Scared to have kids...please help?

Question

Yesterday, my mom found out she has to have a Histerectomy, and is scared to have it done because it is surgery, but I told her to think that she will never have to have periods nemore. She told me that from after having kids, some women need to have one.

I just got married on June 17, 2006 and am 21 years old. Until yesterday, I was excited to have kids one day and I was just scared to give labor WHEN I do get pregnant, but now that my mom is having a Histerectomy, it makes me scared that I will need one when Im older and so now I am scared to have kids. I'm 21, young ,and me and my husband want kids and I shouldnt have to worry about this! Is this hereditary needing one of these?

I am just so sad for my mom that I have been crying since yesterday. She said her doctor told her that her uterus is falling out. the doctor found this out when she had those pap smears done and the doctor had her push down and she felt it very low.

Answer 1

Your mom's hysterectomy doesn't necessarily mean you will have to have one too. That depends entirely on why she had to have one, and on whether you have inherited those paricular genes from her, or from your dad' side of the family.
Most hysterectomies don't result from pregnancies, but rather from tumors, from the lining of the uterus thickening, or from other reasons. So don't associate this with having children because that correlation just isn't there.
Ask your mom more about why she is having this surgery -- and you can reassure her that with hormone replacement therapy, she isn't going to go into instant menopause, and she will feel better than she has for a long time. And she should be reassured that her doctor isn't doing this unnecessarily -- there are very strict regulations concerning hysterectomies and other surgeries, so if she has been told she needs it, then there is a good reason for it.
Sometimes women have excessive bleeding, or periods that last for several weeks, and a hysterectomy is the only way to solve the problem. Again, if that is the case, she will feel soooo much better after, because all that blood loss lead to anemia, weakness, irritability, etc.etc.etc. But that doesn't have anything to do with having children either.
If you and your husband want children, you should have them while you are both young and healthy, so you can have a long, loving lifetime with them.
Best of luck to your mom -- it's a scary time for her, but it shouldn't cast a shadow on you.

Answer 2

The chances of needing a hysterectomy after childbirth are very low. You would have to have experienced some sort of complication during delivery such as hemorrhaging or perhaps developing an infection in your uterus if part of the placenta is left behind.

MOST women have children and never need a hysterectomy. As far as whether or not it could be hereditary I can't say for sure. However, I think that would depend on WHY your mother needs a hysterectomy. I would mention this concern to your doctor the next time you are in and hopefully they can put your mind at ease. :)

Answer 3

I could see why you might be nervous. If you are excited about have babies, don't let this stop you. Every person is different, and there are a lot of people who don't ever have to get a histerectomy. My entire family, everyone has kids, and no one has had to get one. Plus I'm sure you're mother really likes the fact of having grand children one day. It is completely your choice. I am 22 and have two little girls and no matter what surgery, or anything I might have to face, I wouldn't regret it at all. I love my kids so much and would do anything for them. Hope that helped you out somewhat. Hope you decide to have kids, they are little angels.

Answer 4

You didn't mention why your mom is having a hysterectomy. It could be for any number of reasons. Did your mom say why it had to be done?

Hysterectomies are major sugery. I can see why your mom is scared. However, it's something many women undergo.

Talk to your gynecologist. Ask if there is any medical reason why you shouldn't have kids. You are so young, I doubt there is. Yes, someday you may have to have one. Who knows? If your doctor gives the all clear, have kids! It's a very rewarding experience.

I decided not to have children for several reasons. I did not have a hysterectomy though. I underwent sterilization.

Your mom might have fibroids or endometriosis. There are many things that could necessitate a hysterectomy. If you think there might be some genetic link, you need to ask your mom. Even better, go with her to the doctor so you can ask questions. I wish you luck.

Answer 5

Histerectomies really aren't that big of a deal. You will be fine. After bearing a child you will feel much differently. Don't be scared. Also, I would recommend getting an epidural when you do have your first baby. It really isn't that bad. It's a natural thing for a womans boday. It's wonderful your married at 21. I also want to tell you to have your babies while you are young becasue the older you get the riskier it is to have babies with defects and diseases and stuff. Good luck and you'll be fine.

Answer 6

Out of all the women I know with children only one has had to have a hysterectomy, and she had that due to complications of her labor. I also know a couple of other women that had hysterectomies, that were caused by cancer. If you really fear you might have to have this procedure as the result of child bearing, talk to your doctor. BTW, the woman that had the complication with her pregnancy and had to have a c-section and hysterectomy was my mother when my sister was born. They both almost died, but if I had let fear of that keep me from having kids, I wouldn't have my two beautiful sons today :)

Answer 7

No, it's not hereditary. Also, having children doesn't make you "need" a hysterectomy later in life. I know of three women who have had one and they've never had children. A lot of women who have hysterectomies do so because of fibroids, uterine prolapse, cancer, endometrosis and other reasons. Some of these conditions/diseases are hereditary, but that doesn't mean you'll get them. You are not an exact genetic blueprint of your mother.

Answer 8

Having children is not a reason for a hysterectomy. She has to have something wrong with her uterus, to require the surgery.
This is something that you need to find out the correct answers for, so you will stop worrying.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

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