whats your advice on this?

Question

I dated this guy for 5 years on and off but we love each other and 2 yrs ago I got married and had a son with another man( we got married cuz we got pregnant). But I dont feel the same way about him as I do my ex. And now my ex and me are wanting to be friends but my husband doesnt like him at all and he knows that I will always have some kind of feeling for my ex. I dont love my husband the way I should and I tried getting out of it before but that didnt happen thanks to his grandmother and me working together. Anyways my ex and me can understand each other more than my husband and I can each other. I want to be happy and I've thought about what it would be like to have another man raise my child. so what would you do?

Answer 1

if you dont love your husband then you should get out because in the end it is only going to hurt all of you especially your kid.

Answer 2

Back off from your ex. Give the father of your child (and the man who cared enough about commitment to marry you and become your husband) your full attention. I know it's hard; you think everything is great with the dude on the sidelines who has nothing to lose and all the time to enjoy taking his time fooling around with you! Those guys are easy to find!
If you don't love your husband the way you should, it's because you even let this ex get near you. Yeah, I wouldn't love my husband the way I should either if I was cheating on him! You want to be happy but ultimately you will be miserable because of your bad choice if you leave your husband for you ex.
You dated on and off for 5 years. He couldn't make up his mind, could he? Now it's all so clear. You are forbidden fruit to each other; once you got together again, it would all come back to you - why you had those 'off' times and what it was that made you ever get pregnant by another man (your husband). It's not going to be easy but you will be much much better off make a leap into grown-up adulthood. Your child will benefit, your husband will benefit, you will be the person who benefits the most because you willl be happier.
And your ex? He'll just move on to the next person in the land of Dating Until You Drop. Ever heard the phrase, 'You Can't Go Home Again'? Well, you can't go back to high school again - and your ex is strictly high school league dating material. I say that and I don't know him!

Answer 3

First, I would get another job. That is #1 because his grandmother affected your relationship in the past. Then you need to decide which man can give you the best home life and security and chemistry in the bedroom to make you feel loved. If that turns out to be your husband, leave the other guy completely alone. No partying or screwing around. If it is your old love then start finding an affordable lawyer because it's time to change before you have 2 kids instead of only 1.
Very important decision that will change your life forever so think about it alone and sober at all times.

Also think about growing older together. Which one would push your wheelchair if you got hit by a bus. I'm very serious. Think carefully and then make your move and don't go back and forth. Choose only one, you can't have both.

Answer 4

You need to make a decision and in order to do this you need marriage counseling. You loved your husband enough to be intimate and get married.

You may only remember the good things about your ex and are more vague on why you both kept breaking up. I was in a similar situation and at the request of my wife I broke off the friendship with my ex girlfriend and have no regrets.

It is not fair to your husband that you wish to keep the ex-boyfriend close as an escape plan. Once a day you should write down one thing you love about your husband and keep positive thoughts about him. By doing this you will start seeing more clearly why you chose him over your ex.

Good luck.

Answer 5

It has to do with more than you, Ace Baby. Does the ex boyfriend want to help raise the kid? That is the most important question. You deserve to be happy, and if you think you would be happier with the ex boyfriend, then I say go to him and be with him. But your husband might have something to say about you taking off with his kid. And the ex might say he wants the kid, but he only wants you. So you have to get to the truth about all this. And where is the truth? Things get complicated. Your primary consideration has got to be what is best for the child. But your feelings and your happiness are important too. Talk to the boyfriend. Find out where the truth is. And good luck!

Answer 6

IF YOU DIDNT LOVE HIM YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER MARRIED!
thats wrong and agaisnt what marriage is
I don't want to see you hurt your child because you love another man
But now your a married woman ...
so now you have a marriage to work on
absolutly no contact with you EX
because if your ex truley loved you he would let go of you and not hinder in your marrage
you have a child a marriage and a husband to put all effort on
and whatever differences you have work on them and grow together as a family!
raise your child not to make the same mistake you did

Answer 7

You are going to find pros and cons with everyone. Write down what you love/Dislike about both of them and make an honest decision. Remember this is a big decision and you are going to have to decide what's best for you and your child. If your husband is a good man and isn't abusive, then i wouldn't leave him. Spend more time with your hubby, so he can be the man you want him to be. If there's no emotional abuse,Physical abuse, infidelity or serious marital problems- Make your marriage work. You might be a little bored with your husband and you two may need a weekend Get-away-together. The grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Answer 8

Since you aren't happy with your husband, your ex looks very attractive right now. You need to get the ex out of your life and remember why he's your EX and not your husband. There's a reason you didn't marry him, remember? Maybe the solution is neither of them, but you can't make that decision while you have your emotions swiming about.

Answer 9

I married my ex because we were pregnant - huge mistake. We split up not long after our son was born, but we got pregnant again the following spring....long story short, we were officially divorced a year after our daughter was born. We both started dating other people when I was pregnant w/ her, and I've been w/ the same guy ever since. Both of my kids call him Dad, and we have a happy little family. They still see their real dad, call him by his first name, and we all get along. If you decide to divorce your husband to be w/ this other guy, you'll probably get a lot of grief from people, but let it roll off your back. As long as you and your child are happy (and as long as this guy is willing to help you raise this child), then you're okay. Not an easy situation, but you'll be okay. Good luck!

Answer 10

NEVER marry a man just cause you got pregnant. This isnt the sixties. Women have choices now!!! Firstly do you want to get back with your ex? Is there a possibilty? Well I dlont belive in divorce and I dont think you should throw away a marriage for what coulda been. Talk to your ex and see what the situation really is BEFORE you go to divorce court. if you two do have a future then do what you have to do. If not stay with hubby. Good luck.

Answer 11

SORRY love...but you made ur choice...alot of the lack of feeling that u have toward ur husband..may have a little to do with the fact that that ur still in contact with ur ex..
you got to let it go with ur ex....if not for your sake for your childs sake.
U made ur choice..as hard as it is..and i know ...trust me..u gotta get ur ex out of ur life..when u have THAT strong of feeling for him..you cant be friends..u just cant.
and i think that if this was your husband wanting to befriend his EX you may feel similiar to how ur hubby feels now! and i can tell you, its probebly not a good feeling..
think about that...and then tell me .....what would you want your own husband to do...?
think about it..