First of all, I have this friend from Uni, who I've known since day one... and we've grown to have this connection... at least I'm pretty sure it's that type of connection. I think she's either lesbian or bisexual at least. She's not homophobic or anything (we've talked thoroughly about this)
But... I don't know what I should do about it... Should I mention I'm bisexual/Bicurious or ask if she's ever been attracted to other girls or straight up mention I like her?
I want to do it in a way that won't sabotage the friendship if she doesn't feel the same way because I care for her a lot.
(Someone suggested that I drink a lot after seeing her drink a lot and talk to her about it, since we both generally forget after drinking...)
2007-03-22 07:32:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Sure, ask her. But do know that this may--maybe not, though-- jeopardize your friendship if she isn't. Weigh what is more important to you. And don't do it drunk, that will just lead to lot's of confusion--and, no dear, neither of you will "forget" something like this do to lots of booze.
2007-03-22 07:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by angrysandwichguy_2007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself am a staunch advocate of liquid courage. (Drinking to get the resolve to speak or act on something) I'm usually just afraid of the answer, but after a few drinks, I can just put it out there and not be so worried. Don't get plastered, cuz then you'll just make a fool of yourself. But, while at a party or hanging out, have a couple drinks, then bring it up casually, she'll let you know whether or not she's interested. If not, it can be blown off later. That's just my advice. While I'm sure it's not the healthiest way to go about things, it works for me.
2007-03-22 07:38:59 · answer #2 · answered by jjspike 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Please do not approach this subject while high from alcohol...very bad idea. IF you have reason to believe your friend is attracted to you, then put it on the table. IF expressing love to another turns them off, you do not need them in your life, period. She may not be interested, but if she is a friend..a real friend, nothing will change except you will have to turn the intimate feelings off, and you can certainly do that. IF your friendship from your side is based on this attraction, you are the one who needs fixing if she is not interested...make sure you do the fixing, or it will be you who will avoid her. I wish you the best of luck, but over all, this is a small problem that needn't be a problem. Those friends who have expressed interest in me have flattered me greatly, whether or not I was interested in return. I never changed in my actions towards them because they were attracted to me...hell, I already knew that. Good luck
2007-03-22 07:47:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to a nice gay bar have a couple drinks have nice general conversation the setting might be self explanatory, Just remember everything changes when feelings are entered into the mix.
2007-03-22 07:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to her...sober..lol, and just ask her if she has ever been attracted to other girls. Or, maybe just mention an actress in a movie that you "just saw" that you find attractive. See how she reacts to that. If she reacts okay and you are feeling brave, mention that her and the actress resemble each other. Go from there! If she reacts badly to that, then you know to back off and not persue the topic anymore. Good luck!
2007-03-22 07:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by U2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree... getting drunk will make it a little easier to ask... I would just casually mention that you are curious and ask her if she has ever been with or thought about being with another woman. If the friendship is meant to be and is strong then it could survive a "communication" if she is not into it!!!
2007-03-22 07:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by ItalianPrincess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys need an added push, however, if a guy really wants a girl, it shouldn't take little initiative from the girl to get the action going. But if he is the type that needs the added push, then just kiss the dude, if he rejects you after, oh well, you were wrong and life goes on; also he may just take it as a shock, but if he truly likes you, he will just go along with it. If you feel pretty sure he does like you, go for it!
2007-03-22 07:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by E! 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Come out with it. When I was in the service one of my closest friends for years and I were getting ready to go out play pool & check out town, He was waiting for me to get dressed and informed me that he had wanted to be more than friends for a while - We remained friends till parted ways and though we didn't go any farther - It didn't effect our friendship. Good Luck
2007-03-22 07:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by S.O.S. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just have a drink together and start to get close to her, if she welcomes your touches, feel the mood don't think. You two sound made for each other. Enjoy, it's great to make love.
2007-03-22 07:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her straight out. She is a friend, but let her know that you like her.
Just FYI and warning. Once you love and you lose, you never get your friendship back.
2007-03-22 08:04:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋