I am a stay at home mom of our two young kids, (3 and 4) and I have been ever since the first one was born. We are a very young family as we got started right out of high school. Being a stay at home mom is not an easy job as most of you know. And my husband is great about showing his appreciation but sometimes he just doesn't get it. Staying at home everyday has become very boring now that my older one is in pre school and its just me and the younger one. (yes, I'm trying to get a job, but those don't come easy around here) Also a well known fact is that this is a 24/7 job with no time off. I'm going stir crazy. Its like being at any job all day every day. He gets his time off and he uses it to do his hobbies. I'm not saying he doesn't spend time with us, he does. I need some time too. And yes I've talked to him about it, but its like it goes in one ear and out the other. I love him, he loves me and the family so what do we need to do to make this work?
2007-03-22 08:44:23 · 8 answers · asked by Wanda 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was a SAHM of 4........he left me about a year ago. Talk about a nightmare! I rarely got time to myself and when I did, it was always 'When are you going to be back'? Meanwhile, when he was doing his own thing, I never questioned him. Drove me up the bloody wall.
If you have tried talking to him and he doesn't get it, I advise you to make plans on a night that you know he will be home to watch his kids. Then tell him "I'm going out with so and so for a couple hours on Thursday night, etc". If this is a new thing, make dinner in the afternoon so he can re-heat it. Once you have him a bit more trained, you can go out and he will be able to take care of everything for the night.
Some guys think that they work and that means we have to do EVERYTHING else...cook, clean, laundry, dishes, baths for kids, homework...it is a 24/7 job that never ends. If you don't take your time now, you will end up divorced later. Because you will have so much built up resentment that you will grow to hate him. good luck :-) email me if you ever want to talk - I've been there.
2007-03-22 08:51:52 · answer #1 · answered by Clarissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sounding really resentful, and that is a gnawing problem inside you. You are now a wife and mom with big responsibilities, and that means a LOT of sacrifice. You need to understand he is working hard for your family and needs his time. He's a dude! Haven't you noticed their different needs? That's part of you being mature, and YOU understanding.
All that needs changing here is an attitude, and yours is not positive. You need to change that, and bring positiveness and happiness to your children and your husband. Work on it, it will come....
2007-03-22 17:09:17 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look in your area for "mothers day out" outings. this gives moms some time away from the kids. also, you can tell your husband that you are going to dinner & a movie 1 evening by yourself or with a girlfriend. Go & enjoy yourself.
2007-03-22 16:06:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you expect of him and he probably is not either. You tell him you want some time to yourself, what is supposed to do with that? Plan something specific, eg going to a movie with a friend and ask him what Saturday he is available to babysit the kids so you can go.
2007-03-22 16:06:54 · answer #4 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he should take the kids on a day off and leave you to go do whatever you want todo at least once a week or even more if he has the time.. work out a schedule that both can deal with
2007-03-22 15:50:17 · answer #5 · answered by road runner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a babysitter, excersise, get out of the house!
Socialize with other women with kids women and exchange babysitting favors.
Also, announce to yoru spouse that yu are having a girls day out to the mall and that he is in change of the kids.
Good luck
2007-03-22 15:53:37 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him that this Saturday he will have the kids while you go to the mall by yourself. He will make the time and you will be happier for it. Make this a habit. Problem solved! See how easy that was?
2007-03-22 15:49:00 · answer #7 · answered by Devdude 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the easiest way to earn your husbands heart and feelings is to consider him as your third child , give him more care , try to be very near to him let him feel that you him putting in your heart , be beside him whenever he wants you , and you will be a very happy family .
2007-03-22 15:59:16 · answer #8 · answered by m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋