Has anyone managed to CEASE CONTACT WITH EX-SPOUSE?

Question

even though you have kids?
Completely toxic, even in the same building.
How did you do it, practically.
I know, I know, we should all be friends for the sake of the children, but this is real life.
Thanks.

Answer 1

i'm working on that....it hasn't happened yet....i have a feeling it won't happen unless he died....but i have hope otherwise.

Answer 2

Sort of.

It was hurting my son, (now 12 years old), then 5 not because his father and I couldn't get along, (which we managed to keep pretty much to ourselves), but because his "new" wife would involve herself in conversations and decisions she had no business being in and would do everything she could so that he and I couldn't get along.

We solved it by only doing public hand-offs where everybody was on their best behavior. This worked for a while, until they decided to move to another state.

Now my son sees his dad when he sets up visitation. We usually do the whole thing through email, so there's a record of it and no he said she said.

Other things that can work is sending a journal back and forth with nothing but kid information.

Having a friend do the transfer from house to house.

Best advice I can honestly give you is look at how your kids are dealing with the divorce. To completely pull one parent away permanently would be devastating under any circumstances. Sometimes though, it is necessary. (like abused, neglected etc...)

--Lee Ann

Answer 3

Divorce is the end. You can't still act pissed about stuff that happened in the marriage. If you still fight, you're still in love. The "closure" is the divorce. I know it's "real life", but are you a "real adult"? My parents were divorced, and fought for a while, but pretty quickly only spoke about me and my sister. Never about the marriage. They acted like it never happened. Adult. My step-father and his ex-wife were the same. Talked about their kids only. My ex and I never fought after our divorce. NEVER... You have to respect the other person even if you don't respect them. You have to be willing to be nice, even if you still want to k-k-k-kill them. For the kids. AND FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!!! It's not a matter of "but this is real life"... it is real life and you CAN force yourself to be CIVIL, not buddy-buddy, because if you don't the children are forced to decide which one of you to like. That's not fair. And maybe you'd like them to know exactly what an idiot/jerk/*** etc. the other person is, but if you do that, and they choose to be on your side, they'll be pissed at you eventually, when they realize divorce isn't one-sided. You were both wrong. If the marriage failed, it's because of both people so maybe you should start being a little more humble and forgiving, and realize there's no fight anymore, because IT'S OVER!!! None of that "you brought the kids back 15 minutes late" -- so what, were you planning on teaching them the secrets of the universe in that 15 minutes? and if so, can't you do it now?--... NO FIGHT, you're not married. 15 minutes is no big freaking deal. Stop putting the kids through hell and let it go.

Answer 4

Try being the better person and not allowing things to get toxic. Why bother all it is gonna do is screw up both of your relationships with the kids. Simple smile at her and dont go there. Eventually she will get tired of not getting a rise out of you and stop her behavior. It really does work.

Answer 5

you will desire to be disenchanted. She broke her notice and she or he lied to you. Did you tell her which you observed those e-mails? How did she react? If she had any anger, then it became no longer innocuous. don't experience undesirable for locating at her digital mail. There would desire to be finished disclosure of all issues between you 2. you will desire to comprehend all her passwords and she or he would desire to comprehend yours. conceal no longer something from one yet another and you're able to get that openness you prefer in a effective courting. Why lie approximately any of this while it incredibly is "innocuous"? She broke her notice and lied to her husband (risked her marriage) for in basic terms some "innocuous bantering" with an ex? sounds like she would not supply a crap approximately your courting and would not fee you. save a prepared eye for greater unscrupulous habit. good success to you!

Answer 6

You can't completely cease contact. There is no rule that you have to be friends, but you will still need to communicate on occasion about your children, and try to be as respectful as possible with one another especially in the children's presence.

Answer 7

I have gotten to the point that I only speak to my ex when it is absolutely necessary and that is only to let her know when our son is sick or there is something important going on in his life. If she calls me I let it go to voice mail. If she emails or texts me I read it but again only respond if it involves our son.

She just got to the point that I couldn't stand to hear her voice so I didn't have a choice. It's much easier to ignore her than to let her push my buttons so that I look like a raving lunatic.

Oddly enough, my mood has been a TON better since I started ignoring her.

Answer 8

EASY ....... transfer to another state. Be sure not to let him know where you are. This includes your family members. Your whereabouts must be sworn to secrecy!!!
My ex was a drug addict and is a threat to my children. I have every right and it was my decision to cut him off of our lives.
If you feel that ceasing your contact with your ex spouse is BENEFICIAL to your children... so be it! Forget what other people say ... follow your parental instincts.

Answer 9

Daisy, it took me years to finally get the ex out of my hair. the kids are now over 18 and I am happy that he has no contact with me anymore. he hardly talks to his kids and when he does he usually ends up yelling at them in his drunken stupor. All I can say is find another place to live when your lease is up and then you'll not have him too close for comfort.

Answer 10

Sorry you can't do it since there are kids involved. Should have picked a better person to make babies with.

That being said, I have for all but the very basic requirements. It's not really that hard to turn it down to that level.

Answer 11

My husband was having this issue with his ex. We petitioned the court for mediation. Now she is not allowed to contact him it all has to be done via third party.