Psychological techniques to attract women?

Question

Due to a combination of physical defects, and severe facial scars which I sustained in a childhood accident, I have found it almost impossible to attract the interest of a woman.

While women like to claim that they are attracted to "what's inside", years of watching women fall for physically perfect guys while rejecting me and guys like me has shown me that this is simply untrue.

Considering the better options available to women, I can't really blame them of overlooking someone like myself.

I was wondering if any of you could provide me with techniques for identifying women who might be willing to settle for a guy like myself, and then attracting her romantic interest.

I’ve tried to meet women on-line, at volunteer organizations, at church, and at bars and clubs, all to no avail.

Today's my 24th birthday, and I've decided that I will not be alone on my 25th. I'm either going to find someone, or realize that it is impossible for me to find someone by this date. If it turns out that it is impossible for me to find someone, then I see no reason to continue going through the motions of life and will not live to see my 25th birthday.

To satisfy your macabre curiosity, my facial injuries are the result of having a pot of boiling spaghetti spilled on my face and torso when I was six. Unfortunately, insurance doesn’t cover such elective surgeries and I don’t have the tens of thousands of dollars necessary for such an operation.

Answer 1

I think 24 is a crappy age to decide that this is the year to prove that love can't exist for you. That's absurd. I understand that this is a blatant insult, but you know what, I may be brusque with you- because there's something I've learned about what people are attracted to. If you are convinced that you are good enough- other people will be too. I am a big girl and when it comes down to it- yes, there are people who won't look at you twice, but to be fair, for the most part we live in a superficial culture, so those people are to be expected. But I swear, because I've met them and dated them, there are people who really will love you for who you are so long as you love yourself. If you are willing to do the work to make it so that you can live life alone, and actually enjoy yourself, you will probably have better luck finding someone who would like to spend their time with you. Now what I am talking about is a quality relationship. If you are looking for a relationship purely for the sake of having one so you feel attractive, you'll find one- and she'll walk all over you.

I would challenge you to try and build your confidence in the next year, because that's the only psychological technique that will attract a woman- have faith in yourself and start looking for things in this world that make you happy.

I sincerely hope that sometime in the next 12 monthes something about this clicks- People will begin to accept you when you do, and stop letting the hurt and the insults from the past hurt you. At 24, that's when the fun begins, when you get to become more yourself. And it only gets better- because now you get to live your life on your own terms.

I am sorry you are having such a rough time whereever you are, and I know that somewhere in there, you realize that you are better than losing your mind over something so stupid as a girl.

Also, you are an adult- you don't have to take insults, and watch people walk all over you unless you let them.

And who knows- maybe the right girl will fall out of the sky, but for what it's worth don't wait for the world to change, start loving and respecting yourself- and learn that life isn't all bad- it will start to change around you.

"with all it's shame, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world."- The desiderata.

Answer 2

I think that it is a pure numbers game. The more contact you have with women, the more likely you are to meet someone you are mutually attracted to. All you can do is be yourself and not try to overcompensate for what you feel is a shortcoming with your scars. I don't have scars but I have faced the same obstacles with women who make choices based on the wrong reasons. Just don't try too hard but don't give up either. It's just a matter of time and once you find the right women you will thank yourself for being patient. One thing for sure is - it is not hopeless so don't even think that.

Answer 3

I agree with the poster that says that at 24, you are too young to decide that life isn't worth living if you don't have someone by 25. I hadn't even met my husband when I was 24, and didn't marry until I was 27.

I also have to disagree with your assumption about women falling for physically perfect men. Just look at how many "ugly" or physically unattractive (however you define it) people out there that are hooked up with other people. I don't mean to insult anyone, but that is the brutal truth.

Yes, physical attraction is important to people. However, chemistry, which is a combination of the physical and emotional, is much more important, and much less tangible, and less able to be defined. You are confusing physical attraction with chemistry. And I'm also wondering if you are defining your physical attractiveness only in terms of the parts of you that are "deformed." You physical-ness is your entire physical being - not just the parts that were burned.

So, this is my idea: Tell yourself that for one year, you are putting your romantic pursuits on hold. Do a little reverse psychology - seriously, you are AVOIDING any potential girlfriends for one year. During this year, you will only think about yourself:

1. Work on increasing your physical attractiveness - don't worry about your "defects" or your "scars." Get to the gym, work out, eat healthily, get muscular. Women find men who are fit very physically attractive. I'm not saying you have to become a body builder, just show that you have pride in your body and that you are connected with how you feel physically and sensually.

2. I don't know what your job is like... but if you're stuck in a dead-end job that you hate... work on getting a better one that will make you happy. Take a class if you need to. But find something that you really enjoy doing and work on your finances, get them in order, get a little nest egg for yourself if you haven't already done so. This is on the assumption that happy people are more fun to be around than unhappy people.

3. Look at women as potential FRIENDS. Try to find one or two of them that you can just be friends with. Find a hobby, continue your volunteer or religious work, maybe even look at work. I wouldn't waste my time trying to find friends at bars, people are not at bars to make friends. And when your women pals ask you why you're not hooked up with anyone, tell them that you've taken a "vow" for one year... and then smile mysteriously... and don't say anything else...

The goal for this year is to work on your confidence, which is a precursor to chemistry. Over the long term, you really don't want to just... settle. You want to make yourself over into the kind of guy that women will want to be with. And I'm telling you that you are WRONG if you think that women just want physically perfect men. Every single "nice" guy in the world has been in your position, wondering why "all" the girls out there go for "bad" boys while rejecting "nice" guys like them.

Anyway, that's my idea. Good luck.

Answer 4

In my opinion, first thing i got attracted to an anime series is the cuteness of the character, second is the genre of the anime, third, anime create the world that we could sympathize as if we are also with the characters emotions and feelings...that's what i think..

Answer 5

its all about trial and errors. it can take many many tries without sucess.Dont blame it on ow you look. you must work for it, take the risk
and..
Always flatter a woman. Do it with timing.

Answer 6

In reality you wont find a hot chick, so you will have to yourself settle for whats inside. You could try a bar where the heffers go. They also know they arent going (in general) to hook up with some cool hot guy. They will see whats on the inside easier.