2007-03-22 08:38:24 · 11 answers · asked by norma H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
HI NORMA, When you first started dating that was the first thing you should have recognized from the getgo. How this man is going to treat my son. I have been married 3 times I have 3 children from 3 different relationships. My first wife when we were seperated started seeing this guy who was a contractor he had bank and a big house. She said he loved my son and so forth. I gave her my blessings and said to take care of my boy. It turned out the guy was an a--hole and treated my son like crap. I wanted so bad to kick his a--. But his mom said not to. My second wife had two kids from two different guys. She was living off their child supports and would not let her daughter see her father. I treated those kids as if they were my own. I made her let her daughter see her dad. He thanks me to this day and both her kids still call me dad. My third wives daughter hated my guts she wouldnt let me even hold my grandson whom I raised from a baby. Until the day she was going to lose her apartment I gave her and my grandson who was just a baby some money so they wouldnt have to be out on the streets. You cant make someone love your child they have to do it on there own they are only required to provide a roof over your head and food on your table. If you couldn't see him interacting with your son from the beginning you should have anticipated him being this way at this time. Do you have any children from him? If so this may bond the entire relationship. My son from my first marriage raised all three of his brothers and sisters. They love each other the ex still resents me but its all good. I dont care how he feels I only care about the health and welfare of my immediate family who aren't even my blood. ITS ALL ABOUT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...GIVE HIM TIME MAYBE YOUR SON AND HIM CAN GO TO A BASEBALL GAME OR GO FISHING WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND LET THEM BOND ON THEIR OWN. MAYBE ITS YOUR SON THAT IS GIVING HIM AN ATTITUDE AND A BAD VIBE? SOMEONE SOONER OR LATER IS GONNA NEED SOMEONES HELP. THAT WILL BE THE TRUE TEST. GIVE IT TIME AND LET IT WORK ITSELF OUT. PEACE AND LOVE TO YOU ALL PAPA HANK
2007-03-22 08:59:04 · answer #1 · answered by papa_hanko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to form a bond and that doesn't happen without work. What's your husband or son interested in - cars, shooting pool, hunting/fishing? Make arrangements for them to do some things together. Or on Saturday, send them out for burgers and a "guts and gore" movie (if that's appropriate for your son - you don't say how old) or a "guy flick". Have them go to a ball game together (and this gives you some much needed "ME" time). And make sure to do lots of "family" stuff. Rent a movie on Friday nights, call out for pizza, make popcorn and have a fun night. Or make Saturday board game night. You get the picture now, right? Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-22 15:43:44 · answer #2 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't , that is a relationship they have to develop. This may sound silly , but I had difficulty at first forming a close bond with my step son, because I felt guilty because of the part of the relationship I had lost with my sons when I got divorced. I was a little afraid of the mix. Things are wonderful , but it did take some time.
2007-03-22 15:48:18 · answer #3 · answered by EGOman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately that is something that has to happen between the two of them when the time comes. I know you want to jump right in and make it perfect but you're gonna have to let patience and God do the work. Good luck to ya!
2007-03-22 16:05:58 · answer #4 · answered by WOW U all make me feel normal! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them spend as much time alone as possible. I stay clear of my son's relationship with Tom. It helps them to bond! Believe me I never thought I would see that happen!
2007-03-22 15:43:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband? I think this is something you had to handle before you got married, is not something you should be trying to do now that you are married.... find out what they like and they like sports buy tickets for that game have them go together, go to the movies together etc...
2007-03-22 15:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to let them do things together...play ball, or watch tv...start with little things then maybe they will go out for camping trips and stuff like that.
2007-03-22 15:41:36 · answer #7 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to arrange for them to do things together that they both enjoy; sometimes with you and sometimes without. If it is going to happen it will happen over time. Be patient.
2007-03-22 15:41:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just try to schedual outings were they can bond with the summer comming up mabe you all should go camping but dont try to force it let it come naturaqlly
2007-03-22 15:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by jamie b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant force a relationship on either one of them.
2007-03-22 16:07:47 · answer #10 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋