i have a friend that is consistently making the Worst decisions for herself... someone once advised her that she was sabatoging herself, or purposely trying to fail, which at the time i didn't understand, but as time went on i can see why he said that.
one of her problems is that she is stuck on an Off and On again boyfriend who has pretty much ruined her life and changed her into a weak, unconfident, unhappy, dependent person. she continues to go back to him even though in the heat of the moment she always breaks up with him. i know it's Her life and i can't really do anything to help her, but i've been trying to convince her to make better decisions.. so i told her if she gets back w/ him again, she HAS to let him meet me and another friend so we can 'grill' him (she never wanted him to meet any family or friends befre).
is that a bad idea? or even if it is or not, what would u suggest we talk about/ask him/act around him?
2007-03-22 09:39:46 · 5 answers · asked by tarmee2006 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I really wouldn't want to get involved in something like this. If your friend is making destructive decisions, she is CHOOSING to do so with knowing the consequences. A better way of assuring your friendship with her is to let her know that you are always going to be here for her to talk, to listen, to help her. But getting in the middle of her and her boyfriend is just a set up for disaster. Try not to get too involved with your friend's personal life...you'll probably end up in the middle - stressed and wishing you had never done so in the first place.
2007-03-22 09:45:11 · answer #1 · answered by i love love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally i wouldnt grill him as you put it... you should go and meet him with a completely open mind, avoiding thinking of stuff that you have heard.
It really may not be his fault.
My advice is meet him and discuss general stuff be civil to him, not saying anything too sensitive, then go away think and talk about your opinions, then perhaps grill him!
You never know what u might discover, he may be a great ally in your mission to help your friend!
2007-03-22 16:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, you don't have to 'grill' this guy, he isn't worth the time, obviously.
Secondly, hold a mirror in front of your friend's face and ask her what she sees? ask her how this guy has changed her and made out a wreck of her. Why is she letting him do all that to her, and is still with him?
Talk some sense into her, even if you had to shout (I would've done it myself, believe me) in order to prove your point and make her understand what you say.
Keep her away of that guy, and make sure he stays away of her too.
2007-03-22 16:47:29 · answer #3 · answered by peachy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
raise your friend's self eteem, show her that a guy who doent respect her is no good at all. she will thank you later. and give her confidence to speak with the guy herself, she needs to tell him to show respect.
2007-03-22 16:45:41 · answer #4 · answered by Liz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should
ithink that you should put hidden camras in her house and se why she keeps braking up whith him
2007-03-22 16:45:47 · answer #5 · answered by jjhjarodholley2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋