have been with my bf for 2.5months(i am21,hes24)I am his first GF in 2YRS.I could tell he REALLY liked me in the beginning.he took me to meet his parents and friends and invited me EVERWHERE.About a month ago,he started acting really distant and i started to not see him as much(like 1 time a week).Last weekend,he really opened up to me and told me how his ex cheated on him and how he wants to get his life together,then he goes out drinking all the time.I had a talk withhim on Monday about how I feel like he doesnt care about me now,and how i would like to see him more.he was understanding at first,but then said he wanted space,that hes scared and thinks we are moving too fast!also said that he does really care about me and he isnt going anywhere.He told me he would think about this and call me back.i havent talked to him since,and havent tried calling.I want to give him time to think about this,BUT how much more time should I give him?and why is he acting like this?
2007-03-22 07:18:35 · 12 answers · asked by sallyh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should try calling him again. If nothing happens in a few weeks then move on.
2007-03-22 07:29:57 · answer #1 · answered by Icebox -0: Never Again 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate saying this, but it is a strong possibility he brought you out everywhere to get back at his ex. You have to remember about your own feelings too in this situation. Why I am assuming that he still has feelings for his ex:
1. He's not seeing you as often now.
2. He was showing you off everywhere.
3. He's drinking all of the time.
4. He doesn't want to "move too fast"
The other thing I would question is why is he drinking all of the time, if this wasn't something he did in the beginning. Also, why isn't he going out with you? This sounds like a very suspicious situation. You really need to talk to him again and sort everything out. If he still has feelings for his ex, then it might be best to move on.
2007-03-22 14:27:30 · answer #2 · answered by love 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry this happened to you and I know this is tough, but I think it's best if you just cut your losses here. Give him his space. If he gets over his issues then he'll come back, but in the meantime don't sacrifice your own good time waiting around for something that might not happen.
He's either acting like this because he actually DOES have trust/commitment issues, but some of what he said sounds like excuses to me.
I know you probably keep thinking about the times that you had with him that were good and it hurts that he became all distant, but think of it this way...half of the time you spent with him has been more difficult/weird. I say just try to move on from this. I know it's easier said than done, but it sounds to me like you can do a lot better.
2007-03-22 14:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by Salt 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because he is a man and they love to mess with you and break your heart. lol
Move on, sounds like you are really nice and he is a jerk... He's got some major problems with relationships, but at least he was honest and told you his feelings. Sounds like he gave you the answer, it's hard to accept rejection, but consider yourself lucky it happened before you were more attached. If you want to call him and see if it's a break where you see other people, I would call him and ask him that. Tell him you were trying to be respectful. You are too young, get out there and HAVE FUN! Your life will get serious all too soon and it just doesn't sound like this is the one.
2007-03-22 14:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by Ginger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe he is not completely over his ex to me. He obviously still has a lot of issues with the previous realtionship. Just tell him that he is pushing u away and that u would like to help him but u don't know how. He isn't being very fair to u. If he continues this behavior, I would say to break up with him because it doesn't seem like he is ready for a gf right now.
2007-03-22 14:23:33 · answer #5 · answered by Maid of Constant Sorrow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl maybe he is confused and he needs to get it together to figure out what he wants.
Even though it has been 2yrs it takes a while for someone to get over somebody they really love even if how they ended was bad. You should call him, don't let him coward out and get off easy by not calling. Either he wants to be with you and work at this relationship or he doesn't and it is that simple. You need him to know
2007-03-22 14:40:23 · answer #6 · answered by ~InEvItAbLe~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the things we want are the things we will have to be willing to wait for. If he doesnt call in the next week or so call him and ask him what's going on. Chances are he wants to tell you something that he hasnt got the guts to say yet. There is also the chance that he is trying to say that you and him need time apart.
And NEVER tell him he is pushing you away like "DRU" says. Believe it or not that pushes guys away.
2007-03-22 14:24:10 · answer #7 · answered by Hinari Fumasu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call him either. Let him call you. In time, if he really likes and cares for you... he will realize he ****** up. If not let it go. It wasn't even long anyways.. 2.5 months is not even long.
Or just move on and get a real dude.
2007-03-22 14:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's scared. Give him a lot of time and tell him you hope you are still available when he decides. Then move on. He will either catch up or not.
2007-03-22 14:23:10 · answer #9 · answered by NakasEvilTwin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE HAS BEEN HURT DEEPLY AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT THAT AND ITS ONLY BEEN A SHORT TIME YALL BEEN DATING SO YOU SHOULD GO OUT TO BECAUSE HE IS SHOWING YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE IS GOING TO HOLD HE IS TO FLIP FLOP AND THAT LEAD ME TO BELIEVE THAT HE IS STILL CONFUSED ABOUT HIS FEELING OF BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND LET HIM GO AND SAVE YOURSELF FROM HEARTACHE AND STRESS BECAUSE THE SIGNS ARE UP ALREADY
2007-03-22 14:29:14 · answer #10 · answered by mocha27girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋