My husband is funny, active, hard-working at work and at home. He tells me he loves me everyday, but at the same time feels that marriage is a institution of obligation?? He isn't really affected by my feelings and has told me that I'm lucky to be with him, that he doesn't want to be like me (doesn't admire me). But now, I'm so resentful that now I'm angry! I don't agree with his values, his way of dealing with love and people, his character or his conversation. Though when we were dating I thought he was awesome. Now he doesn't get me and doesn't take an interest in me at all. He's an emotional island where the only things that matters are his own feelings. I could be totally unhappy being with him and he would find a way to be happy no matter what. He actually said that. I don't get it. Is this just a MAN being a man or someone who refuses to let anyone in? Does he know what love is or maybe he just doesn't love me....I'm just unhappy and tired of feeling like this.
2007-03-22 10:05:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I read the Narcissistic Personality Disorder traits...that's not him. Actually I think I have more traits of that than him.....haha
2007-03-22 10:35:15 · update #1
He sounds narcissistic. Look this up on wikipedia or on some psychology sites. People who are narcissistic are very self-focused and are easily bored by most people. They always want an audience and also like to be the sun around which lesser personalities revolve. They can be generous, but only as a style. In essence they are very selfish people.
2007-03-22 10:11:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you willing to live the rest of your life with a person who tolerates you because it's his marital obligation, but doesn't respect or value you as a person? I wouldn't......and neither should you. That kind of mental anguish is not something I would wish upon my worst enemy so this begs the question, why is your husband, the man who is supposed to love and honor you, treating you like garbage without any concern for your feelings?
2007-03-22 10:13:06 · answer #2 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds narcissistic, not funny at all.
"The simplest everyday way that narcissists show their exaggerated sense of self-importance is by talking about family, work, life in general as if there is nobody else in the picture. Whatever they may be doing, in their own view, they are the star, and they give the impression that they are bearing heroic responsibility for their family."
http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/index.html
2007-03-22 10:14:39 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, it's not you. That's really true this time. It's not a guy thing. It's a "your husband" thing. I think he may have some sort of personality disorder. Tell him how unhappy you are, and ask him to go to marriage therapy with you. Tell him that he may not think you need it, but ask him to go with you anyway. He sounds like an odd one!
2007-03-22 10:12:19 · answer #4 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A marriage struggles along if only one party is committed to the relationship. when the two become disenchanted with the relationship that is the death blow to the marriage.Your husband is selfish, and I believe deep inside he is an immature and petulant little boy who has refused to grow up, and now he is married. Marriage is not for boys and girls, as we are all beginning to discover ,but for adults. |Your husband needs professional help to right himself
2007-03-22 10:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by jokimben_el 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he feels its all about obligation, and if he isn't doing it from the heart why bother. if he is finding fault, he may not really be in love with u at all, maybe he just doesn't know how to show it, some men don't. have u considered marriage counseling? if u love him talk to him, be honest with your feelings.
2007-03-22 10:47:19 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He simply has a different way of seeing things but if you dont agree with him and its affecting you then leave. He's one of those people that dont care and you are... this is very unhealthy and could be dangerous. He sounds kind of sketchy... Leave his *** for your own good.
2007-03-22 10:14:31 · answer #7 · answered by itsSCIENCE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you didnt noticed how selfcentered he is before getting married. Talk to him about your thoughts and feelings, yo have the right to say good bye if you are not learning possitive things.
2007-03-22 10:11:16 · answer #8 · answered by Marquel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try this. Each mornign you get up, think what can I do to make his life easier and happier today. He will respond to this. You will feel better too. Actions usually precede feelings. Give it a try
2007-03-22 10:32:37 · answer #9 · answered by megan261980 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl; guys arnt as mushy gushy as girls
GIRLS=MENTAL
GUYS=VISUAL
remember that!
but if he really isnt like that inside and u dont feel comforable with him then dont bother becuz ull just end up with depression in the end.. and depression leads to anger and anger=.... u know... you can try 2 change his way of thinking of u truely love him and want him 2 change; if he doesnt then hes not the one
best of luck!
2007-03-22 10:12:56 · answer #10 · answered by tonynguyen244 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋