I have my husband with 2 sons, but I feel unhappiness because I found I was in fact a lesbian after I lived with my husband for 4 years . To find my true love, I join one great lesbian dating club http://www.ldate.com/i/lesbianclub and incredible that I found my soul mate about one month later. She also love me very much. We had a great online chat and I could not wait to have a chat with her face to face. After having a face to face chat with her, she said she could not live without me, she wanted me to marry her asap. I also would like to marry her, but should I desert my husband and two sons? Please tell me how to deal with the problem, I am really in a bad mood and do not know how to do.
2007-03-22 11:55:49 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No keep him and her. He'll be happy as a clam if you let him get in the middle of the action!
2007-03-22 12:08:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never mind your husband, he is incedental in all of this, he doesn't matter at all. I would have 0 consideration of his feelings too. Feel free to lie to him and have an afair behind his back, it's good for the kids to learn about marital infidelity also.
Me thinks you've been less than honest with them. I can understand being gay; but the reality is you chose a man to be with and now you want to bail because you feel different now. How will you feel tommorrow? Or the day after that? Are you a kleenex in the wind? Maybe you should understand yourself a little better before you jump headlong into another relationship.
And you met and fell in love with your "soul mate" online in a month? What does a lesbian bring on a second date? UHaul! Get used to that joke.
2007-03-22 12:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by guy o 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have some deep rooted problems with open honesty towards your spouse; The fact that you're living a secret double life without any apparent discussion or communication with your current significant other really seems to point to this.
Chances are you're infatuated with what the promise of 'something new/something else' this woman presents, rather than the reality. The flash, glam, and 'newness' intoxicates so much that one doesn't view the grander scope.
I strongly suggest couples counciling, and personal preperation for some straight and honest talk between yourself and your husband, potentially with a licenced and private (aka confidential) moderator.
2007-03-22 12:06:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats awful. Listen, remember you have 2 sons. They are number 1. Not your lover. If you are not happy, tell your husband, but make sure you are there for your 2 sons always. Your husband migh tbe very angry, and I cannot blame him. This time, you are mostly wrong, for marrying someone and yet you had lesbian tendencies. Then having 2 children with him. If you decide to leave, be gentle with your husband, and dont get defensive. And remember your sons.
2007-03-22 12:06:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your kids will be devestated. Being married and having a family is not about you! If people wern't so darn selfish and thinking of only their own happiness there would be a lot less divorce and a whole lot less messed up kids in this world! Ya know what. Dwell on what makes them happy and see what happens. You will be happy too. Unless you have no love for your family. Marriage is sacred. Anyone who breaks those vows will be held accountable on judgement day. Your family is about family not about you. Grow up and quit playing on the internet and be a mom and a wife. If you are having problems in your marriage which we all do-seek help, talk to your husband. I think you need to work on your family and what they need as a whole. Not just what you selfishly want. remember, when you marry and have children it is no longer about you anymore.
2007-03-22 12:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are absolutely positive that you are a lesbian, and not just looking to experiment, then go for it. Why would you leave your sons behind, you could at least get joint custody of them. You might be leaving a loving husband, or a jerk, you didn't say. Good luck whatever you decide.
2007-03-22 12:03:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you have is lust and boredom to experiment because it is not true love what you have.it takes time and commitment to develop true love by getting to know a person and spend time with the person.probably exactly what you did with your husband.if you were a real lesbian you wouldn't have married and had 2 children.if you are willing to destroy a wonderful gift of a family because you think you fell in love(within a month by the way)with someone you really don't know,then what you need is counselling. and of course you will have to abandon your family if you decide to marry this woman whom you really don't know."i can't believe you want to marry someone after one month of computer chat and a couple of face to faces"cmon lady get real.you really need counselling!!!
2007-03-22 12:10:42 · answer #7 · answered by wolverine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont jump into a relationship so Quickly! because your already married" Remember dont trust someone so easily either to desert your family.make sure this is not just a temporary fix to cover up what you maybe emotionally missing from your husband either.Good Luck!
2007-03-22 12:08:23 · answer #8 · answered by Oraetta A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are unhappy with you marrige leave. But be sure to get to know the woman really personally such as living with her and things like that before you go and marry her. Try to explain to your husband about her and then keep him as a friend that would be best for your sons if they have parents that are friends just dont love each other like they once did.
Good luck
2007-03-22 12:02:35 · answer #9 · answered by tiffers 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG!!! What on earth can a friggin lesbian do for you that a man cant plus some?
I will never understand lesbianism as long as i live.
A man can do all a woman can and then some.
U girls must not have had a real man to want a woman.
Good grief.
2007-03-22 12:36:33 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you are confused, although you may not love your husband, you should never ever under any circumstances desert your children. You should probably seek professional counseling. However if you do not care about your children then you are a bad mother anyways, so go ahead & leave them for your new gf
2007-03-22 12:28:28 · answer #11 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋