Should I do it?advice please?

Question

I just had a baby 3 months ago, now i just found out Im pregnent again.my fiance doesent want me
to have it and thinks i should get an abortion.
I must admit were not ready for another one yet.
but i dont think I could forgive myself if i got an abortion.ADVICE PLEASE

Answer 1

If you dont think you will be able to forgive yourself, than dont do it. At least your babies will be close and will play well with each other.

Answer 2

Go with your true gut feeling. I almost had an abortion with my son, who I was TRULY not ready for, but he is 2 1/2 now, and I wouldn't trade him for $50 million. However, if you are going to keep the baby, you also have to think about whether or not you are going to keep your fiancee. You don't want him to raise a baby he truly does not want- the child will sense it. Where was birth control? Did you know that over 30% of women get pregnant again within 6 months of having their first baby? Your body is more susceptible because you have just delivered, and your body is still prepared for pregnancy. Good luck, I am sure this is a hard situation for you and your fiancee.

Answer 3

WOW!!! That's crazy, well your Body is still mending from having your Baby so I don't think Abortion is the answer. There is always Adoption or Have the baby, well really we on here are know one to tell what to do but just talk to your Fiance about it having 2 kids is not that bad but then yet I'm not to sure how old you are and what kind of Financial situation your in so..... Good Luck just speak your mind and hopefully all goes well, and may God be with you . Always remember God never give you what he thinks you can't handle .

Answer 4

Don't ask random strangers for advice on such an important issue. Do whatever will make your life work out the way you want it to. I'm almost certain that if you have this baby, you will not be able to give it up for adoption. Once you hold it and think of it as your existing baby's sibling, you won't be able to give it away. So ignore those who say you should have it and give it up. Face the fact that if you have the baby, you will be the one raising it. Then decide what that will do to your life, your relationships, your future plans. Make a balanced decision, and don't let anyone try to guilt you into choosing one way or another.

Answer 5

i just had a D&C on Tuesday to remove a dead fetus and the emotional pain is enourmous as is the physical pain. I can't imagine the pain of having one knowing the baby was alive and healthy. IF you are not ready for another one, give it up for adoption - it was a choice the two of you made to have unprotected sex so soon after having a baby. I assume you will do what is best for you - just sharing my story. I am still moping around the house greiving the lost future of my child.

Answer 6

If you couldn't live with yourself you have answered your own question. Seriously if you have any doubts don't do it, it WILL haunt you.

I am pro-choice but I really think that for most women it isn't an option that is good for mental health. You could also consider adoption. A mom in my parenting group got pregnant with twins right after loosing one of her previous set of twin at 4 months (the baby had a genetic condition incompatable with life, it was expected though still sad). She is giving up this set, she just isn't ready. I don't know if that is an option for you, but it is a thought.

Answer 7

Maybe it's time to remember that you have 9 months to get ready

- the baby won't be here tomorrow. Your very new born will be a year old by the time the new one comes.

- so much will change between now and then, I suggest being open to letting that time of change happen before deciding if your ready or not.

Answer 8

Don't do it, it is something that you will regret for the rest of your life. I have friends who accidentally got pregnant, had abortions and now find it very hard to cope, even years later. It's a very traumatic experience. If you weren't ready to get pregnant again you should have been more careful. Don't take it out on an innocent baby and kill it, it's NOT the baby's fault.

Answer 9

You should never have an abortion just to please someone else.

By the time your baby is one they will be walking, eating solid foods, they will have teeth, and (hopefully) they will be sleeping very well at night.

My son is one right now and he goes to bed each night at 8 and sleeps until 8 in the morning. He walks like a pro and he is able to entertain himself with his toys and books for quite some time. It wouldn't be IDEAL if I were to have a newborn right now, but it would be totally doable.

Get your baby on a good sleep routine. This will help you SO much down the road. This is ours as an example: dinner, bath, brush teeth, pajamas, read a story, sing a song, tuck him in, walk out. When we started this routine we woudl stay in our son's room and rub his back until he fell asleep. As he grew older, we started leaving his room while he was still awake. He would always cry. We would wait five minutes (feels like forever!) and then go back in and comfort him. We repeated this until he finally fell asleep. Today, we can walk out of the room while he is awake and he doesn't fuss at all. He just quietly goes to sleep. Establishing a routine like this will be very helpful to you when your new baby is born!!

Your fiancee is probably scared. Sit down and have a heart to heart about this. Maybe he feels like he is too young for this sort of responsibility, maybe he is worried about being able to support you all...give him time to adjust to the idea. He will come around.

Answer 10

My husband and I have two children that are 13 months apart. Yours would be close to that. Both pregnancies were surprises and yes we finally figured out what was causing the pregnancies! :-) We got pregnant only a month after we got engaged, so it was a very young engagement and the news was very shocking!

They are 5 & 6 years old now and we wouldn't have it any other way. They are so close and behave like twins. I think it has worked out wonderfully for them as well.

The only piece of advice I would give you is in the parenting arena. If you are going to have them so close in age, you are going to have to get their sleep patterns established and maintained as quickly as possible. This will save your sanity!

I say go for it! If your fiancee decides to leave, let him. There are many, many women who have raised children by themselves!

Good Luck!

Answer 11

You have to follow your heart, if you want to have the baby, nobody can force you to have an abortion.
Your children will be close in age, but they will grow up together and you get all the nappies and bottles over and done with in one hit!
And what you have to remember is that by time the new baby gets here, your first baby is going to be a year old, it is easy to imagine that the 3 month old is going to stay a 3 month old, but s/he will be more independant by time the new baby comes, it will be hard, but you can do it.
Talk to him, tell him how you feel, and don't let him make you do anything you don't want to do.
Good luck.