please help?

Question

My boyfriend has pulled away from me, he has become distant with me due to work stress and problems. He works full-time and during his free time during evenings, he looks for a new job. He has had few interviews, some near my city but he has not been accepted anywhere yet. He is still waiting for some answers. He is unhappy with his current job and hates it. He told me on Saturday he is not feeling well about it. I am worrying about this and I am sad worrying that he is loosing interest in our relationship as he has not been attentive and I don't hear from him much? I am happy as he texted me yesterday but today I asked him if we could meet up as we live an hour away from each other. He said that weekend he goes home to see his family. I asked him about the weekend and he replied with " I don't know, we will see". What can I do?

Answer 1

call him and tell him how you feel about this! tell him that you think that you dont spend enough time together...if he really cares about you more than his work he will try to make time! maybe you could help him out a little too! you could help him find a new job and that way, when he does have free time, you can spend more time with eachother!

good luck

Answer 2

You don't want to add to the stress he's under. You say he's unhappy at work and trying to get a new job, that's a lot to deal with. Let him know that you support him, maybe even look for jobs gong near you that you can tell him about, see how he likes the idea of moving closer to you. Tell him you don't want to add to the pressure he feels by making your relationship an issue but that you'd like to be there for him or if he'd rather you can take a break from each other if that would help. you will then know where you stand with him. Remember this: nothing is truely yours until you set it free, if it is yours it will come back to stay.

Answer 3

Be there for him... Do not beat yourself up and don't let your imagination run wild. He's unhappy with his job and he is having a hard time with it. Be his outlet, give him some space, but be supportive. Even if you think you have been supportive in the past, be more supportive!
You keep the relationship flame alive. Show him that you will be his gf through thick and thin. He sounds like he is not happy with himself; maybe he feels that his dreams are going down with him in that crumby job. Just build up his self esteem.
However, if he goes through this depression now, you have to ask yourself, "Is this what I want?" Do you want a long term relationship with someone like this? Every job is going be a pain at some time. A new boss, a promotion that went to someone else, a change in duties, etc is always a possibility. If he reacts the same way with every little bump in his career, do you want to be in that kind a relationship?
Finally, if he starts to take it out on you, yelling, being sarcastic, and/or nasty, dump him!

Good luck.

Answer 4

If you remain understanding and supportive, encouraging him and being positive around him, he will come back to you over and over. Men want a woman that will meet all their needs. My husband loves it if he can sound off about the things that have been stressful at work. If he is crabby dont allow your feelings and emotions to lie to you and tell you he is mad at you. You need to just be a darn good listener, not offering any advise. This is so important. Most people hate stressful jobs and just knowing there is someone kind, loveing and understanding,providing good meals is what is desired. GIve him a good back rub, give him a foot treatment if he is on his feet all day. Just be your good old loving self. If you do these things you will definitely not loose him. Be respectful and always do that even when you are married to him one day. One thing a lot of people do is stop doing the good things once they are married. Accountability to one another goes right out of the door and love and respect disappear, because of selfishness. My advise to you is to always deem others as more important than self, not to the degree of being a doormat, but to the degree of being loving and kind and good and fun and joyful and holding no score of records, forgiving and enduring, perservering etc. Thats how its meant to be. If you really love him consider this! Choose to override your feelings and emotions and respond with confidence and positive thoughts. People like being around confident and positive people. Remember that!

Good luck and may you have a wonderful relationship toogether.

Answer 5

Believe it or not the exact same thing happened 2 a friend of mine and the advice i gave her worked,so il give it 2u.
Dont ring or text him,he feels like hes a failiure cause he cant get that job so man is he stressed,but the less you have to do with him the more he will contact u.
My friend text her husband one last time saying i understand how down u must be feeling, i just want u to know i will always be there 4u if u need me anytime,but i will give you some space now. take care.
I think he will come round,and miss u like mad,let him make all the contact. He will and when he does let us know on here, but be patient!!! Good luck!

Answer 6

His situation sounds stressful. If he is still initiating contact - if he calls you, instead of just you calling him all the time - then I would say he's still interested, and you should be patient and supportive till things pan out for him. And in the meantime, take this extra time as an opportunity to do things with your own friends or for yourself - take a class, see some movies. Do things that make you feel good about yourself.

But if you're the only one initiating contact, then I would ask to take a break and maybe find someone who can give you the attention you deserve.

Answer 7

Okay, I have two thoughts:

First, it sounds as though he's under a lot of stress, so you may have to give him some room.

The other thought, not so good ... I think he's cheating on you and this may be a smoke screen. However, if I'm wrong about this one, and it's the first scenario, then the last thing he needs is you thinking and asking if he's cheating.

How can you tell the difference? Yeah, I don't know that one. I was cheated on for four years. I suck at that game!! However, usually a cheater slips up and tells on themselves. Listen closely to what he says. If he's cheating it'll come out.

So, my advice, be patient with him, give him some time. However, if you learn he's been lying to you - scape him, liars are bad news. You don't want to marry that problem (if he's deceiving you and cheating).

Addendum: The thing that just makes me suspicious is not being available at all on the weekend. No one sees anybody on Sundays (for interviews)!!

Answer 8

Hello, Sounds like he is so focused on his problems that he can't see that your love & caring for him could be a blessing...He can't be sensitive to your needs right now because he is reacting to stress in an unhealthy way. Don't be too pushy about him taking care of your needs right now..he might push you away even more..just let him know that you will be there for him if he needs you.Every relationship will be tested...sounds like he's failing the test...but just know that you're a good & lovable person no matter what...ok? bye bye

Answer 9

try and help him look for work if he has the same job as you then you could put in a word for him at your place for now just so that he has a job up your end but looking for work can be very stressful especially if nothing is coming up just help him all you can

Answer 10

well this is a little tough.How long have u guys been together? I think u might need to give him a little space, talk to him let him know how u are feeling. it could be that he might want to focus on his job and see how that works out for him. I know it hurts right now cuz u r wondering what u might have done wrong. Just sit down and talk to him. let him know that u are very supportive of his goals and u want to try to try and work out your relationship too.