any suggestions on what I should do?

Question

Okay...the basics-I'm 29 been married for 10 years now.
the problem:I no longer am sexually attracted to my wife but she is still very sexually attracted to me.Don't get me wrong,I love her very much and do want to stay married to her,but I'm not sure about what to do about the sexual attraction thing.I could never see myself cheating on her with another woman although more increasingly I find myself thinking about just that.
I'm not sure if I should say something to her about me not having high sexual feelings toward her anymore or not.
we have tried alot of experimentation in the bedroom. things like toys and those types of things,but still when we do have intercourse I never get off.Is this normal after being married for ten years?suggestions please.....

I've been to the doctor about this problem and he says everything is fine with my health

Answer 1

Lay down on the couch, and let Dr. Old Fart have a shot. First, congratulations on achieving a ten year marriage. That's no small accomplishment. I think what you are dealing with is acute growing up. You are gonna be thirty soon, and you probably aren't playing pro football, running your own corporation, and haven't declared for the Presidency. You still remember the early twenties, but even though you feel the same, now you actually enjoy a quiet evening at home. Your wife isn't that hot girl you took to the prom, heck, she's nearly thirty!!! You're too young to be with somebody that old- wait a minute, she's a year younger than you. Sir, what's happening is that you haven't died, so you are getting older. And changing. So, of course your marriage changes too. Since you love your wife, you'll be fine. Talk to her. She's the person who'll help you fix this. I guarantee that she IS aware that things aren't great. This problem, while certainly not trivial, is nothing like the scenarios she's worrying about. A good wife can fix almost anything, so, it's time to find out if your wife is the good wife for you. Tell her- now. She can't help, if you don't give her a chance.

Answer 2

I believe there's a little more to this story that you are telling. You haven't specified WHY you aren't attracted to her anymore and I suspect there may be something going on going on in your life that you aren't disclosing...perhaps an unfulfilled need...perhaps an addition...perhaps an inappropriate friendship.

What you describe is not normal and you may need professional assistance. In the mean, I'm sure you can enjoy the affection from you wife...I mean is the experience really that unpleasant?

One last thing...you and your wife and a communication problem. You need to work this out...it maybe that she tries to show you physical affection when maybe your needs are different...you need to get in touch with each other's "love language". For me, physical affection is very important but words of affirmation and acts of service are more important to my wife. She knows my needs and I know hers and it has made us much happier...check ot the website below for more info.

Answer 3

That's what most women do after they get married, they let themselves go because they don't think they shouldn't have to be attractive for anyone anymore. They allo think they should be loved because of what's inside...That is true, but atraction is what drew you to each other. Have you discussed this with her? If so, what happened?

Answer 4

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but your problem has more to do with YOU than with you being sexually attracted to your wife. I suggest you go visit your physician and discuss YOUR problem with the doctor.

Answer 5

Sounds psychological. Perhaps a therapist of some sort might be able to help. Good luck!

Answer 6

STOP LOOKING AT PORN!!!! YOU'RE GOING THRU WHAT THEY CALL THE SEVEN YEAR ITCH YOUR THREE YEARS AHEAD. YOU GOT MARRIED YOUNG AND IN THIS DAY AND AGE MARRIAGES ARE A THING OF THE PAST...THERES TO MUCH SEX ON TV AND THE LADIES OF TODAY HIT ON THE GUYS INSTEAD OF US HITTING ON THEM. YOU ARE PEAKING AT YOUR TESTERONE LEVEL AND YOU WANT A WOMAN WHO CAN ROCK YOUR WORLD. GET AN ESCORT PLAY IT SAFE...THERES NO COMMITTMENT...JUST HIT IT AND GO HOME. IF YOU BECOME A SEX ADDICT AS I ONCE WAS YOU WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED. YOU WILL ALWAYS WANT MORE OF A WOMAN UNTIL YOU FIND THE ONE WHO IS GOING TO WEAR YOU OUT INSTEAD OF YOU WEARING HER OUT. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THRU. BELIEVE ME ITS NOT WORTH THE BS OR THE MONEY. IF THE WOMAN YOU LOVE LOVES YOU THEN YOU ARE DOING YOUR JOB AS A HUSBAND IF YOU WANT SOME FREAK WHO CAN GIVE A RATS *** ABOUT YOU, ONLY TO TAKE YOU TO THE CLEANERS THAN THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE. IF THATS WHAT YOU WANT? THEN BE PREPARED TO SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. CHILD SUPPORT, SPOUSAL SUPPORT, KNOCKING UP ANOTHER FEW HO'S BECAUSE OF YOUR SEX DRIVE! IT CAN BE COSTLY AND DEVESTATING FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. SO THINK LONG AND HARD ABOUT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT OUT OF LIFE. TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY AND BE AN EXAMPLE AS A LOVING HUSBAND AND FATHER....PAPA HANK

Answer 7

you need professional help