Am I being unreasonable?

Question

I am going away to Spain with 6 friends in the summer, and we've booked a villa to stay in for the 3 weeks we are there.

We are all paying an equal amount to rent the house. Inevitably, some of the rooms are big, and others pretty small. One of the group has decided that because she has a small room in the house we live in together here at home, she should get the biggest room on holiday.

We told her that we think it's a lot fairer for us to decide who gets what room on an equal basis - drawing straws perhaps. We're all paying the same amount and are all in the same boat, so no one is deserving of a bigger room, regardless of their room at home.

The girl has been in a huge sulk ever since we told her we want to distribute the room fairly, and is hardly talking to anyone. We've tried talking to her and explaining our reasons in a calm and rational way. We don't want to lose her friendship.

However, she just refuses to acknowledge us. What should we do? Are we being unfair?

I just wanted to add, the girl who is having this strop has a considerably bigger room than one of the other girls, who has not made a fuss at all! So the sulker is acting as though she is really hard done by when she's not. People with bigger rooms in our house pay extra rent too, so it's all fair.

Thanks for the replies, keep them coming!

Answer 1

I would just suck it up and give her the room. You don't want her to be like this on the trip and ruin it for everyone else. If she was promised the room in the beginning, she should have it.

Answer 2

First thought is that drawing straws good idea. However you say she has the smallest room in the house you live...........Does she pay the same amount as the rest of you? If she does then it would be a nice gesture to give her the big room and really would have been better if you and her friends had thought of that first. If she pays less owing to her room size then she shouldn't be grumbling and just taking the room allocated by the fairest manner. Also I have had a place in Spain for 27yrs and being familiar with the design of a lot of villas etc the biggest room isn't always the best. Sometimes views, sun etc have to be taken in to account.......just thought I would add that.

Answer 3

Maybe if her room is stupidly small here then that should be taken into consideration. You could give her a room of her choice in Spain, if this really annoys you all then go for the straw idea. I think you all sound pretty fair and she's being slightly childish. If this is such a huge issue for her then maybe let her have her way, but if its going to irk you guys so much then just stick with the straw thing!

Answer 4

There may be going on more with her than just the room situation and she's just not letting on to it. I think your decision to pick straws was very fair. Just leave your friend alone for a few days and she'll most likely come around. She probably realizes she was wrong but is too ashamed to admit it. She could also think she has it the worst at home out of all of you and strongly believes she deserves the bigger room... perhaps she paid a little more for something on the trip than the rest of the group?? This would make most people think they are more deserving and it should just be understood by everyone in the group. Either way the straw idea was fair for everyone and a very good idea. Good luck!

Answer 5

You're not being unfair, but it'd be kind to let her have the bigger room after all. I mean, if you think about it, wouldn't you like it if your friends allowed you to treat yourself to the bigger room for a few weeks? I think that would be the best way to solve the problem. But trust me, drawing straws is fair too. It's mainly a matter of everyone else deciding if they want to do something kind for her. If she deserves the kindness or not, I don't know. If you feel she does, maybe you can consider asking everyone else to go along with allowing her to be treated to the bigger room. Have a fun trip either way!

Answer 6

if she's gonna be a sulk now, imagine what she'll be like on the holiday....i would re consider her joining you if she's like that now...don't let her spoil your break coz she cant have her own way....take someone else instead and give her the money back she's paid...i think that if there are bigger rooms than others, then have 3 of you share the bigger rooms and have the smaller rooms for two people...if she is still in a sulk about it, then don't allow her to go on this holiday with you...she's acting like a spoilt brat, she'll just spoil it for everyone else if this is not sorted

Answer 7

I know she's your friend but it sounds like she's just bringing down what's suppose to be a fun trip. Tell her that your going to have fun it doesn't matter about how big a room you get. I went on a trip last year and had the same problem so I volunteered to take the small room. It settled a lot of arguing and it could of been worse, I could have slept outside in a tent.

Answer 8

It's your friend who's acting like a spoilt brat that's the problem here, not you. Have a house meeting, and draw straws for the rooms. If she's the only one out of 6 who can't agree to the group decision, I think you all ought to think seriously whether you want her disruptive influence on holiday.

Answer 9

Drawing straws for the biggest room sounds fair to me though if you can't come to a mutual agreement then I guess she is really annoyed that she has the smaller room where you are now.
You might be better to let her have the room because I would hate to go overseas and have one person ruin the holiday.

Answer 10

I think you are being very reasonable and fair. To tell you the truth, I wouldn't worry about her. If she is a true friend with you guys then she will come through and forget about who gets the larger room, whether they have a small one at home or not. But if she doesn't come through then don't worry. It's her loss and it won't be your guys fault. It will be hers for not acting fairly toward you. Because you tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen. So just forget about it and let her go until she comes through. : )

Answer 11

I do not think you are being unfair, however, does it matter to you and the other friends that much who will get that room? Just give it to the friend so that she isn't sour the whole trip. But I would let her know that your better than that to fight over a room that isnt permanent and the answerer above is right...your'e going to SPAIN! Have a blast!