Married 17 years, two kids, been thru the therapy, the ups and downs, i'm emotionally exhausted from it, depressed, feel no solution right now. I am thinking about cheating on my husband, no strings attached. Now before you all judge me and play holier than thou I ask responses be kept to those women who have similar feelings, doubts, experiences....
The answers that I'm selfish, a bad mother and wife, commandment crusher, get a divorce.....please, I'm looking for experiences, not green lights to go ahead, just experiences, good and bad.......
Thanks in advance.
2007-03-22 08:56:22 · 19 answers · asked by flipit 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont feel bad...contrary to popular belief all married women cheat. i know I sound chauvanist,but I bet you are around forty. You raised your family now it is time to reap the benefits. If you can look yourself in the mirror everyday...then go for it. MOST MARRIED MEN HAVE CHEATED TOO.
2007-03-22 09:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by BEACHRESCUE 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, I won't tell you any of those things. I am a 27 year old man who has been married for 8 years, and still love my wife dearly. And her too. Don't do what you're planning to do, and I will tell you why.
All I can say is think about the times when things were working in your relationship, and consider if you would have cheated then. If the answer is yes, then a talk is long overdue and necessary if you even respect your man.
To this day I consider the whole concept of marriage something truly unique. Hey, I'll never be alone. Someone is always there, and that means more to me than a random fling.
2007-03-22 16:06:00 · answer #2 · answered by Joey G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was unhappy we were fighting all the time, also was in the process of moving, I gave him the get out of jail free card. Told him to leave and would never hold anything against him. He said no he loved me, i on the other hand wasn't so sure. I had met a really great guy, or so I thought, It wasn't a sexual affair, only emotional, tons of phone calls & texts, But when it hit a rocky patch I quit, didnt need another reason to be unhappy. Husband knew, but he thought it was about S#x, now we arent fighting at all. He still says he loves me, but some days I wonder how. I was wrong in what I did, It hurt him, me and the third party. It felt good in the beginning, but ended in heart ache. The grass isnt always greener.
Best of Luck to you, sometimes its not about the s$% its about having some one hear you.
2007-03-22 16:13:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? I say go for it...to hell w/ the people that want to judge. If there are truly no strings attached, and you're safe about it, and you're confident your husband won't find out, then do it. Another option...have you ever thought about "swinging" w/ your husband and other couples? This might add the excitement that you're craving. And who knows, maybe it'll give you that spark for your husband that's gone out. Good luck, and just be safe! I was in a similar rut, and I had a fling just a few months ago. It made me feel sexy and desirable, and actually made me look at my guy in a whole new light. It was GREAT for my sex life! It gave me the boost I was in such need of.
2007-03-22 16:20:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok. I haven't been married as long as you have, but I have had those feelings and I have tried everything my husband would agree to to work things out. So, I wasn't looking for an affair, but had one, it just lasted a few months, but I have to tell you - it is impossible to keep feelings out of it. It can't be no strings attached, I learned that the hard way. And, while I'm still married to my husband and things have started to improve with us, it will make you look at your whole family differently.
Yes, it feels great for someone to find you attractive again, to show sincere interest in you, to have that rush of feelings, the sex is amazing, but in the end, you just end up hurt. I won't say don't do it, I wouldn't change what happened because it has helped put my marriage back together, but please think of the consequences to yourself and your family. I am still in constant contact with my ex-lover, but we're both married and we talk about our spouses and kids, not about being together. So, yes, I gained a friend, but it would've been much easier on my ego and self esteem if I'd just left it as friends and not allowed it to become more.
Hope that helps
2007-03-22 16:09:14 · answer #5 · answered by 1978girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Response from a man! I think that it may be time to check out another person. It sounds like your marriage is mostly over. You may find that the person will appreciate you for you, something you have been denied by your partner. If this is the case, then you may stay in your marriage and still get some love. Also you may find out that there are people worse than your husband out there and you may never want to cheat on him again. DO NOT TELL HIM. EVER!!!
2007-03-22 16:17:07 · answer #6 · answered by Clay R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should cheat on your husband. You would most likely feel terribly guilty and be trading one set of bad circumstances for another. Plus, your two children would loose all respect for you and probably resent you for the rest of their lives for betraying their father.
If I were you, I start to focus on everything you admire and love about your husband and your life together. When you focus on good, you get more good.
Also, be sure to take time for yourself. I watched the movie "The Secret" and I have been feeling better than I have in years and have seen several positive changes in my life over the last month.
2007-03-22 16:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by MT Hammer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, honestly - when I started having those feelings is when I decided it was time to talk about getting a divorce. I didn't want to be stuck any longer in a loveless marriage that was draining me of everything I had.
I suggest to you that you just think of the option. I'm not telling you to do it or not - that is your decision to make. If there are reasons that are keeping you tied to marriage, think of ways you can get out. Sparing the feelings of your husband and getting a divorce would be the nice thing to do - but it's your decision.
2007-03-22 16:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hiya chick, I've been with my husband since we were 15. I'm now 26 and have been married 8 years and have a 4 year old son. He's the only man iv been with, sometimes i get the same feelings, then always think 'what if he finds out?'. Its not worth the risk. Well, that's my opinion. Is it worth risking your marriage? Think about it hun. Good luck x
2007-03-22 16:05:38 · answer #9 · answered by creamball 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Should you want to, you need to determine exactly what you are looking for. If you are looking for love, you have a loaded gun in your hand and do not know where it is pointed. If you are looking for an outlet, personally, go for it. But play it smart. Get hold of your local swingers club. One that has an orientation session. If it doesn't, move on. Go and ask a lot of questions to ease your mind. Then have a blast. You will be safe, and you will not have to worry about anyone saying anyting. You will never have to worry about rumors of who is doing whom. The first time it is spooky, but the biggest surprize you will have is your own lack of reaction. You think you will be freaked, but you won't.
2007-03-22 16:27:50 · answer #10 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋