Here's the thing. throughout high school, my friend has always been the "nerdy" type (and shall I say the shy type). Junior year, he decided to change his style. But that same year, one of our friends (the girl he has a crush on) left school together with one of our other friends and my best friend to study abroad somewhere. As it turns out (or so my best friend tells me), our friend A (the girl) also has a crush on our friend B (the once-nerdy guy). When my best friend and our friend A returned here, friend B lost no time in telling her how he really felt about her. Friend A responds by reciprocating his love and saying she's "been waiting for that moment." And so begins the affair. But since friend A is Chinese, her family is the traditional type, and she's been betrothed to Chinese guy since age 4! What should they do? My friend 9friend B) is so hurt by the announcement of the engagement! What do I tell him?! "Drop it"? I can't say that, can I? Or "Damn, bro! That sucks."
2007-03-22 08:07:05 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Help, please... I need more words of advice before I can give him some. I noticed some vials of some sort in his appartment. I know he's an intern as a chemist, but when I asked him, he said it was "for something else." I've got a bad feeling about this.
2007-03-22 12:09:04 · update #1
As I see it, you have two options here. If your friend has already accepted the fact that he can't have her; leave it be. But help him to get over the hurdle by getting him out so he's not feeling alone and so depressed.
Option two.. (and you have to decide if this is even an option.) Tell him to go to the girl and tell her straight up that he's not giving up on her. (Love conquers all!)
It was only a couple of generations ago in this country , and still holds true today, that many nationalities were expected to marry in their own nationality. I know, because both my husband and I were the first to break with tradition when we married. The girl may be willing to do the same if she knew his feelings were so strong. If the girl is also a friend of yours, maybe you could play Cupid.
P.S. You're getting a star for caring.
2007-03-29 19:15:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it depends on how much the girl is going to honor her family and traditions.
If shes going along with the engagement because she loves her family and wants them in her life then your friend will just have to get over it.
Just sit him down and say listen I'm sorry I wish things were different for you but shes not going to change her mind because she has too much to lose in this situation.
Just say everything happens for a reason and explain how he used to be shy and now he is outgoing and what did he do when he became outgoing told her right away how he felt...that will give him the confidence now when he meets someone new.
2007-03-22 08:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by colie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on what Friend A says. Is she going to abide by her parents - and if so, why? That is an ancient tradition and not based on love at all. Can Friend A have a talk with her parents about the situation and explain that she's fallen in love with someone who loves her back?
If Friend A won't do anything but abide by her parents than your Friend B will have to try to accept this and move on with his life, as difficult as it will be at first. Try to keep him involved with things, going to the mall, the library, the movies, anything to get him out and involved with life. Eventually he will think of her less often and begin to heal. Good luck to you both and God Bless. It's nice that he has a friend who cares so much about him.
2007-03-22 08:17:41 · answer #3 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So she's Chinese? Well, I understand the traditions, since my mother is half-Chinese. (And since my mom has Chinese blood, that makes me Chinese too.) But I'm on the side of true love, though. Tell them to lie about it. They can be like a modern day Romeo & Juliet or something. Elope! That's the best thing to do.
2007-03-22 08:28:23 · answer #4 · answered by Chichiri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him more options than giving up and saying: Damn,bro! That sucks. Because if you say that he'll feel as if they is nothing else left but to let the girl of his dreams to go away. Her parents can't run her life. The marriage won't mean anything if she doesn't love the man.
2007-03-28 04:49:39 · answer #5 · answered by Aila126 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I thought things like that only happened in movies. But what your guy friend can do is get together with his girl and go tell her parents what has happened and that the love each other. Her fiance deal he may feel the same about someone else...So tell them to give it a shot. if its met to be it will.
2007-03-22 08:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by jessica c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can really say in a situation like that. Just be there to support him. Be a friend.
2007-03-22 08:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by Ruth K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋