I am 30 weeks (7 1/2 months) pregnant and my boyfriend???

Question

hi, okay I am 30 weeks pregnant and this is our 2nd child together. We aren't married only because of Insurance would be too expensive and we wouldn't be able to afford it as a married couple. Okay...sooooooo I have gained 30 lbs since the pregnancy. and my boyfriend (husband) hasn't had sex with me not once since we became pregnant. Even before that I had to tell him I was ovulating so we could have sex. He has no interest in me Whatsoever in a sexual way. Yes, we kiss each other goodmorning and goodnight...but nothing else. What should I do?? Being pregnant I am sooo very emotional about this. I have told him how I feel and he makes me believe that we are going to start having sex again but it Doesn't ever happen. Isn't it weird that my signifigant other doesn't want me sexually? And no, he isn't cheating on me.

Answer 1

I have had the same problem but I was married at the time. Now we are divorced but I know that the reason my ex and I didnt have sex while I was pregant was because he was afraid that having sex would hurt the baby and I was also considered a high risk pregancy so that was our reasons if I was you than I would sit down with him and talk things over let him know exactly how you feel and how it makes you feel not being able to make love to him. Ask him what the problem is and if there is anything that the both of you could do to work this problem out and come to an understaning that you both can except

Answer 2

Hi D's Mom, while it is certainly "weird" that your partner doesn't want to make love to you during your pregnancy, it isn't all that uncommon. But reading over your mail again, it seems as if it's not just happening now. I absolutely understand your frustration, especially since you're on the emotional rollercoaster during pregnancy but right now there really isn't much you can do. Once you deliver the baby though, I suggest you both see a therapist. This may surprise you but there are actually a lot of men out there that, while they still love their wifes/girlfriends very much, they are just not interested in sex. I wouldn't do the therapy while you are so hormonal though, because you will probably break out in tears and that will only make matters worse for you, not to speak of the little life inside you. Yes, they do feel your emotions, thus it wouldn't be good for either one of you. You seem to be pretty certain that there isn't another person behind this, as you mention that he isn't cheating on you. Enough said! It's not that he "gets it" elsewhere, it's just that he isn't in to having sex. Yes, this is not the answer you wanted or needed, you probably feel as if you are just a "breeder" for his children but this is all I can offer right now. If you can stand it (without getting too emotional), try to talk to him, or even try and initiate intimacy. Being pregnant and having gained weight should not be an issue. Quite the contrary! Most men find a pregnant woman incredibly sexy, so don't let that hold you back. Being sexy has nothing to do with a size 4 body. You can be sexy in many ways. It is about the look in your eyes, the soft tone of your voice, the swing of your hips (even now during pregnancy you can do that :) and feel good about it), a featherlight touch and sweet little kisses. All that amounts to being and feeling sexy; however, if he still does not respond, there might be a deeper problem. And like I said, try and find a good counselor in your area (goggle the word counselor or therapist and go from there) that both of you can talk to. If you don't want to wait, then go and do it now but remember what I said in the beginning, right now you might be especially prone to tears and that won't help much. As a matter of fact, if he really does love you the way you say, it is probably hurting him to see you hurt and knows that you feel rejected by him. In that case, for him to see you cry about the "rejection" will only make it worse. He will start feeling like a failure for putting you through that and might totally clam up. Not on purpose, but that's just the way humans work. And above all, you already have little D. (I assume that's his/her name) who probably feels all the tension this must cause. Try and relax D's Mom, enjoy your pregnancy, give extra attention to D. and if that still isn't enough, start a hobby (like scrapbooking for example) or take up dancing (yes, even pregnant :) and in the kitchen) or whatever else may relax you. Good luck with your family and I hope you can resolve the issue without losing your partner or compromising what sounds like a wonderful relationship otherwise. MsB.
P.S. Sorry for being so lengthy but I wanted you to really get my points for all of your sakes. :)

Answer 3

you MUST talk to him! Ask questions (be very specific... guys do not understand implied questions) and tell him how you feel. From there, you can figure out. Assure him that it is perfectly healthy to gain that much weight pregnant and when you deliever the baby the weight will be lost!! Take him to your Dr. appt with you, let him hear from the Dr that it can be healthy to have sex, that it wont hurt the baby, that your weight is healthy and beautiful.... some men may just need to hear things from other people, and a Dr. opinion should be the best one to listen to!

Answer 4

Some men feel that they dont want to have sex while there wife/girlfriend is pg. it is normal for him to feel this way. even though a lot is changing for you there is a lot changing for him too. he could have a lot on his mind. I mean seriously if it were you turning him down all the time would you think twice. are you initiating sex with foreplay or anything? maybe he figure that if your not initiating anything you dont feel like doing anything??

Answer 5

my question to you is: was he like this with your first pregnancy? If he was, than thats just him. some guys feel like theyre going to hurt the baby or something( i dont know, i think they think their penis is a deadly weapon), anyway, if he wasnt like this the first time around, then I would sit him down and talk to him. something else could be bothering him. You said you had to tell him you were ovulating inorder to get im to give you some. maybe he wasnt ready for another child?

Answer 6

well I've never been in your position but my advice would be try your damnedest to seduce him one night.