this has never happened i think cus i had my kids around//recently divorced and this is not going the way i thought it would i used to welcome divorce ,now i feel like a teenager who just broke up with her first boyfreind//they say time well they say that about everything.. i miss the poor old man..even his faults..geesh
2007-03-22 05:54:47 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Divorces are just tough and stressful, there is absolutely nothing pleasant about a relationship dying. However...you have to analyze what led to the break up, and if you consider it something that could have been prevented, yet the only reason it wasn't was because of either or both of your egos, then you should try to rekindle the relationship. At this point it is probably better to start a friendship and then take it from there.
2007-03-22 11:32:48 · answer #1 · answered by E! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't miss him, Honey. You miss what "could have been" if he'd been different. When you go through divorce, there's a grieving process, just like if someone died. Your life changes so much, and we all fear the unknown, and change IS the unknown. You're used to having someone tell you what to do, and you know what, you're even USED to someone making you feel miserable, because it's all you've known for a while, so at least you take comfort in the familiar...but I assure you, cuz I've been there, it IS true that time heals those wounds. You'll always wonder what could have been, but once you get a taste of how life can really be, how someone can truly love you, and learn to love YOURSELF, and realize you don't NEED anyone else but yourself, you'll truly begin living the good life. Then, the next person to really love you is there because you WANT them, not because you NEED them to feel complete. Hang in there, just like the eye of a storm, it always gets worse before it gets better, but it only lasts a little while, and then the sun comes out again. :) Find some girl friends to go shopping or goofing off, or even to the beach to get some sun with. Find a hobby you always wanted to try but didn't because of him. Find a play group for your children, and let them go play while you take a day to yourself sometimes. Surround yourself with positive people, and you'll be just fine.
2007-03-22 13:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love ache is the hardes thing to heal, I'm sorry you are going through this.
Why did it end? Is there any chance of it working out? If there is still a chance where you can both try it, then do not give up and see what can be done.
If unfortunately there is nothing you can do, let all your emotions out and have your friends around you.Do not feel ashamed to feel hurt or to cry its part of the healing process and yes,it SUCKS! Do not spend much time alone, surround your self with all those who care about you, they will help and you will not think about him as much. You will hurt for a while and I am sorry but there is nothing that can help with that but be strong. Remember that you can be a strong person and there is other things in life that will bring you happiness. You mention kids, well they might be older now but they are still your kids and they love you, spend time with them.
2007-03-22 13:16:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is it true love or comfort because the two become the same in a marriage. If you been living with someone for years (guessing from the kids) you become so comfortable and used to having them around even if you hate a lot about them. I would try to find a replacement, which can be a person(s) or hobbies that will cause you to think less about him.
Not sure how long it's been since the divorce but sometimes like you said it could be true love. I recently got back with an ex-gf who I dated for 4 years but we been apart for 2 years. For us it was that we were just very good together (both of us went out with others) but we realised how much we loved each other I guess.
So my only answer would be is try finding something that will cause you to think less of them or will keep you too busy to think of them, it's hard but all you can do is try. And I've heard of many couples who got re-married after realising that they were meant for each other.
2007-03-22 13:12:04 · answer #4 · answered by MO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to let go! But think about it; why did you get divorced in the first place. This is a lesson to learn from the two of you. One never appreciates what the other does or always wants too much and is never satisfied. The other always looks for faults and never compliments on the little things that count. Remember those vows we all take; Through thick and thin, sickness and health, for better or worse, til death do us part. We have to reexamine ourselves and find out why can't we succeed in this type of relationship. Its hard I've been married three times. Papa HANKO
2007-03-22 13:05:44 · answer #5 · answered by papa_hanko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to figure out if you really miss the old man or is it the ease of the relationship that you long for. Recognize that the two of you had problems and you will have them still if you got back together. Then get dressed up and go out specifically to meet new people. The easiest way to do this is in the company of the same old people.(friends)
2007-03-22 13:08:33 · answer #6 · answered by superman_clarkkent_kalel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surround yourself with family/friends. Especially the really young ones. There is nothing like being around the total innocence of a child to get you to realize that life is worth living (even without your love). Don't give yourself time to be miserable. Buy some books, loose yourself in the stories there. Even with that, the old time heals is true. Give yourself time and be around people that love you forever. It never completely goes away but it makes you stronger in the end.
2007-03-22 13:01:51 · answer #7 · answered by Megan F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yep, women thing divorce is the answer and they think everything will be soo much better. My wife cheated on me, left me and my kids, and she thought she was just gonna leave and start over, now she's STILL depressed, and realizes that what she did didn't resolve ANYTHING, but it's too late, since she was a bad mom and wife, and I'd never take her back, my heart has been through soo much I could never take the chance on going through it again, and I couldn't put my kids through it either. (she's not with the guy she cheated with either)
2007-03-22 13:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by KidBao 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl it is OK you wanted this to happen but you have been with this one person for so long that it will not seem right for a long time but it will happen and you will be the better for it in the end and if you need help to think about this then you need to look at the Kidd's and think that you have done the best you could do for them they don't need to be in any relationship that don't want to be together they will end up thanking you one day you will see when they get older and know what happened with you and their dad! go girl good luck with this
2007-03-23 04:58:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to him and make it work this time if there is this possibility, only you know this. I love someone I have no possibility of being with, but I still love them soooo???? Feel lucky and be happy.
2007-03-22 13:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by Friend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋