Hi everyone. I know there are some really light hearted questions, etc on here, but I have quite a serious quertion, and I'd appreciate any advice.
Basically the situation is this: my brothers girlfriend is pregnant. She has dumped him because she was told he was snogging other girls and flirting when he was out with mates one night.
My bro insists he is innocent and I believed him, although I had my suspicions before. I hacked my brothers emails (boohiss yes I am mean) and sure enough I found more than one 'suspect' email. Basically there was a msg in his history asking this girl to come over when he had a free house.
I have now refused to stick up for my brother - I refuse to try and get his girlfriend to change her mind. I wouldn't stay with someone who cheated on me baby or no. and now I know my brother has lied so why should I defend him?
Now everyone is asking why I am not defending my brother. What can I say? Please help. This is driving me crazy!!
2007-03-22 10:16:16 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
when people ask u y u arent defending your brother just tell the its not your situation its not ur place to get involved. tell ur friends that u have advised them to deal wit this situation on their own
2007-03-22 10:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by cutie123 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my brothers were 12 and 13, one did a wrestling bodyslam on the other and it broke his arm at the elbow (backwards, in towards the part that doesn't bend), severing the veins. He had to spend 2 weeks in the hospital getting his arm reconstructed, and the guilt that that kid felt over seeing his brother in the hospital every day made it so he never got physical with him again. My parents didn't punish him, there was no need, it was an accident while roughhousing and he felt bad enough about it. Accidents happen when boys do boy things, which unfortunately include fighting. I would have a talk with him and see what he feels about it - if he isn't remorseful, take something of his away like his phone or computer.
2016-03-29 00:01:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u r doing the right thing u brother should come clean, If he admits to all this maybe this Innocent child can have a better future. Both parents should take up responsibilities for this,this poor little child does not have to go through hell when they come to this world. I think that they two should settle their differences and start preparing for this child's future whether they decide to stick together or not. A baby is a great gift not that many people can have kids, So they really need to talk or just let by gones be by gones for the sake of the baby.
2007-03-22 11:09:51 · answer #3 · answered by Bluey07 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should give your brother chance to explain,
which probably is not wise if he found out you invaded his privacy and got the wrong end of the stick.
Ask yourself has your brother ever let you down, and why you feel it okay and try and build a case against him rather than support him. What ever he has done he might be able to rectify his mistakes, you wil just make this harder by driving a wedge between him and his ex now. Think about it what would your brother do if boot was on other foot.
2007-03-23 04:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by Brain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go ahead and be honest with YOUR brother! Other than that it's no ones business! You do not want to be caught up in the middle of this, believe me. It's your brothers place to take care of his own business and mistakes, not you! If he's old enough to make babies, he's old enough to take on the responsibilities of his actions. So, I think it's time your brother grows up real fast like! Just tell people it's between him and his gf, not you and the world!
2007-03-22 10:24:20 · answer #5 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello friend tricky situation,well lets break it down
1. the problem lies with your bro and his girlfriend whatever decision they've made they have to deal with the consequences.
2.if she's pregnant the child has to be priority
3. ma be you need to come clean to your bro about what you found out through your bro email you could say i don't agree with what you've done, but at the end of the day your still brothers he still has a responsibility towards the unborn child.
4.as for the others you are not accountable to them, if they press you you might say that you love your bro but they have to resolve the problem at hand.
5. i feel at the end of the day it's the feeling of mis-trust which is eating away at you talk to him most of all listen to him, get your peace and clear your conscience good-luck friend
2007-03-22 12:05:55 · answer #6 · answered by lloydpaul2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just come clean to your brother - I know he will hate you for interferring in his private life - but tell him you can't defend him any more due to his behaviour.
Try to get him to grow up......... i mean there is a baby on the way here, and if all possible try to comfort his ex-girlfriend she must be going through hell!
Your brother has a lot of maturing to do......... and he better start now!
Sophia
2007-03-22 10:28:41 · answer #7 · answered by Sophia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this is your brothers situation not yours. In second place she should not take him back.Even if shes pregnant, if they are not together doesnt mean he cant be in babies life as an active father figure. You should stay out of it , letting them deal with their problem. The important thing is that the baby will have both of his/her parents, together or not. You can be a shoulder for your brother to cry on but its not for you to try and fix the relationship. Be impartial.
2007-03-22 11:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by mad123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand how you feel as i would probally be exactly the same. However from past experience.. i would stay neutral, as the chances are your brother and his ex girlfriend could well get back together once the baby is born, which could cause friction for you. So i would take a back seat for a while and let them two get on with their own in differences and that way you cant get blamed for taking sides.
2007-03-22 11:20:56 · answer #9 · answered by tinker33 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont worry I have had a very similar situation with my brother so I know what you mean completely. I stopped defending him to the pregnant girlfriend too. He got mad at me but he got over it eventually. Brother or not...he was wrong and did her wrong and I was not going to support him in that type of behavior. God bless and good luck
2007-03-22 10:21:00 · answer #10 · answered by sapphireblaze 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am with the ones who say don't get involved - his problem, his girlfriend, his baby. That way you are not shielding him from taking responsability.
That's all you have to say - you feel it is between them, and you don't want to interfere, which is pretty much the case anyway.
I think these people have a nerve trying to persuade his girlfriend - this is something she needs to be sure of, not persuaded into
2007-03-22 11:49:32 · answer #11 · answered by tagette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋