pastor, u may want to have a talk with,go to some marriage seminars..i see lacking of affection here ..need to start dating again.. cheating will only leave regrets and scars...see if there is any sparks left ..u never knows..
2007-03-22 19:16:47 · answer #10 · answered by ron c 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋