do chores, and I should not make him do chores for money. He has read online that chores are to be seperate from allowance, he also couldn't agree more. He will not do any chores, keep his room clean or keep up with school! What do you guys think? Should he do chores, if yes what kind and should I just give him money without earning it? (He's almost 14)
2007-03-22 11:33:16 · 15 answers · asked by momofmany 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
School should be his first responsibility and I don't believe in paying kids to do their school work. He is old enough that he needs responsibility at home. Use some type of punishment when he doesn't complete his chores. Be firm and consistent. He will soon understand what he needs to do.
2007-03-22 11:43:54 · answer #1 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that chores and allowance are separate issues. Chores are a non-negotiable part of being an active family member. There is no choosing whether or not to do chores, you live in the house you help take care of it--end of story. A 13 year old boy should be keeping his own room clean. He can also help with laundry, dusting, vacuuming, dishes, etc.
As far as allowance goes, I think that teaching kids good money management is one of our jobs as parents. He should have some money that he is in charge of, and he should learn how to save up for something that he really wants. When we were younger we got a dollar for each year old we were per month (so at 13 it would be $13/month).
2007-03-22 11:46:32 · answer #2 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's not even closed to being a man yet. He should do chores still and you shouldn't have to ask him to do them. Also, he should not recieve allowance for doing chores. I think what you should do is tell him that he either needs to get his act together or get his act OUT if he think he's old enough to sit around and do nothing. Do not give him any money for a while and tell him that he needs to earn it ON HIS OWN by getting a job. Now, honestly, remember that if you tell him he needs to leave if he wants to be his own boss, he may actually leave! Plus, he may actually try to get a job too. Another thing to remember is that he is going through the stage in which he believes he is a MAN and that he should be allowed to do what ever he wants, yetstill, he will come to you when he is in need. Also, he is probably going through peer pressure in which his friends claim that they do not have to any chores and that they get money when they want it.
2007-03-22 11:54:21 · answer #3 · answered by Silent Jay 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, he may have read that he shouldn't do chores for money but he's snowing you about what that means. It means he should be doing chores just because he's part of the family.
And that's true. He should also be doing chores because they teach him how to maintain a household, something he will be doing one day.
As far as the money thing, some people tie allowance to chores, some people don't. The best advice I ever heard was to go half and half. He gets half of his allowance because he is a part of the family and half is tied to his chores.
One thing though, don't just give him money. Teach him how to manage it. Make him put ten percent into savings, and give ten percent to charity. The rest he can do with what he likes but if he runs out, he runs out. I so wish my parents had done that with me.
2007-03-22 12:14:13 · answer #4 · answered by Sharon M 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Being a part of a family is the same as being a part of any community, you have to contribute to get any benefits. I would start there. My boys all have chores that are just part of being part of the family and then other chores that are extra and earn them money. Rooms and laundry are just part of being a member of the family and necessary for the household to function. If you don't clean you room and help with laundry, I don't take you anywhere, including sports practices.
As a parent I am obligated to feed you, clothe you and see to your education. No law states that I have to feed you what you like, clothe you in cool clothes or do anything above and beyond. You earn your way in the world and doing so now helps you learn to earn your way in society. If more kids had chores and responsibilities at home, our society wouldn't be so full of people who can't take care of themselves and expect to have life given to them.
Stick to your guns and set the rules. He is a minor, under your rules until he can support himself.
2007-03-22 12:52:26 · answer #5 · answered by Devaneymom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have to comment on this one, simply put he should do chores because he eats the food you buy, he sleeps in a bed you paid for and he wears the clothes that you paid for. Would he rather go naked, hungry, and have no shelter. The least he can do is pickup after himself, help with chores and take out trash and keep up on his school work. In all this where is the father, in my home I rule the roost. When I tell him to do something he would do it without condition. Don't back down.
2007-03-22 12:37:51 · answer #6 · answered by Georgia Preacher 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i agree that chores are separate from allowance because when you get older you still have to do chores like when you go away to college and live own your own and no one pays you to do them you just have to. I think you could try linking his behavior to allowance such as listening to you and following the rules (like curfews) and he's responsiblity with money. What does he spend his money own? Useful things? Make sure he saves some and know the value of a good dollar.
2007-03-22 11:54:14 · answer #7 · answered by teinegurl 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Look at it this way: if he's not obligated to pitch in around the house and clean up after himself, you are also not obligated to give him an allowance. If he wants money for something, he has to ask for it--which gives you ultimate control over what he buys, since you would probably ask what he's spending that $20 on before you gave it to him.
Part of the priviledge of earning an allowance is the freedom to spend it on whatever the earner chooses. If the person earning the allowance decides he doesn't need to work for it, then the person paying the allowance is more than free to decide she doesn't need to pay it. Personal responsibility doesn't start in the world; it starts in the home.
2007-03-22 11:51:07 · answer #8 · answered by shoujomaniac101 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should make a chart with all chores he has to do on it ( brushing teeth and hair cleaning etc.) and when he does one of them tell him to check it off and give him 1.00 for each one he does good ( at least 1 or 2 chores per day ) and if he does not do one do not give him the dollar for it and then at the end of the week count how many he has done good and then give him as much more as you would like too. also you should at least give him a few extra dollars for extra spending money! hope i help!!!
2007-03-22 11:56:28 · answer #9 · answered by Moonshine 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
the thing i see wrong with this is you are debating with him you are the parent you set the rules
he is the child he fallows the rules
yes he should have chores they teach him how to do things in life he need to learn how to take care of himself unless you want him to always live with you so you can always clean up after him
2007-03-22 13:15:12 · answer #10 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋