My husband is a wonderful, giving person (married 3 yrs). However, he has zero interest in sex. He has seen doctors and everything is fine - it's psychological. He’s not gay, not cheating. He has Erectile Dysfunction (pills haven’t helped). We had some sex early in the marriage but it was infrequent. Now it's about ONCE PER YEAR and only if I initiate. I am not even sure I was "in love" with him when we married. I was VERY overweight at the time and felt that was the best I could do. I've since had gastric bypass and look and feel good. I'm 37 years old. If I want to have children time is running out. I fear that if I end this marriage I will take a serious risk at not being able to have children. I feel guilty about potentially leaving him because he's such a good, kind person...but on the other hand this isn't a "normal" marriage. He says he wants to fix this and sees the therapist, but nothing changes. I worry that I won’t be able to find someone else that is as wonderful as him.
2007-03-22 09:17:28 · 16 answers · asked by Suzanne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's quite a dilemma. Ask yourself:
-do I want this lifestyle for the rest of my life?
-do I want him to be the father of my children?
-does *he* even want to be a dad?
If you married a man with "normal" sexual function who then got in an accident and could no longer perform, would you leave him or stay with him?
Only you can decide on the relative importance of sex in your life. Personally, I think that the other stuff - the day-to-day stuff - is more important as long as he's still affectionate (hugs, kisses, touches). But that's something only you can decide. If he's a wonderful, giving person like you say, he's probably going to be a great dad. Passion is important, but the friendship and intimacy (not necessarily sex!!) are more important (to me, at least).
If you are very unhappy with your marriage, then you really need to re-think the relationship. But if he is that wonderful, then stay. I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry about the biological clock. Adoption is a great option - no matter what decision you make about your husband. I hope you find a solution that you feel good about.
2007-03-22 09:45:06 · answer #1 · answered by yreviewer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why would a person be in a sexless marriage to start with? Was there sex in the opening? How lengthy into the wedding did the intercourse lifestyles stop? I would advise marriage counseling and if that does not aid(make certain it's now not bodily with the aid of travelling a doctor) then it will be up to the man or woman that isn't having thewir wants met to make a decision to depart or stay. I personally would not stay in a sexless marriage more than half of a second.
2016-08-10 21:29:51 · answer #2 · answered by domina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why might someone be in a sexless marriage first of all? became there intercourse interior the commencing up? How long into the marriage did the intercourse existence end? i might recommend marriage counseling and if that would not help(make beneficial it is not actual by ability of traveling a physician) then it incredibly is going to be as much as the guy that's no longer having thewir desires met to be certain to leave or stay. i certainly does no longer stay in a sexless marriage better than 0.5 a 2d.
2016-10-01 08:20:41 · answer #3 · answered by clawson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do realize you will find it difficult to have children in a "sexless marriage" right?
Does your husband want children? If so, he'll have to make a go of it. If not, you will need to look elsewhere.
2007-03-22 09:25:11 · answer #4 · answered by Vegan 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey if you love him and he's a good man , why would you want to leave him . sex aint everything sex and the way people look is so so overated . can you addopt ? don't shoot him down over the sex thing . honey it would destroy him . it will make him fell worthless . sounds to me like you have a very good man . honey i'm saying all of this from experence . believe me it will desroy him . good luck
2007-03-26 06:52:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go to counseling. Your surgery and your transformation has brought up some very common but complicated issues that will be hard for you to figure out on you own. Sometimes counseling helps things to become very very clear.
2007-03-22 09:22:37 · answer #6 · answered by Rairia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about maybe getting a sperm donator??? Alot of husbands that have problems want babies to but just can't..Or maybe they can get some sperm from him with out having sex.you guys should go see a doctor together.
2007-03-22 09:29:05 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you are in a no win situation. If you stay, you will not have children and if you go you will lose a wonderful man.
2007-03-22 09:58:17 · answer #8 · answered by Cherri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So did it indicate anywhere in your marriage vows..."sex on a continual basis"? Is your marriage based solely upon sex?
2007-03-22 11:13:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, not because you want a child only, but because you made a commitment and you love him.
If he were in a horrific accident and couldn't be sexual, would you leave him? I bet he wouldn't leave you if something happened to you....
2007-03-22 09:57:03 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋